Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

My cousin had a baby last week and unfort, the baby was taken 3 wks early bc my cousin fell and broke her hip.
They are all ok but STILL in hospital.

Anyway, she had the baby the day we found out that DHs aunt died. The days following were filled w/ family obligations. I called my cousin 2x and spoke to her husband. My mom also went to see her and told her about DHs aunt.

Well, my mom is giving me flack about not going up tp hospital yesterda. I worked til 3, then tutored til 6 and was not going to drive ALL the way to Winthrop from Islip. Plus, from being out of work for DHs aunt, i had TONS of work to do last night.

Today, my mom says she thinks my cousin is MAD at me !!!


W T F?? I called her 5x today and it was busy forever. FINALLY she answered and said "the dr is here i cant talk". My mom thinks shes made bc i havent gone to see her. I just called her AGAIN and she said "i cant talk right now". Ummmm... why the F*CK am i feeling guilty???? When was i supposed to go see her? And im home w/ a flu so im certainly not going today

Message edited 3/27/2007 5:20:55 PM.

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

Don't feel guilty. Someone died, what can you do?

Do you think your mother is exaggerating or over-analyzing. Mine does this & the other person couldn't care less. I'm sure your cousin has a lot on her mind & you'll see the baby eventually

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

My feeling is that you can't be in all places at the same time. If she is mad, she will have to get over it. I am sure if you could have made it you would have. There was a death in the family and then you come back to your daily grind. What fun would you have been visiting her if you were tired and in a bad mood from your work day?

Don't feel guilty. That does nothing.

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

If she is mad at you, it could totally be hormonal after having the baby and having an injury.

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

Posted by Lauren

My feeling is that you can't be in all places at the same time. If she is mad, she will have to get over it. I am sure if you could have made it you would have. There was a death in the family and then you come back to your daily grind. What fun would you have been visiting her if you were tired and in a bad mood from your work day?

Don't feel guilty. That does nothing.

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

If she is mad she will get over it. You called.

One of my cousin's didn't call, didn't visit - and we were very close. I'm over it but when it happened it was very hurtful - and I was full over emotions. Giving birth does a number on your body and your hormones are all over the place the first few weeks.

An injury on top of that would be even more difficult to deal with

Message edited 3/27/2007 10:17:15 PM.

Re: Why do i feel guilty?? I should be mad!

It sounds like your mom might be stirring the pot like most mom's do. Your cousin is probably just downright sick of being in the hospital, and not for nothing, no one really wants a TON of visitors in the hospital. It can be a bit much. Maybe send over some flowers or an edible arrangement so she knows you're thinking of her. If nothing else, it'll help relieve you of your guilt. I do the same thing to myself.