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Why do people have to make me feel bad

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Charly
LOVE!

Member since 5/05

12578 total posts

Name:

Why do people have to make me feel bad

about having to put my baby in daycare at 12 weeks. Everyone asks how long are you staying home with the baby - well I need my job and salary so even though I won't get paid for the full 12 weeks I decided to take it. Then the next question is - who is watching the baby? Family? Unfortunately I'm not lucky to live near family so I have to use a full time day care center.

I get the most awful comments/reactions. I just want to cry and I haven't even had the baby yet. Chat Icon

Is day care that bad?

Posted 8/1/06 1:23 PM
 
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DRMom
Two in Blue

Member since 5/05

20223 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Honestly, I think daycare is good for kids. It exposes them to interaction with other babies and helps them develomentally. It gets them used to being with other people so you are not always overwhelmed. At least now that you're starting early you won't have to deal as much with the separation anxiety. As my husband says guilt is like a bag of bricks-just set it down!

Posted 8/1/06 1:27 PM
 

sweetpea
xoxo

Member since 7/06

2467 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

awww. dont listen. u have to do what is best for you and your family.
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Posted 8/1/06 1:35 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Why do they? Because they're idiots.

Is daycare bad? No, not for you. For you it will work out just fine.Chat Icon

I've posted my Top Reasons before but in case you missed it:

Reasons to love daycare:
1- They get your kid on a schedule
2 - They potty train for you
3 - They are full of advice on how to deal with "I do it myself" tantrums.
4 - Your kid will learn to share better if he's around other kids
5 - Your kid will get every germ to mankind and become super immune for elementary school.
6 - Your kid will get you sick & give you super immunity to germs as well.
7 - You will get a ton of crafts home from your child...paintings made from handprints, etc.
8 - Your baby will get used to other people & will have less stranger anxiety
9 - Opens up tons of new babysitting options by snagging teachers' phone numbers
10- You have no choice Chat Icon

Posted 8/1/06 1:51 PM
 

Marybeth222
My Girls!

Member since 5/05

2688 total posts

Name:
Marybeth

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

I am extremely sensitive to this topic.

You do what you have to do. Please do not let people beat you up on this subject. I'm sure you're doing that all by yourself.

I know exactly how you feel. Trust me in a few months, you will NOT feel this way. You will see how much your child is doing and see how happy they are!

My 2 1/2 year old wakes up on the days she's NOT at Tutor Time and says "mommy, tutor time today?" She loves it!

YOU ARE NOT A BAD PARENT BECAUSE YOUR CHILD IS IN DAY CARE!!!

Posted 8/1/06 2:10 PM
 

skygirl
Our prayers were answered:)

Member since 6/05

4919 total posts

Name:
Erica

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Posted by nrthshgrl

Why do they? Because they're idiots.

Is daycare bad? No, not for you. For you it will work out just fine.Chat Icon

I've posted my Top Reasons before but in case you missed it:

Reasons to love daycare:
1- They get your kid on a schedule
2 - They potty train for you
3 - They are full of advice on how to deal with "I do it myself" tantrums.
4 - Your kid will learn to share better if he's around other kids
5 - Your kid will get every germ to mankind and become super immune for elementary school.
6 - Your kid will get you sick & give you super immunity to germs as well.
7 - You will get a ton of crafts home from your child...paintings made from handprints, etc.
8 - Your baby will get used to other people & will have less stranger anxiety
9 - Opens up tons of new babysitting options by snagging teachers' phone numbers
10- You have no choice Chat Icon



WEll said!!!!
I agree with you- people are idiots. People are always so self righteous, whats works for some does not work for others.
I think its great for kids to be around other kids- it teaches them to share and be more social.
I think whatever works for you will work great for your family- people need to stop judging others when they haven't a clue.
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You are going to be a great mom- people always have SOMETHING to say about ANYTHING anyway, ignore thier ignorant comments and bs.
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Posted 8/1/06 2:11 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Charly, I'm in a very similar situation- I have NO family here and neither does DH. So daycare is our only option. Also, I will be going back at around 8 weeks (when DH's semester ends) because we need the money.

DH's niece and nephew are in day care and it's been great for them- they are well-adjusted, happy kids. I know my SIL has felt bad, but she and her DH more than make up for it on weekends and vacations- those kids get lots of quality time with their parents.

Message edited 8/1/2006 2:24:02 PM.

Posted 8/1/06 2:23 PM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

I am also in the same boat.
I am not worried what they say unless they want to watch the baby for me.
Everyone knows I got my degree to use it so thats what I plan to do. I only work m-f 8-4...37.5 hrs away per week is not going to killy my bond with my baby and if my baby gets exposed to other people, children, babies how great is that.

Posted 8/1/06 2:36 PM
 

amarto
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

908 total posts

Name:
Allison

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

I'm not pg yet, but when we do have a baby, he/she will be going to day care at around the same age and already people have been making comments about it. This is how things are now- we can't afford to have someone stay home and our families work.

As the other posters have said, day care is a good thing and you shouldn't feel at all guilty- and don't listen to those meanies!!

Posted 8/1/06 2:39 PM
 

SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?

Member since 7/06

8069 total posts

Name:
Susan

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

I'm so sorry people are making you feel bad about this. You know what's best for you and your family. I have heard wonderful things about daycare. Both my sister and SIL used daycare for my nieces and nephews and they are very happy, well adjusted, healthy children. Try not to let them get to you. Everything will be fine!!!

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Posted 8/1/06 2:44 PM
 

angelbear217
Mommy of 2

Member since 5/05

4313 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

You need to do what is right for your family. I am in the same situation, no family in the area and will have to put my child in day care.. i have also worked in both at home and facility day care so I know how beneficial it is. We are choosing an at home day care only because I have seen it first hand and you child gets more attention because the numbers are allowed to be smaller. Unless people want to pay you to stay at home, don't let their opinions get to you.

Posted 8/1/06 2:50 PM
 

Charly
LOVE!

Member since 5/05

12578 total posts

Name:

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Thanks ladies!!

I truly believe day care is benefical - however I wish I could stay home until she at least 1, but I can't. I'm thinking about eventually switching jobs so I could work 3 days a week and be home 2. We'll see - depends on pay and stability!! We need the roof over our head!!!

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Posted 8/1/06 2:55 PM
 

bethsiar
LIF Adult

Member since 9/05

1390 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

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People KNOW we feel guilty, why do they have to make it worse?

My grandma was just doing that this weekend!

Posted 8/1/06 3:17 PM
 

GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!

Member since 7/05

21138 total posts

Name:
Genna

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

I have to put my baby in daycare at 12 weeks also...dont feel bad...everybody has a comment Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 8/1/06 3:45 PM
 

pmpkn087
Life is good...

Member since 9/05

18504 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

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I'm sorry that people do this to you. It is appaling what some people say to make others feel bad. Chat Icon

To answer your question, NO, daycare is not that bad. I don't think it's bad at all. I have to leave my baby at 14 weeks with someone. I can't afford to stay home and now a days, here in the city, who can?

Posted 8/1/06 3:49 PM
 

lipglossjunky73
My Everything!

Member since 11/05

35670 total posts

Name:
<3

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

You know what, I would tell them - unless YOU want to watch my child, mind your own business! Chat Icon

Posted 8/1/06 4:58 PM
 

FeliciaDP

Member since 5/05

18599 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

Jodi, you are going to be a fabulous mommy .. don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for the decisions you are making towards the care and well being for your baby ..

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Posted 8/1/06 5:01 PM
 

ddunne2
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

4189 total posts

Name:
Doreen

Re: Why do people have to make me feel bad

NO matter what you do someone will be in support of it and someone will be against it. You just have to close your ears and do what you know is best for you, your baby and the well being of your family.

I am going to put Jack in a two day a week program starting in September from 9-11:30 am Monday's and Wednesdays and my mom has hinted that he is too little! Um hello, I am having another baby in October and I work from home 20 hours a week. I think 5 hours to without a toddler and just a newborn will not hurt anyone. Plus I think he will love it!

Posted 8/1/06 6:23 PM
 
 

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