Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I am having the biggest anxiety attack i have ever ahd in my life..

I have this overwhelming amount of fear right now that this is not really happening to me .. I have had my 2 beta's 1st 127 2nd 290... I was so happy everything was great.. i have my first sono on Monday to see the sac(s) I did IVF 2 eggs were put in .. i have had 2 m/c with IUI.. 2 prior IVF failed cycles..

The embryo's were grade 1 so that was a great sign but now I keep thinking that this is going to go away.. I cant even enjoy this for a second.. I feel i may even get to 8 weeks, 11 weeks, Then there will be no more baby.. I dont think i can handle this.. I cant even start my day today..

My faith in God is usually strong but he has taken 2 babies from me already and I feel he may do this again.. For reasons he only knows.. I cant believe how i am freaking out today.. is this common??

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I wish there was something i could write that would put you @ ease, but i know that after going through pretty similar situations i still have the same concerns/ fears. I'll be 19 weeks Monday and i am still very skeptical @ times that this baby will come to friuition. I just keep telling myself that this was the only "smooth" IVF cycle and that everything went according to plan, so this was meant to be!! I hope this helps a little to know that you are not alone or odd in your thinking, i look @ it as we are trying to buffer ourselves for whatever comes our way.. HTH

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I wish I had magic words for you, but I can only tell you that I totally understand your feelings and I have still have them today at 28 weeks.

as a great friend told me, the worrying never stops - you're a mom now

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

Posted by Donna

I wish I had magic words for you, but I can only tell you that I totally understand your feelings and I have still have them today at 28 weeks.

as a great friend told me, the worrying never stops - you're a mom now

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I haven't had any m/c's but I did have two failed IVF attempts and am a bit older so I do have some anxiety over everything going right.

Especially going thru IVF - everything was a step. Responding to the med's well was a step, retrieval was a step, waiting for the fert report was a step, the transfer was a step, the beta was a step, the 2nd beta was a step, the first u/s was a step, seeing the heartbeat was a step, hearing the heartbeat was a step, being released to my ob/gyn was a step, the ultrascreen was a step.

So with each step I go through I feel better. And with every day that goes by without incident is a huge step.

You are not alone! Deep breath and positive thoughts.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I'm really early on also and have a significant fear that it's all going to go away. I find out my Beta scores on Monday so I don't even have confirmation yet that everything is okay. So at least you have that to keep your head up now.
I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to go through two miscarriages. But everything seems to be going well for you now so you need to try and focus on that...the positive. Believe me, I know that's easier said than done. I hope you're able to find peace through all of this soon.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I was a nervous wreck too--until I realized that the viability of this pregnancy was completely out of my control. Once I started to relax (not until about 15 weeks) I felt so much better--but I know that's hard to do.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I am a graduate from the IF boards (after 5 IUI cycles, two of which ended in m/c's) and the PG boards.

With each and every week that goes by, your fears will decrease. They will ALWAYS be there, but they will decrease. Try not to look at the big picture as 9 months, but for now, day to day and then week to week. It is very hard to enjoy in the beginning, but after all of your testing comes back in your favor, the relief starts to set in.

Now as the mother of a newborn, I can tell you that your PG worries will shift to parental ones.

Hang in there!!!

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I understand how you feel. I am still so nervous about everything, and I'm 27 weeks. The first 12 weeks were torture. Once I got past the 1st trimester, I was able to relax a little- but I only mean a little. I constantly worry something is going to go wrong.

With all we have gone through to get here, it is perfectly normal and understandable. All you can do is take it one day, one week, one month at a time.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I really felt a lot better after the first trimester. Even still, I worried. Then I started feeling the baby at around 17 weeks and that REALLY helped me.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I don't think theres much I can say to ease your fears, but I can tell you that I'm coming from a place where I thought I woudln't be able to get pregnant and it took more than 1 cycle for it to happen for me. Try and keep a positive mind, because nothing good can come from being negative. At almost 27 weeks I still have fears of what could go wrong but I try to say to myself I can only keep positive and pray for the best outcome. Good lucka nd I hope everything will turn out beautifully this time! Keep a positive outlook!!!
XOXOXO
BOTB

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

Thank you so much each and everyone of you!!

I am trying not to think about anything right now..

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

i had 4 losses before this pregnancy. You have no idea what a wreck I was in the beginning. I just turned 30 weeks yesterday and am finally staring to realize that I am going to be a MOM! There really is no good advice to give. I am not a religious person but if you are I would pray and do some positive visualizations. I used Anjionline's pregnancy meditations through my first tri and it helped a lot. Once you feel the baby moving you will feel better. I feel them moving all the time now but I still haven't returned my doppler(I only use it about 1X a week now as opposed to every day up until 21 weeks(when I first felt them) if you have no bleeding you are probably fine-and even if you do, You are probably fine-I did and IVF pregnancies tend to have more chances for bleeding. Good luck!

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I know how you feel. I have had a m/c and when through IF. The only thing that has been making it easier is passing each milestone... Beta doubling, seeing the heartbeat, hearing the heartbeat. Actually last week was the first time I really let myself believe this was all real. I wouldn't even let DH touch my tummy yet. But last week, when we heard the heartbeat.. I relaxed.

so I think it takes time. I have no real advice. I know how hard this is and I know how hard it is to relax.

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

I responded to your FM.

It is difficult to enjoy the pregnancy after all that we have been through. I'll admit that it is difficult the first trimester. But, it does get easier. I don't think I'll ever stop worrying though.

You're not alone!

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

First off, congrats and welcome! I am from the IF board and got PG following IVF #1. It's totally normal to feel on edge in the beginning. I promise it gets better after each passing week. I am 12 weeks now and finally feel like I can relax and settle in for the long haul. Best of luck and congrats again!

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

Posted by juju

I responded to your FM.

It is difficult to enjoy the pregnancy after all that we have been through. I'll admit that it is difficult the first trimester. But, it does get easier. I don't think I'll ever stop worrying though.

You're not alone!

Re: Woman who came here from the Infertility Board..

Diana, I haven't had any losses but I think just the struggle that it took to get all of us here it what makes it that much more nerve wracking. Getting through the first 2 weeks to the sono were very tough and then getting to week 8 and every week there after...it all feels like a milestone. With every week though it seems more and more real. Try and stay positive and welcome to the PG board!