Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Im taking graduate classes Mondays and Wednesdays from 5:00pm - 8:30pm. Ive only been to 2 classes so far and this is what Im currently doing:

(my mom has a daycare in her home that runs until 6pm-closing)
I live in Glendale (For those who dont know Queens lets call this point A farthest west). I leave the house at 3:40, drive to my moms house in Bayside to drop off the baby(point C- 25 mins away from my house, farthest east, ive passed the college at this point). Then I drive another 15 mins (backwards) to the college (forest hill- in the middle of my house and my moms house-point B).

Attend for 3+ hours then go to bayside pick up the baby and drive back home. We get home by 9pm, she is asleep, goes right to the crib, my husband hasnt seen her the entire day (mind you this is mon & wed) so he wouldnt be seeing her at all those 2 days.

I trust my mom 110% she has raised 3 kids and has a daycare, shes an expert. Then only thing is that Julianna (5months) is so much younger than the other kids. Its not like she can blend right in with them and play, she kinda needs more attention. I drop her off by 4 and the parents are coming to pick up the kids from 4-6. Julianna is a very needy baby. She needs to be held or entertained all.the.time. or else she cries. I gave my mom the schedule for julianna, she was supposed to nap at around 5:45 no earlier ( I want her to be awake for at least 2 hours before napping). I call during class to check up on her and my mom put her to sleep at 5. Why? cause she said juju was crying so much and the parents were roliing in one after another she couldnt really be one-on-one with juju. I believe in a strict schedule, I really believe this is why she sleeps 12 hours at night, I want to keep it that way. Now that juju slept 45 mins earlier the rest of the nights schedule is messed up. My mom totally disagrees with this. She was like "oh I gave her the paci, put her down and she wasnt super sleepy but she fell asleep".

ETA: Also, my mom said she was crying the entire time 4-6 cause no one was able to be with her. She is just in the swing basically.

Im really upset. I know that 4-6 is the busiest time for my mom and its easier is juju is napping at that time so she can see to the daycare. The thing is I cant really make it so she is READY for a nap a those times, ya know? It all depends on when she wakes up and everyday is just a little bit different. After 6pm, when the daycare is over my mom is one-on-one with juju till I get her at 8:45.

What do you think of this? Am i makign a big deal out of nothing? Do you think this is the best option?

I was thinking today (OPTION #2) that maybe I can find a sitter? Someone to come to the house from 4:30 to (whenever my husband comes home) usually 6:30, 7 the latest. That way I dont have to go to bayside just to drive back to forest hills for class and then back to bayside and then back home to Glendale. The sitter would be able to follow the schedule better cause its just one-on-one. Plus, that way my husband can put her to sleep. The thing is I have never left her with a stranger! Im really scared to, I would of course ask for a rec. from my friends or something.

SO? which one?

My mom:
Pro's: She is an expert, she is her grandmother, she is free.

Cons: Cant follow a strict schedule cause of distractions, hassle to get there.

Babysitter:
Pro's: She'd be one-on-one following a schedule, my husband would take ober at 7 and be able to put her to sleep.

Cons: Someone I dont know, $$$

Please help, this is really bothering me. Almost to the point where I want to cancel these classes but unfortunately I cant

Message edited 1/24/2011 10:49:49 PM.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I'm sorry, but I do think that you're making a big deal out of nothing. It's only a difference of 45 minutes and I truly believe that babies need to learn to adapt to different situations. I know I may be in the minority here, but DD doesn't have a set nap schedule and she sleeps 12+ hours at night.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I agree I don't think 45 minutes is going to ruin her 12+hrs sleep...I would give it a few more tries and if you feel like you need a sitter then go for it...its only twice a week so its not that bad...hope everything works out!

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I agree with others...you have to have your daughter be able to adapt to different situations...you might not always be able to make her nap at that time. My DS's naps START anywhere from 12-3 pm and always sleeps 2-3 hrs and still sleeps 12 hrs at night....If you have a rough night or two, I bet it wont last long...

although the babysitter does seem a little more convienent for you and your DH, your mom is a great opportunity ( ) as well!

Also, as your DD gets older, she may like the friendship with the kids who wont seem that much older in the near future!

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

ETA: Also, my mom said she was crying the entire time 4-6 cause no one was able to be with her. She is just in the swing basically.


This is what made me vote for the babysitter. I am sure your mom is wonderful, and the napping time wouldn't bother me, but if your mom is sooo busy from 4-6, I don't think this is the best idea. I wouldn't be comfortable with my DD cring for 2 hours because nobody can be with her.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I would totally want someone to come to my home. It seems like a lot of extra driving for a few hours of babysitting.

I am big on schedules. Then again, we pretty much revolve our lives around DS's sleep schedule.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I would go with mom because you aren't going to have any guarantees with a sitter either. DS goes to a sitter, but she has a much harder time getting him to sleep than we do so his naps are MUCH shorter on the days she has them.
IMO, babies need to learn to adapt - it will make life much easier down the road. Having a child that needs to be in his/her own bed at 7pm is going to make your life that much more difficult down the road. DS can go to sleep pretty much anywhere at this point and if he doesn't go to sleep by 8 pm (his normal bedtime) he'll just sleep later the next day...it all works out in the end.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I say sitter. My reason being for your DH. I think it is better he get that alone time w/ her than not see her two days every week. Then less driving for you too. Honestly having her at your mom's is going to make you nuts. This way you wont have the conflict either.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Babysitter, hands down. Peace of mind for you with the sleeping situation, your DH gets to see her and put her to bed and you don't have to drive all over like a mad woman. It's nice that your mom offered to watch her, but I would go with a sitter. Also, do the other parents at that daycare know that your mom took on a baby?

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Hmmm....are you just taking classes this semester? If so, I'd probably suck it up and keep her @ your mom's. It will be inconveninent, but it's only temporary and it's free. It's already the end of January. You probably have classes only until early May. 1 week will be spring break. 1 week you'll skip class. So it's really not going to be a long-term pain in the neck.

If you plan to take summer classes and more classes in the fall, then I'd switch to a babysitter.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I vote sitter ONLY because I think that the extra driving is too much. And it would be nice for DH to have alone time with DD.

However I think when it comes to your mom you might be being a little TOO strict. I am a firm believer in schedules helping a baby! DS slept through the night at 7 weeks and had a schedule from then on. However as a mom of a 3yo, I also fully fully believe that if you are more flexible with your baby, than they will become more flexible.

If DS's nap time was 5:45 (as an example) and he went to bed at 5....to me its like okay no biggie...we adjust from there. And my DS was always the kid who could sleep anywhere, could be an hour past his bedtime and not be throwing fits, etc. I think there is something to be said for adding some flexibility to your schedule.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Thanks everyone for your input

Im gonna talk to my mom about it and see if maybe the sitter is a better option for us, who knows she might agree lol.

My DH was saying that juju being at the daycare is a good thing cause she'll learn she cant be held all the time, etc. I guess I see his point. BUt I know how demanding she can be and I dont want to stress my mom out either.

Appreciate the responses

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I think your DD will start adapting to the situation and needs to learn how to self soothe adapting to new situations. I would LOVE it to have my mother watch my DD over a stranger.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Posted by d-h2008

Thanks everyone for your input

Im gonna talk to my mom about it and see if maybe the sitter is a better option for us, who knows she might agree lol.

My DH was saying that juju being at the daycare is a good thing cause she'll learn she cant be held all the time, etc. I guess I see his point. BUt I know how demanding she can be and I dont want to stress my mom out either.

Appreciate the responses

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

Posted by Tilde

Posted by d-h2008

Thanks everyone for your input

Im gonna talk to my mom about it and see if maybe the sitter is a better option for us, who knows she might agree lol.

My DH was saying that juju being at the daycare is a good thing cause she'll learn she cant be held all the time, etc. I guess I see his point. BUt I know how demanding she can be and I dont want to stress my mom out either.

Appreciate the responses

Okay so this is what I wanted to write, and I typed it out twice but I didn't want to offend you

I think its great for DD to learn she CAN'T be held all the time. I know that my DD is an easier baby b/c my mom puts her in her high chair and goes about her day. So, if she is cooking or cleaning, DD is in the room with her and my mom will interact with her BUT she isn't carrying her around. In the end, it makes MY life easier as well.

I also think that it may help make DD more flexible. I have DD on a schedule too but my mom very loosely follows it and things happen ALL the time that mess with it and DD just goes with the flow now.

I have found that the nights she doesn't STTN are totally random - not when she is "off schedule"

Good luck with your decision!

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

I do both. DS is in daycare 2x a week, with my Mom 2x and my MIL 2x. He has a schedule with each of them and on the days he is with me has a schedule too. I was at first very rigid when I had to let him go at 3 months & for the most part they stuck to his feeding schedule but then I realized what worked for him and I, is not going to work for everyone else. It's good for them to adapt and whatever you choose, whether babysitter or Mother you shouldn't expect anyone to stick directly to your schedule, KWIM? Let them get into their own routine with each other.

I'd stick with your mom, although that commute seems tough!

Message edited 1/25/2011 10:57:47 AM.

Re: Which would you choose (childcare wise) ADVICE NEEDED!!

If you feel like you have to have that schedule, I would get a babysitter. Your mom need to do her job, frankly her paying clients come first during that time.