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JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I'd want him to go. Even though i'd miss him terribly.. i'd be proud of what his work could do over there. you could celebrate your sons first bday when he returns.. (your son would never know the difference!!)
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Posted 1/15/10 10:28 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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KartveliT
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Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
No (unless it was for 2 weeks or so)
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| Posted 1/15/10 10:29 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I would want my DH to follow his heart and do what he wants. In this situation what I want is irrelevant.
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| Posted 1/15/10 10:50 PM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Dr Gupta's reporting right now about security concerns at hospitals (doctors and nurses are LEAVING due to the situation). I would not want DH to go right NOW (but I know the need is urgent in these early days :( of course), but once security gets ramped up and we had a reasonable comfort level with his physical safety (hopefully imminently) I'd be ok with it; the first birthday wouldn't bother me as pps have said we'd celebrate when he's back. But I wouldn't gallantly watch him get on a plane into such a dangerous situation right this moment...
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| Posted 1/15/10 11:14 PM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7537 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by eddiesmommy
Id be OK for the entire 3 months....if it means a mothers arm could be saved so she can hold her child, or a child leg is saved so he can run around again one day....Id suck it up for 3 months, if though Id miss him and it would be hard back home. Id be willing to sacrifice 3 months of my time for the greater good. Those poor people need all the help they can gte.
ITA. And that isn't what my answer would've been last year. My DH joined the Reserves and was gone for 6 months for training. I delivered DS without him and was alone with a newborn. Was it sad? Absolutely, but I know he is doing the "right" thing by serving. I can't be that selfish to think that it should be someone else's husband, someone else's son to go serve.
I think your DH is in a position to change the lives of some people for the better and should act on it. 3 months will go incredibly fast, and you and your DS are a lot stronger than you give yourselves credit for.
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| Posted 1/15/10 11:36 PM |
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I'd ask him what he really, really wants to do. As a surgeon, he may just feel he needs a few months away from work or he may just feel that this is a chance to give in ways that he might not get to every day.
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| Posted 1/15/10 11:54 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by pixie
Nope. I need him to be here or Id miss him like crazy. Im selfish.
ITA. 
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| Posted 1/15/10 11:54 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
My husband was actually offered an opportunity to go, but I said no way , forget it. I am sorry, but I need and want him here with my kids. I am selfish I know, but its not happening!
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| Posted 1/16/10 12:10 AM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by twicethefun
My husband was actually offered an opportunity to go, but I said no way , forget it. I am sorry, but I need and want him here with my kids. I am selfish I know, but its not happening!
I *really* don't consider anyone who replied no "selfish" in the least  . Choosing to go is a WONDERFUL thing, but choosing not to does not make anyone selfish. We all do what we can, be it donating, sending supplies, in many cases simple prayers are all that can be sent; at the other end of the spectrum some will head there to help, other families adopt children out of this tragedy, etc.
While doing anything is compassionate, no one can judge anyone else's contribution.
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| Posted 1/16/10 12:18 AM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by colette
Posted by twicethefun
My husband was actually offered an opportunity to go, but I said no way , forget it. I am sorry, but I need and want him here with my kids. I am selfish I know, but its not happening!
I *really* don't consider anyone who replied no "selfish" in the least . Choosing to go is a WONDERFUL thing, but choosing not to does not make anyone selfish. We all do what we can, be it donating, sending supplies, in many cases simple prayers are all that can be sent; at the other end of the spectrum some will head there to help, other families adopt children out of this tragedy, etc.
While doing anything is compassionate, no one can judge anyone else's contribution.
Well put Colette!
This is a really tough one, and there is no right answer. If I were in your shoes, part of me would be saying "Absolutely, go, help save these people in desperate need - I wish I could join you!" and the other part of me would be scared for his safety and worried about spending 3 months without him.
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| Posted 1/16/10 12:53 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Absolutely, without any question or doubt in my mind, NOPE!
With the security issues and crime going on down there... no freaking way. There was such turmoil before this, i can only imagine what it is like now that when the fight for survival mode kicks in.
No. No way.
To be honest, when it first happened, my initial instict was to consider going there. I mentioned it to DH, who automatically (and understandably) shot it down. I think its noble and natural to want to help, but for ME, this is something that needs to be decided with your head, not your heart.
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| Posted 1/16/10 4:32 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Absolutely!!! My DH was a carpenter and helped with the post-Katrina efforts. NO joke, probably the best most rewarding experience in his life.
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:23 AM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by prncsslehcar
No. I would absolutely NOT want him to go. But that being said, I would 100% encourage him to do it. Sometimes doing the right thing is just hard, but if it's the right thing, then it's the right thing.
Well said. This is exactly how I would feel.
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:26 AM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by prncsslehcar
No. I would absolutely NOT want him to go. But that being said, I would 100% encourage him to do it. Sometimes doing the right thing is just hard, but if it's the right thing, then it's the right thing.
ITA....I would'nt want him to go, but if he could do some help it would be great if he could!
Even though he has 3 months off he can just go for a few weeks or a month. Any help down there is soo needed and appreciated that even the littlest bit of help, helps them!
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:54 AM |
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vwebb85
I LOVE being a mom!!!
Member since 3/09 1463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by luckyinlove
I wouldn't want him to go, because I would miss him and worry like crazy, but it is an amazing, once in a lifetime thing to do and it would probably make him feel really goo about himself.
ITA but like she said its a once ina lifetime oppurtunity thing to do.
I told someone yesterday that if someone could take care of my bills and help DH with DS then I would totally go and volunteer.
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:24 AM |
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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Yes I would... That would be a great honor to have a gift that could save a life or lives. I know you will miss him but god I would be soo proud!
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:25 AM |
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LJSMommy
Love him!
Member since 10/07 3189 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by luvsun27
Posted by Bxgell2
Absolutely - of course you'll miss him, and it will be sad to miss your DS's first bday party, but think of the impact he can make on so many innocent lives. And, he will be giving your child an even greater gift in his absence - an incredible role model for a tremendous, selfless act of pure kindness
ITA. DS won't remember his first birthday party or whether DH was there or not. I think you have a pretty awesome DH who is willing to go and help 
I agree!
A coworkers wife was activated as part of DMORT (mortuary operations)....but had to turn it down only because she is pregnant....but she went to New Orleans for Hurricane Katrina. The impact ANY help has in those situations is so great!
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:45 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I agree with everyone!
I would NOT want him going... the disease that runs rampant, the violence, the crime, the danger. 
I think it would be great if he could go ... the help he could offer etc.
So I agree with both. Same for the time away.
I think at the end of the day I'd ask him to carefully consider all the consequences and weigh the sacrifices with the benefits. Then whatever decision he made.. no matter WHAT it was I could only support him. Id try to let him know I'd be proud of him and no matter what he decides we'll all be better for it.
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:59 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
that is truly amazing your DH is considering this. But no way would I want DH to go. safety is going to become a factor as people get more desperate. the country was a mess to begin with, imagine how it is now? I would have him stay home and take care of DC for the next 3 months where you know he is safe.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:00 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I would miss him like crazy & would worry for his safety but I believe my needs would not outweigh the needs of the other people in Haiti. His skill would be too life altering to another human being & families for me to say no.
That being said, my kids are older & I have a strong support system here.
Message edited 1/16/2010 10:34:15 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:00 AM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
It would be hard, but if he wanted to, I would let him.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:03 AM |
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
tough decision. I am really not sure how I would react. I guess 1st reaction would be yes, go absolutely. But I would definitely want us to find out more about security, communication with home etc. I would also want to make sure I have a good support system around me for when he is gone. I would miss him and worry about him so so much and in my heart I would not want him to go but my head would tell me he should. but it's a decision only you and DH can make for YOUR family.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:07 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
The Perfect Pair
Member since 5/06 19861 total posts
Name:
Best Wife & Mommy
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by Bxgell2
Absolutely - of course you'll miss him, and it will be sad to miss your DS's first bday party, but think of the impact he can make on so many innocent lives. And, he will be giving your child an even greater gift in his absence - an incredible role model for a tremendous, selfless act of pure kindness
ITA!!!
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:08 AM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 3/5/2010 1:41:06 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:58 AM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by sweetie
I would want him to go.
In regards to this:
Posted by nov04libride
It's such a noble cause, but I don't know if I personally could manage as a single F/T working mom w/ no help from DH for 3 months. Unless you have a really strong support system w/ lots of family/friends to help you, I don't think I could manage it.
Anyone can manage as a F/T working mom if they have to. What about all the single mothers who do it daily?
Well this is not realy true in the situation the poster is describing. It's true if you've been or became a single mom along the way - you create a work/life balance that works.. but a mom who's in a relationship has arranged her life/work balance based on having a partner there and available. Not all jobs and/or childcare would "flex" to accomodate this charitable act so I can't agree here.
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:11 AM |
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