Working Mom not happy moment

So, its enormous guilt being a working mom. Also, being the bread winner, my DH is home with my DS during the weekdays.

So, last night, when my mom brought him to my place at night when I get home, I got to pick him up and cuddle and he runs over to my mom and wants her to hold him. He did this twice.

Its upsetting because I know he doesn't get too much mommy-son time (trust me, I try and soak it all in on the weekends).

Plus, he babbles all day long, but still no "mama". This breaks my heart!!

Please tell me that maybe one day he'll want his mommy!!! One day he'll want to cuddle with me.

I know I pushed him to be independant (I'm not always the warm & fuzzy type) but its heart wrenching sometimes. Especially when he doesn't cry when I leave.

Editted, Liam is 15 months though

Message edited 4/13/2010 11:15:30 AM.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

Kaydyn is not a cuddler and did not say mama until 15 months. But she would still get excited when I would walk in at the end of the day. It's a phase...he loves his mommy don't worry.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

Believe me... I know how you feel!! I'm not getting any "mama" at all either. Everything is dada. Sometimes he says it to DH and sometimes he says it to everything.

I do like working, but sometimes it does break my heart to leave him at daycare. I soak up all the mommy and Mason time I can get from picking him up at daycare till I put him in the crib at night. He also has a very special relationship with my MIL (which I like and sometimes kills me). She lives very close and my mom is further away. She spends a lot of time with him when she can and he goes over to her and gets so excited to see her.
Today was the worst. I dropped him off crying and he never cries. Usually I put him down on the mat and he goes crawling to his fav toys at school or goes to his friends.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

there is nothing easy about being a FTWM!! Im sure it's a phase.. you are mommy....they know it!!!

Message edited 4/13/2010 11:19:15 AM.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

I assure you it is a phase. DS would go through periods like this with both DH & I and it would rip my heart out. But now I know many times, it can be followed by a week of wanting nothing BUT mommy so I try not to let it get to me as much

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

I'm not sure if limiting affection teaches them independence...definitely try to cuddle more and give him more affection. Set your evening routine so that it is you and him only...try to give him a bath and read books to him before bed time. That may help...

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

I wouldn't worry about it, kids are just drawn to their grandparents.

We see my inlaws several times a year and go months between seeing them. Whenever they are here, DD could care less about me and wants only my MIL. ANy other time, DD is stuck to me like glue. I think it is just natural.

ETS: I would cuddle up with him whenever you get the chance. They are only mushy for a short period of time and I would take it while you can get it

Message edited 4/13/2010 11:27:07 AM.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

I'll show you the other side of the coin. Ronan is attached to me like glue. If I am around he really doe snot want anyone else. If my DH gets him up from a nap he practically dives out of his arms to get to me. It is really hard sometimes and I never get a break!

Declan on the other hand is usually liek Liam-totally independent, does his won thing, will go to anyone etc. Don't worry about it now. He does know you're his Mom!

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

Posted by MST9106

I'm not sure if limiting affection teaches them independence...definitely try to cuddle more and give him more affection. Set your evening routine so that it is you and him only...try to give him a bath and read books to him before bed time. That may help...

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

It's just a phase!!!

i went through this with DS when he was around the same age. My mom watches him and when I used to pick him up after work, he would cling to my mom and cry when I went near him.

Now, he is a complete and utter momma's boy. He adores me like noone else, and his eyes light up when I come home.

He smothers me in hugs and kisses and only wants me to put him to bed.

They definitely go through their phases when they prefer one parent over another, or grandma, or even the babysitter, but at the end of the day, you will always be mommy!!

It will pass.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

thanks everyone. It breaks my heart so much. I hope its a phase!!!

Everyone compliments my son on how he'll go to anybody and everybody. I guess its a good thing, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish he wanted his mommy.

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They go through phases. Just the other day, DH said, Mommy's home, go hug and kiss her and DS said No! Walked away from me and sulked. I mean DRAMA.

Sometimes they are just finicky. It's the age.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

If it makes your feel any better, I am home all day with them and neither of them say "mama." You ask them where's mommy and they look around in confusion. Or DD will point to her chest.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

My 17 month old just started saying, "Mama"- and that's not consistent (but has been calling DH Daddy for some time ). She also wants my DH over me all the time as well. When it's all said and done though- I'm her Mommy and sooner or later I'll start winning out. We went through the same with my eldest- and I eventually won that battle. Now my older DD is practically my shadow.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

i worry about that too. i sometimes wonder if he's going to think the daycare teacher is his mommy!! but im the one he sees in the morning to change him and im the only who bathes, reads and feeds him before going to bed. so i hope he realizes im the mommy.

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oh you just wait!!!!

I work FT and my husband takes care of our son for the most part during the week.

Jacen is almost 22 months and he's ALL mommy ALL the time.

He goes through phases for the most part, but i think as he's gotten older... he's gotten worse in how attached he can be to mommy. Which can be quite at times!

So try not to take it personally. Pretty soon you'll wish that he liked someone else a bit more and that you had a minute to do something/anything.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

ditto dear.. ditto

Breadwinner and working mom here too. Hubby works too but AJ just loves him more, or lets say differently, right now than me.

She's 20mo and still doesnt say Mama.
She'll run to Jim first.. as in running right BY me to get to him
She screams like I'm kidnapping her, if I decide to carry her to the car.
She'll bend so far over to reach for him that she's pulling herself OUT of my arms

Yeah not feeling love most days.. but when she's quite and sleepy she's so cute and peaceful. I still love her. Somehow, some way, I know she loves me too, just differently right now.

Time work it out. I figure I spend this time just loving her and later she'll show me her love in her own way. I have all her life to wait on her to show me her love but she has only so much time of mine so that I can show her how much I love her, so I spend as much time as I can doing that, even if it is to a sleeping child or non caring one! ha!


ETA: I think at one point she referred to me as "hey you". and if you say "give this to daddy" she runs to Jim.. you say "give this to mommy" and she looks around as if she doesn't know who 'mommy' is. *sigh*

Message edited 4/13/2010 9:06:41 PM.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

My DH is with my son a lot during the day too(or with my mom) and all he says all day is dada. I just keep telling myself that I'll get my turn. It breaks your heart though.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

Struggling with enormous working mom guilt. DS is 6 months and I swear he doesn't know who I am. DH gets massive smiles and I get nothing.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

I hear ya. It sucks.

Re: Working Mom not happy moment

At 15 mts old Cailen still called me "Dada"

Around his 2nd bday, he became surgically implanted to my a s s and has yet to separate himself. He is the world's biggest mama's boy!