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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Why does this suck so bad...
We have been together forever. I always said I would love to have 10 kids now I just would love to be able to have 1. Four years of marriage. The pregnancy that came at a not so great time that resulted in the misscarriage that I now Struggle with for thinking how it wasn't the perfect time. The stress.
It doesn't really bother me to much when people ask but I do get upset when my DH points and says "ask her" like I don't want to have kids. I know this is what he thinks. I don't ovulate it's not my fault. Yes it is my fault that I don't go to the dr. and get help but just thinking about it stresses me out.
The reading I do online about Clomid that gives me a little hope but then you read it's only effective in 40%
of patients am I ready for the let down if I am not the 40%. Am I ready to go on with all the other treatmants. I think I got pregnant once so that is a good sign but then you read about the people who are having difficulty with the 2nd pregnancy.
Please don't think badly of my DH. He is awesome and I am so in love with him. I just think he is stressed out to
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Posted 4/9/08 2:47 PM  |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Please know you did nothing to cause your miscarriage. It was not your fault.
I think you need to take one thing at a time here.
First try to find the courage to go see a doctor. If clomid is the right treatment for you, then deal with that at the time. Clomid is successful for many women. Don't even think about what if clomid doesn't work right now.
I have found I need to take one step at a time, only look at one part of this journey at a time. If I try to think of too much at once, or of all the "what ifs" I will drive myself crazy, and its too scary to think about all at once.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for. 
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| Posted 4/9/08 2:54 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
I wanted to send you some hugs.
Lord knows it's never easy. If I were you, I would stop thinking about the what ifs and the %s and just get yourself checked out and have your Dr. assess what's going on with you.
Like you said, you did get pregnant before, so who knows.
I wish you all the best. 
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| Posted 4/9/08 2:55 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Thanks guys
Well I do have PCOS. The dr. recomended Clomid for me a while back but we weren't ready at the time.
Message edited 4/9/2008 2:58:12 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/08 2:57 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Posted by SweetTooth
Please know you did nothing to cause your miscarriage. It was not your fault.
I think you need to take one thing at a time here.
First try to find the courage to go see a doctor. If clomid is the right treatment for you, then deal with that at the time. Clomid is successful for many women. Don't even think about what if clomid doesn't work right now.
I have found I need to take one step at a time, only look at one part of this journey at a time. If I try to think of too much at once, or of all the "what ifs" I will drive myself crazy, and its too scary to think about all at once.
I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
ITA with everything Lauren said. Take it from me, going to the doctor for me was a HUGE scary step as I always had this diblitating fear of doctors. I also wasn't sure how far I was going to be able to go to get pregnant, and only 6 months ago, told my husband if IUI didn't work, we needed to talk because I didn't think I could handle IVF and all that comes with it. Well, here I am one IVF down and waiting to start another one. Take it slowly and one step at a time. Do what you feel comfortable with on your own time.
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| Posted 4/9/08 2:58 PM |
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LuckySV
LIF Adult
Member since 10/05 4675 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.
Try to find the courage to at least go for a consultation with a doctor. The answers you get may be comforting, at least you'll know. I understand how difficult it is to get past the anxiety but keep working on it. It's hard to deal with but it gets a little easier, esp knowing you are not alone.
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| Posted 4/9/08 3:02 PM |
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LuckySV
LIF Adult
Member since 10/05 4675 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Also, wanted to add go at your own pace. You'll know when you're ready.
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| Posted 4/9/08 3:03 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
I'm sorry. We'll be married 4 years in a month, and have been together for 11- so I can totally relate to how you feel! It literally hurts me when I hear about ppl that just got married getting pg, b/c I feel like 'it's my turn, i was married first' - I don't know if that's the right way to feel or not, but it's how I feel. 
If you post where you live maybe one of our fellow IFers could post who they see that is near your home and maybe you and DH can just go in together for a consult and see what the dr thinks your next step should be.
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| Posted 4/9/08 3:28 PM |
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ILJ619
LIF Adult
Member since 6/06 1985 total posts
Name:
Irene
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
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| Posted 4/9/08 5:00 PM |
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Carolyn
.....
Member since 5/07 5351 total posts
Name:
Twin mommy
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
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| Posted 4/9/08 5:03 PM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
TAking that first step to see a RE is the hardest part. But once you do, you will find it to be so empowering! Only you will know when you are ready to see a doctor.
We are here to support you every the step of the way both emotionally and/or for information.
I honestly do not know where I'll be without the wonderful girls on this board!
 
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| Posted 4/9/08 7:48 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Anytime you need to talk I am here for you
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| Posted 4/9/08 7:50 PM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Posted by Moehick
Anytime you need to talk I am here for you
Ditto, if you need any information, please let me know.
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| Posted 4/9/08 8:15 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
I just want you to know, you have to what is right for you when it is right.
I never wanted children until I met and married DH. Then I said I wouldn't do IVF to have a baby, if it came to that we just wouldn't have children.
After what we have gone through in the last two years - I'll never say never again....the roller coaster ride, the hospital stays, the emotional toll....was it worth it? I'm still not sure, but I do know that you will know what is right for you at the time.
When I didn't get PG with Clomid, I moved to an RE, then a different RE until I was happy with my Dr.
Trust your gut and don't blame yourself - those are the two most important things in this journey.
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| Posted 4/9/08 9:25 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Are you ready now?
Scary thing is, if you have any sembelance of a problem, sometimes you have to go for the kids sooner rather then when timing is optimal because of that.
Its not what people may want to do, but its better then five yrs from now cursing yourself for not doing it.
I would see an RE. Theres NO REASON why you have to ever go back, go for treatment etc...but you will have sound medical advice regarding your situation to go forward with KWIM?
And Men...they just dont get it. Hes trying to protect you it sounds like.
Good luck!!
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| Posted 4/9/08 9:42 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
You have to go at your own pace. I know for myself, experiencing secondary infertility, I'm now kicking myself for not taking this more seriously in the beginning and wasting so much time. But, at the same time, it was a huge leap for me, emotionally and mentally, to see an RE, particularly because I had conceived my daughter so easily.
And, when I finally got a diagnosis - I felt blindsided.
But, once I moved through the shock and disappointment, to optimism that we were going to attack these problems head on with the expertise of my RE, I started to feel better. I had a game plan, a plan of attack.
I came into this process thinking "I'll never do an IUI... I'll never do IVF" - and OMG, did it sting and take me back when the RE suggested IUI for the first time. Dh and I weren't ready so we tried naturally 2 more cycles.
But then we were ready.
Just know you have a tremendous support system in your DH, and with the ladies on here, for when you do feel ready to take that next step
Message edited 4/10/2008 8:09:18 AM.
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| Posted 4/10/08 8:08 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
I just joined this board yesterday after a lot of kicking & screaming on my own part. You definately need to do things at your own pace & no matter how badly you want a baby, you have to know what is right for yourself. I had suspected something was not right with us after about 7 months of nothing happening but DH had the attitude that I was stressing out about it. He thought it would happen. It took a lot of convincing & my OB finally saying "enough is enough" you need to get a SA & do some tests on your DH.
DH finally agreed after 11 months & low & behold, we have Male IF issues going on. I am waitin to make an appt for some tests for DH that the Fertility Urologist recommended but I am scared. Emotionally & mentally I was not ready to take the next step until this month. Now that i have the results in my hands, I am still scared & cried uncontrollably last night  but I know that we are ready.
When you feel you are ready, then go see a RE & get yourself on track to having a baby. It will happen, you just have to believe.
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| Posted 4/10/08 8:16 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Oh Juney
I'm always here if you need to talk... take this at your own pace and you'll know when you want to move forward in this process..
The girls on this board gave you excellent advice and they are a great support system so never feel you are alone in this, because you aren't 
Message edited 4/10/2008 9:47:37 AM.
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| Posted 4/10/08 9:46 AM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
It took me a year to get to an RE. Its a scary step, but when you're ready, it will be worth it.
I wish you lots of success
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| Posted 4/10/08 10:01 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Why does this suck so bad...
Juney
I have to agree with the above posters - they have given wonderful advice.
And I am here any time you need or want to talk
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| Posted 4/10/08 10:31 AM |
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