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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Please do not quote me as I will be deleting this soon...Some of my DH's family lurks on this site and do not want them to see it.
DH has a relative that he is not close with, never sees, and really just doesn't like. He and his fiancee have not come to a single one of our life events ( Bridal Shower, Wedding, Son's Baptism, etc) he never sends a card or gift either. We are fine with this but we believe in an eye for an eye type thing. We just treat others the way they treat us.
I got an invitation in the mail for the Fiancee of this relatives bridal shower. Mind you they have been dating for years and DH and I have only met her once.
I RSVP'd no and wrote a nice note explaining I had a previous engagement but to give the bride my best wishes and love, etc.
I just got a TY card in the mail from this relatives fiancee thanking me for my gift 
I found out that my MIL ( who knows how we feel about this couple and agrees with us) RE-GIFTED one of my SIL's old shower gifts that she didn't like, bought a card and signed my name to it!!!!!
I am furious!! Am I wrong? 
Message edited 7/8/2006 4:42:58 PM.
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Posted 7/8/06 4:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
IGLover
Y'all come back now, ya hear!!
Member since 9/05 2361 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
omg, I would be LIVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How dare she.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:39 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Thank you!! 
I am sure she will do the same when I RSVP no to the wedding invitation  
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:40 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I don't think i would be furious...
i really don't think i would care...I didn't pay for the gift...so....
actually i might find it a little funny
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:40 PM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
LOL--That is actually funny. But, your MIL certainly should have let you in on her plan first!!!
Maybe your MIL was just trying to do the right thing.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:40 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by Redhead
I don't think i would be furious...
i really don't think i would care...I didn't pay for the gift...so....
actually i might find it a little funny
It is not about paying for the gift. I am mad b/c these people for years have ignored our life celebrations and my MIL knew how I felt about them never coming to any event, sending a card, or even acknowledging they took place. Why should they get a gift and card they think is from us??
The only part I find funny is that it was probably a very ugly tacky gift that the bride will toss or regift herself.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:46 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I would be annoyed...Why does she have to give a gift for you at all? She may want to do the right thing, but these people never did the "right thing" for you...
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:46 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by Stefanie
I would be annoyed...Why does she have to give a gift for you at all? She may want to do the right thing, but these people never did the "right thing" for you...
That is exactly it!! and now it actually will look worse when they think we sent a gift for the shower and when the wedding, baby shower, baptisms, etc. come up and I don't send anything they will wonder why I sent to one occasion and not the rest 
I have NO idea why my MIL did it.. she never even told me she did it!!! I have not spoken to her yet since getting the TY today in the mail.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:48 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I would ask your MIL why she did that when she knows the history of these people.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:49 PM |
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jenny
L O V E
Member since 4/06 2784 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I am sure you MIL just did it to keep the peace in the family. Should you be mad - I guess I would be annoyed.
Maybe you and/or DH could talk to MIL and tell her the real reason why you don't want to go and didn't want to send a gift. Your wishes/reasons for not sending a gift should still be respected.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:49 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by jenny
I am sure you MIL just did it to keep the peace in the family. Should you be mad - I guess I would be annoyed.
Maybe you and/or DH could talk to MIL and tell her the real reason why you don't want to go and didn't want to send a gift. Your wishes/reasons for not sending a gift should still be respected.
Thank you. My MIL knows the reason I did not attend and knows the situation with them not coming to our events, and has always agreed and understood with how we felt.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:51 PM |
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giggles
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 584 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by KristenNYC
omg, I would be LIVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How dare she.
I'd be FURIOUS too - what nerve!
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:53 PM |
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jenny
L O V E
Member since 4/06 2784 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by MABLE03
Posted by jenny
I am sure you MIL just did it to keep the peace in the family. Should you be mad - I guess I would be annoyed.
Maybe you and/or DH could talk to MIL and tell her the real reason why you don't want to go and didn't want to send a gift. Your wishes/reasons for not sending a gift should still be respected.
Thank you. My MIL knows the reason I did not attend and knows the situation with them not coming to our events, and has always agreed and understood with how we felt.
Then I would ask her (or have DH ask) why she did this. I would be very curious.
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:53 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I would be annoyed.
I was in a similar situation and was really annoyed about it. Whether she thought it was the "right thing or not", your MIL should have stayed out of it!
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:58 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
i think its hilarious personally
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| Posted 7/8/06 4:58 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
i would be annoyed as well. what rigth does she have to "represent" you?
but i thin i'd see teh humor in it as well.
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| Posted 7/8/06 5:01 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
What's up with MIL this week???? Stay out of it!!!!
I do like that she re-gifted however- nice touch- I hope it was something yucky.
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| Posted 7/8/06 5:05 PM |
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Freddie
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1162 total posts
Name:
Freddie
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
I'm not a fan of the "eye for an eye" philosophy, so I wouldn't be annoyed.
i think alot of times people when they are young and haven't gone through all the motions, don't understand alot of the giftgiving and celebration festivities.
I think back to my cousin's (whom I am close with) daughter's baptism and am upset with myself for not giving a gift, b/c I was out of town. At the time, I was under the impression that a gift was for going to the event, but realize now that I should have sent a gift. I tend to spoil her daughter now to make up for it.
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| Posted 7/8/06 5:29 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Would you be annoyed or am I over reacting?
Posted by Ricki
I'm not a fan of the "eye for an eye" philosophy, so I wouldn't be annoyed.
i think alot of times people when they are young and haven't gone through all the motions, don't understand alot of the giftgiving and celebration festivities.
I think back to my cousin's (whom I am close with) daughter's baptism and am upset with myself for not giving a gift, b/c I was out of town. At the time, I was under the impression that a gift was for going to the event, but realize now that I should have sent a gift. I tend to spoil her daughter now to make up for it.
Normally I would agree and we take things like tht into consideration but these people are actually older then us, and have plenty of brothers and sisters who have been there done that and kind of know how this stuff works.
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| Posted 7/8/06 5:33 PM |
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