Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

DS's birthday is in June and he will be turning 1. I was thinking of just having it in the backyard to cut some costs. With just family it's about 38 people. I'm the first of all my friends to have a baby and they bought him Christmas gifts etc. Would you be upset if i didn't invite you to his first birthday? Would you kind of expect an invite?

Some more background: we had only family at his christening but some of my friends still got him a gift. Also, DH already has 2 kids from a previous relationship and all his good friends have kids. It's been hit or miss when it comes to his friends and being invited to kids parties/events

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I might be offended bc if it's at ur house it seems like there's more room for extra people. I would not be offended if it was a kiddie party like gymboree. I personally always invite the friends that bring ds gifts for xmas etc- not bc of the presents but bc it just shows that they have an interest. I feel like it shows they go out of the way to be a part of my kids' life.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

No. I would not be offended at all. Between DH and I, we have 5,890,765 friends and are constantly going to events so I would actually be thrilled to not have to go. Especially in the summer.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I wouldn't even give it a second thought if I wasn't invited. But that's just my opinion.
I have such a big family that I rarely invite friends to things.
I think most people understand it costs $ to feed people & once you invite a few friends it's hard to draw the line of where to stop.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I wouldn't even think anything about it.

For DD's first party in my back yard it was family only, I invited ONE friend and I still had over 40 people!

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I would only be offended if I found out ypu had invited other friends and not me. We have a lot of good friends with young kids and have only been invited to one first birthday party. The others were family only.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

i wouldnt bc obviously there is a reason. I am having a small family partyfor my daughter's first at my house with just family and Godparerents. There will be 35 people in my house next Sunday. I wish I could invite all, but i just cannot. The same thing happened with my son's 3rd birthday. We kept it small, but worried about the weather and whether it would have to be inside.

Message edited 1/12/2012 7:04:51 AM.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

IF it's a family only party then no, I would not be offended and would still probably buy a gift. If it's a mix of friends and family and I wasn't invited then yes, I would be hurt.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I wouldn't be... but when we had my DD's first birthday and didn't invite friends, all sorts of drama erupted. They were ticked.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

because you're not having any friends and just family...i wouldn't be offended.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

nope i wouldnt. My one friend has two kids i have not been invited to any birthdays or christening. I know she has a huge family and sometimes has to host 2 different parties for the same event. Never offended never cared, sometimes she gives me a heads up that im not invited and she apoligizes and tell her not to worry about, cause really do i need to be invited to a kids party esp. when i have no kids so whats the point, even if i did i wouldnt mind at all.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

Definitely not. Doesn't matter if it's at your house or at a hall, parties are expensive and you can't invite everyone you know. We were planning to do family only (65 people-we have large families) for DD's christening and then again for her 1st birthday, but then we ended up adding some close friends. In hindsight, I wish I stuck to my original plan. It gets out of control and suddenly you're inviting so and so because you don't want them to feel left out. If you tell your friends that you're just doing family, I'm sure they will understand.

Message edited 1/12/2012 2:24:25 PM.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I wouldn't. I would understand. You could always explain to them.

What we did for her Christening (because we have huge families) is only invited our really close friends, but it adds up (80 people!) So I understand limiting it to family only.

I would not be mad at all.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I would not be offended. We have such a big immediate family , we never invite friends. For our kids bday parties it's been family only, so I would think nothing of it

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I wouldn't be offended. I posted something a little similar, although not 1st bday related. I am trying to "skim down" the inviting on non-kid adults...it personally gets to be way to much.

For religous occassions & a 1st bday I'd invite everyone but thats IT!!! It gets to be way too much!!!

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

I think you should explain to your closest friends that you are having a party and it's family only to save money and what not.

If it wasn't explained to me and I just didn't receive an invite, I may be offended.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

No.

My BFF had about I guess 30 people at her DD's first birthday and that was just immediate family. She didn't know where to draw the line with friends so she just didn't have any and I was fine with it. I actually made her DD's birthday invite.

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

For my ds's 1st I will be having family and my 2 best friends in my home. There will only be 4 kids but I'm fine with that being he really doesn't understand at this stage. Plus we'll have a little cake for him at his sisters kid-party ( same month). That being said, I have friends that have huge 1st birthday parties that will not understand and will most likely be offended. I feel a little bad about it, but I have to do what's right for my family. There comes a point where you have to stop worrying about everyone else's thoughts and feelings. I know it sounds harsh but you can't please everyone all the time!!!

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

knowing my friends, they probably would get over it. knowing me, i'd be upset.
if your friends are really a part of your DS's life, how about having a bbq at your house the following week? nothing formal, just hot dogs and hamburgers kind of thing.

when we were planning DS's first bithday, we were going to have a party for each of the families and then a third one just for the friends. most of them did not have kids, but are important to us so they deserved to be involved in the celebration

Re: Would you be mad/offended if you weren't invited to your friends baby's 1st bday?

IMHO...a friend that would be offended is not really a friend. You obviously had a reason. I mean really...if I invited everyone for every event, we might as welll have a wedding for every event.

Message edited 1/12/2012 2:52:26 PM.