Who thinks about leaving???

DH and I keep going back and forth on leaving the area. My family is all on LI (we live in NJ) and DH's family is all over. He is not happy with his job here...I am perfectly content with mine.

But...there are days that I would like to go somewhere, where houses are big and beautiful and we can afford something brand new. DH always says he can find a job he would like in his industry...but it's just not here.

So...would you move to a strange place where you might not know anybody...for a better standard of living for your family? Or...would you stay here in your little house close by to some family, where you hate your job and DH is always miserable?

Thoughts please.....thanks.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

I am dreaming about moving out of New York, but I guess the fear of finding new jobs and starting from scratch is stopping us... I want my own house with a backyard that doesn't cost an arm and a leg...

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We have definitely considered moving out of state. We've considered Florida because that's where most of my family is now. I do still have some family in NY... but I'm not as close with them as I am to the ones in FL.

DH's family is in NC but that's just too too rural for us. We need to be near a city.

The beautiful houses that we could buy outright just with the equity in our current home are amazing. So tempting.

Our problem is we are very happy and very secure in our jobs...makes it so hard to leave!! If we were unhappy in our jobs, it would be alot easier to make the decision to move.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Tough situation.
I think it really depends as to how close you are with your family. How much time you spend with them or see them per say.......(daily? weekly? monthly?). If you put it like this, it might not seem so bad.
I also think that work is a very important of an individual's life and if the person is miserable where they work, sooner or later, that will spill into the other areas and at the worst scenario, the person can become depressed.
You also have to research as to where you are moving and the job market in that location. If you research and even apply for jobs before you do your actual move (in the event that you do decide to go) then, things may not be so bad.
Quality of life is always important....and if you can make things better and live more comfortably in a bigger space...why not.?
And you can always visit the family.....or viceversa...

Good Luck with your decisions....

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Message edited 12/27/2006 8:02:33 PM.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

I am happy with my job...DH is not. It's my family that is here...and we see them on average 2x month. I know my mother would be devistated if we left...but like everyone says, we can visit or they can visit.

We would definitely secure jobs (or at least one of us) in a new place before picking up and moving...but the decision on whether to pursue that is so hard.

We are in the middle of re-doing our house now to make it bigger...and I feel like we put alot of money into it to make it what we want...and now DH says we should leave. Part of me agrees with him...part of me doesn't.

My best friend now lives in Ohio...she says she loves it there and would never come back here...they see their families when they can...I think other people do it, why can't I?

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

No i would never move.
LI real estate ***** but both our families are here. They are our biggest support system and we like that.
So here i will be staying

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

I LOVE LI, but we are REALLy considering going to N. Craline.
We are going to go down during my December break and look at real estate and talk to some agents.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Honestly, if my parents and DH's parents were gone (GOD forbid), we would be living outside of NY already

DH would definitely move out of state in a heartbeat, even with his parents on LI .. BUT I am the one who holds us back because I am so close to my parents and they do so much for us

Neither of us are in love with our jobs at ALL , and even though we seem to make good $$, we always feel as though we are barely making ends meet in NY.. we have pondered moving down south, out west or to Pennsylvania.. anywhere where we could afford to live a little more comfortably


BUT for now, I just feel too tied to NY and my family, so its really not an option

Message edited 11/18/2005 10:26:14 AM.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Kim, this must be hard for you.

IMO I would have DH start looking around and really seeing if he could get a job in other locations. Let him start sending resumes, etc.

I understand your reluctance to leave because of family but I believe DH is my first family, with my mom, etc my second family.

If moving will give your family a better life in the future then that is def. something to consider. Maybe you won't have to work if you live outside of NJ/NY. Or maybe just part-time.

My friend just moved to FL because of her DH's job, she was not thrilled about it but they made a deal that she can fly home any time she wants (she doesn't have to work down there since the $ goes so much further)

Good luck Kim!!

ETA - DH just opened 2 businesses in NY so leaving is not an option for us

Message edited 11/18/2005 10:26:14 AM.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We are totally having this predicament...BIG TIME!! We both like our jobs, our families are here, and I said I would NEVER leave my family... BUT now that we have kids of our own, I feel like I need to give them a better life, and be in a place that THEY will be able to live in once they are older. If prices are like they are now on LI, can you imagine what they're going to be like when our kids are grown???!!!

I just feel like we will NEVER make enough $$ to live on LI. It's very discouraging. We are seriously considering N. Carolina.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

fm

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

When we were engaged, DH got a job offer from his company in Ohio. We knew it was a temporary thing and it was a great opportunity, so he took it and we moved there.
I hated it! All our friends and family are here. We could not wait to move back to NY. We were there for about a year. We said we would never again move out of here...there is no place like NY to us!

But, if this is what you want, why not give it a try, you can always move back!

Message edited 11/18/2005 10:39:17 AM.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We are 99% sure we are moving to FL in a few years. My mom is going to move and his parents are already there. The thing thats holding us back is my dad and my sister. There is no way in hell I can leave them. The jobs, the cost of living and everything else stinks so I would have no problem leaving that stuff. Its the family holding me back. I know you can get cheap flights and what not. But its just that all visits have to be planned. YOu cant just pop in for a quick visit at anytime. Its such a hard decision and I ultimately dont know what we are going to do.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We did move out of state for a couple of years to NC. We moved b/c we both just couldn't take the situation we were in any longer (housemates made me want to HURT someone and we both hated our jobs.) The plan was to move to MD - I had one friend there and we found a nice apt in Annapolis, but then the biotch rented it out to someone else b/f we could sign the lease. So, my brother lived in NC and told us to come down there.

Anyway, yeah, it was in some ways better - but not as "better" as I had hoped. DH ended up getting a job back on LI in his field - and though it was a summer position, we held out hope that it would turn permanent, and it did so we were glad to come back for that.
His parents and one sister are on LI and my dad and all my aunts, uncles and cousins are on LI so I like being close. But, my dad may at some point move. So, I would definately consider moving back to NC to be near my brother and his family and to maybe have a better standard of living. But, then we still have DH's sister and her family and his parents (his other is in GA.) So, who knows what we'll do in the future.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We do.

DH likes his job though, and can't do it anywhere else.

I also would want my mom near me, so I'd have to convince her to move too.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Honestly, I can not WAIT for the day that DH and I get out of New York. We were going to leave as soon as we got married and it was stupid of us not to.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Posted by MrsJ

Posted by MsG

We do.

DH likes his job though, and can't do it anywhere else.

I also would want my mom near me, so I'd have to convince her to move too.

Don't even think about leaving! We have to team up and patrol the block for people who run stop signs!

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We definitely talk about this with the real estate market being the way it is, but I'm reluctant to leave my family. My parents are getting older and I really don't want to leave them at this stage of the game, plus I'm really close with my sister and her two children. DH would leave in a heartbeat as he's not particularly close with anyone in his family.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

No. Having grown up far away from my grandparents and only seeing them every other year or so, I love being near my family now.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

Posted by MrsJ

Posted by MsG

We do.

DH likes his job though, and can't do it anywhere else.

I also would want my mom near me, so I'd have to convince her to move too.

Don't even think about leaving! We have to team up and patrol the block for people who run stop signs!

Message edited 11/18/2005 11:55:12 AM.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

When I was a kid we moved away from all our extended family...it was very lonely...and my parents regreted it. Even after moving back, my mother still gets emotional becuase those are years she can never get back.

Re: Who thinks about leaving???

We are in the process of moving to Raleigh, NC. It is going to be hard to leave our families but if we want to be able to have one of our own one day, we need to go somewhere where we can live more comfortably. We realized we need to live for us and if we want to have the life we want, we need to just do it.

I will miss my sister who is my best friend the most but we can visit as much as possible. We will find a way to make it all work.