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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Just a quick poll based on my other post.
You can elaborate if you want to, though 
I'm wondering which matters more / is more relevant in a disagreement?
The intention of the person who said or did the "thing"
OR
The perception of the person on the receiving end of what was said or done.
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Posted 4/19/11 2:08 PM  |
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jilliibabii
Mrs. O'Connor
Member since 6/10 12821 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Depends which side of the arguement I'm on. 
But honestly, I feel like intention is more important. You can perceive things to be xyz but that doesn't mean they are.
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:12 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
they both matter in that they need to be clear to both parties involved in order to avoid a disagreement
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:13 PM |
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IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!
Member since 1/08 6549 total posts
Name:
Patty
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Neither. You may have the best of intentions but that doesn't mean that's someone's perception.
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:14 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Posted by IrishLass
Neither. You may have the best of intentions but that doesn't mean that's someone's perception.
actually this is probably what i should have said... once you got to the argument stage neither matters
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:18 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Kind of impossible to answer, since they come from 2 different sides of the argument/conversation, kwim?? My intention might be to save you money, or stress, or heartache; your perception might be that I'm calling you an idiot who can't think her way out of a paper bag.
We can argue til the cows come home about who was more "right" but at the end of the day *I* am responsible for the words that leave my mouth (or fingertips in this digital age).
A friend of mine employs this strategy when facing a potentially unpleasant conversation: She asks herself --
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said today?
Does it need to be said today BY ME?
Less than 3 yesses and she gives it a miss. She's a smart cookie. I am not that smart
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:21 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Posted by IrishLass
Neither. You may have the best of intentions but that doesn't mean that's someone's perception.
ITA
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:22 PM |
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AnxiousPants
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/09 864 total posts
Name:
EDD 10/22!
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Posted by colette
A friend of mine employs this strategy when facing a potentially unpleasant conversation: She asks herself --
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said today?
Does it need to be said today BY ME?
Less than 3 yesses and she gives it a miss. She's a smart cookie. I am not that smart
Love this! 
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:25 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Posted by AnxiousPants
Posted by colette
A friend of mine employs this strategy when facing a potentially unpleasant conversation: She asks herself --
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said today?
Does it need to be said today BY ME?
Less than 3 yesses and she gives it a miss. She's a smart cookie. I am not that smart
Love this!
In an argument, though, your perception is that all 3 are a definite YES!!! Even though the next day, you realize you should have intended not to say it..... 
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:30 PM |
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dctead
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Member since 11/10 2139 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
You can't control how someones perception of a situation... You can only control your own intentions...
And (IMO) if you have to clarify so that someone doesn't preceve the situation incorrectly - then explain away (but with the understanding that they may not ever hear what you are saying...).
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:34 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by AnxiousPants
Posted by colette
A friend of mine employs this strategy when facing a potentially unpleasant conversation: She asks herself --
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said today?
Does it need to be said today BY ME?
Less than 3 yesses and she gives it a miss. She's a smart cookie. I am not that smart
Love this!
In an argument, though, your perception is that all 3 are a definite YES!!! Even though the next day, you realize you should have intended not to say it.....
Yep. That's why my friend is a GIANT among women, kwim? To answer those questions *HONESTLY* requires a maturity that I still strive for. She really can (and does) distill the issue down to these 3 simple ideas, answers them honestly, and then proceeds on a course of action. I'm not there yet
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:41 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
for me, intention.
that is where the truth lies.
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:45 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Perception, as that is what is going to make the lasting impression on everyone but the person doing the intended thing.
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| Posted 4/19/11 2:48 PM |
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Andrewz00
Look! I changed it!
Member since 4/10 1789 total posts
Name:
Andrew
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Perception is nothing other then interpreted intent...... If you dont understand the language being spoken, you can not understand the true meaning behind ones actions.
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| Posted 4/19/11 3:19 PM |
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jerseypanda
Life is good.
Member since 1/07 9164 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Which matters more? Intention or Perception?
Personally, I think how you communicate is the most important. How's that for not answering the question!
You can have the best intentions in the world, but if it doesn't translate properly to the other person their perception is not going to align with what you were trying to accomplish. If you find that people often have strange reactions to things that you do/say, maybe you need to look at how you say things. It's amazing how a pause in a sentence or emphasis on a different word can completely change the way something comes across to someone.
For example, read the following 2 sentences to yourself and see how amazing it is to read the same words, but put some extra pauses in and end up with a completely different meaning.
A woman without her man is useless.
A woman, without her, man is useless.
Let's say you are talking to someone who thinks women are nothing without a man, but you say the sentence above to them the second way it's written.... that's not how you meant it, but the way it sounds to the other person is 100% opposite of your intention. Their perception of what you just said is the polar opposite of what your intention was.
And this is why, to me, it's all about communication and HOW you say things.
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| Posted 4/19/11 3:27 PM |
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