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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 3/5/2010 1:40:52 PM.
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Posted 1/16/10 10:42 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Absolutely true but that's a life event that she would have to adapt to (be it via tragedy or separation). I was just saying that for a short term (3 month) charitable effort, it's not necessarily possible for *everyone* to accomodate, kwim? 
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:46 AM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
No, I would not want my DH to go. I am 7 months pregnant and have a 21 month old. He is needed at home. But, if he really really really really had a calling to do it, we would make it work I guess.
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| Posted 1/16/10 10:54 AM |
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chelle
It's a Good Life
Member since 8/06 15404 total posts
Name:
Isn't it obvious?
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
3 months is absolutely too long a time..for me. I freak when I have to do it alone for one day, i couldn't imagine 3 months.
BUT...with that being said...I have to question myself...is this a time to be selfish?
I wouldn't want him to go. No way. But like others have said, I would encourage him to do so. Just not for 3 months 
I have help.
These people don't. They need EVERYthing they can right now. And being that he's a surgeon...that can be an amazing thing he's be doing.
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| Posted 1/16/10 11:00 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
YES...100% without a doubt. It would be one of the biggst gifts he could give the world. IMO, noting here is as important as possibly saving some of these poor peoples lives.
Yes I would worry 24/7, but we all...we are just so blessed, we all have the WORLD compared to what these people are facing and I would implore anyone who can help to do so.
Sorry..I'm obviously very emotional over it. I cannot stand to see their suffering : ( .
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| Posted 1/16/10 11:52 AM |
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mom2b
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 1072 total posts
Name:
x
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I would def let him go. Maybe not for the whole 3 months. I would love to go myself but I just returned to work last week.
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| Posted 1/16/10 12:04 PM |
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JenandMikey
life is good =)
Member since 5/07 4216 total posts
Name:
We're so blessed!
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by neenie
Absolutely, without any question or doubt in my mind, NOPE!
With the security issues and crime going on down there... no freaking way. There was such turmoil before this, i can only imagine what it is like now that when the fight for survival mode kicks in.
No. No way.
thank you! ita! ....this is exactly how i feel about it....if there was an organized gov't and things weren't chaoic BEFORE the actual tragedy then I would say that the dangers and fears of security/crime wouldn't be a huge issue but like quoted poster, there was complete and utter turmoil in the country prior to the earthquake I could only imagine what the media isn't showing crime-wise that is happening as I write this
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| Posted 1/16/10 1:34 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by sweetie
I would want him to go.
In regards to this:
Posted by nov04libride
It's such a noble cause, but I don't know if I personally could manage as a single F/T working mom w/ no help from DH for 3 months. Unless you have a really strong support system w/ lots of family/friends to help you, I don't think I could manage it.
Anyone can manage as a F/T working mom if they have to. What about all the single mothers who do it daily?
Well she did say "personally." I think it was pretty clear she was talking about HER life
To the OP-Not for that long. 3 months is a long time. Maybe he could go for a few weeks
Message edited 1/16/2010 1:39:20 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/10 1:37 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by colette
Posted by sweetie
I would want him to go.
In regards to this:
Posted by nov04libride
It's such a noble cause, but I don't know if I personally could manage as a single F/T working mom w/ no help from DH for 3 months. Unless you have a really strong support system w/ lots of family/friends to help you, I don't think I could manage it.
Anyone can manage as a F/T working mom if they have to. What about all the single mothers who do it daily?
Well this is not realy true in the situation the poster is describing. It's true if you've been or became a single mom along the way - you create a work/life balance that works.. but a mom who's in a relationship has arranged her life/work balance based on having a partner there and available. Not all jobs and/or childcare would "flex" to accomodate this charitable act so I can't agree here.
I agree w/ Colette--I said I could be a F/T single working (at a very demanding job) mom if I had a strong support system of family and friends to help. In my current position, no, I could not do it without my DH or more help from family or friends.
TBH, many single moms I know live with their parents or have parents helping minding their DC a great deal--if that isn't the case, and you aren't the one able to pick up/drop off DC from daycare, and wouldn't want to give up a stable job for 3 months, I don't know how you would make it work.
If you are thrown into being a single mom, yes, you would adjust, change jobs, move closer to your parents, but that's maybe not something you'd do for 3 months.
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| Posted 1/16/10 1:39 PM |
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sweetie
Member since 8/06 1730 total posts
Name:
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Message edited 3/5/2010 1:40:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/10 2:32 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
There is a chance my DH will be sent there as emergency relief, and he will have no choice but to go, so yes, I think that your DH should go.
I think three months is a long time, but in the grand scheme of life, it is not, and these people are utterly devastated right now...
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| Posted 1/16/10 2:39 PM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I would have more of an issue with the fact that it's dangerous in Haiti and he might not come back. DH knows several people who are actually from Haiti who dont' even like to go back there because it's so dangerous. Now that everything is in chaos, it's even worse.
DH talks about going places all the time to help through Habitat for Humanity or some relief organizations and if it were someplace that was generally safe, I would miss him but willing to make the sacrifice to let him go. But if it meant sacrificing my husband and the father of my children forever, I would absolutely not be supportive.
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| Posted 1/16/10 2:43 PM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by MrsList
I would have more of an issue with the fact that it's dangerous in Haiti and he might not come back. DH knows several people who are actually from Haiti who dont' even like to go back there because it's so dangerous. Now that everything is in chaos, it's even worse.
DH talks about going places all the time to help through Habitat for Humanity or some relief organizations and if it were someplace that was generally safe, I would miss him but willing to make the sacrifice to let him go. But if it meant sacrificing my husband and the father of my children forever, I would absolutely not be supportive.
ITA
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| Posted 1/16/10 2:51 PM |
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josie919
Here we go!
Member since 2/08 1108 total posts
Name:
Josie
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Sorry if this sounds snotty, but I really dont mean it that way..... if he has the opportunity to help as many people as it sounds like, based on his field specialty, then why wouldn't he go? I know i'm going to get flamed for this, but my husband is in the military and when its time to deploy, he deploys. It sucks, its sad, I worry ALL THE TIME.. but you know what... Karma is a wonderful thing. What goes around, comes around.. both positive and negative. God rewards those who do go deeds. As much as he misses out on when he's gone, as many nights that I cry myself to sleep... I wouldn't change it for anything because of the pride I have in him. My DD will grow up knowing that her Daddy is selfless and gave himself to make things better for others. Its only my opinion, but if he goes, totally be upset and worried, but also, you should be the most proud wife around that YOU and your husband CHOOSE to sacrifice for the benefit of others.... its a personal decision, and I hope you decide whatever is best for you.
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| Posted 1/16/10 3:18 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by neenie
Absolutely, without any question or doubt in my mind, NOPE!
With the security issues and crime going on down there... no freaking way. There was such turmoil before this, i can only imagine what it is like now that when the fight for survival mode kicks in.
No. No way.
I agree with the 100%
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| Posted 1/16/10 3:20 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by saraH
Posted by neenie
Absolutely, without any question or doubt in my mind, NOPE!
With the security issues and crime going on down there... no freaking way. There was such turmoil before this, i can only imagine what it is like now that when the fight for survival mode kicks in.
No. No way.
I agree with the 100%
same here. not a chance in H E L L!!!
he is needed at home with his 2 babies.
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| Posted 1/16/10 3:26 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by eddiesmommy
Id be OK for the entire 3 months....if it means a mothers arm could be saved so she can hold her child, or a child leg is saved so he can run around again one day....Id suck it up for 3 months, if though Id miss him and it would be hard back home. Id be willing to sacrifice 3 months of my time for the greater good. Those poor people need all the help they can gte.
ITA! 
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| Posted 1/16/10 3:31 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Is the opportunity being offered through his hospital? Just b/c my hospital sent out an email to everyone cautioning them about the situation down there.
Here's part of the email that we received:
Many of you have also asked about volunteering to go to Haiti. At this time, due to lack of security, transportation obstacles and the general instability of Haiti’s infrastructure, federal authorities are urging XYZ Hospital and other hospitals not to send medical response teams on there own to Haiti.
We continue to stay in constant contact with local, state and federal authorities, and have expressed a willingness to help in any way we can. This is obviously a very fluid situation that is changing by the minute, so please be on the lookout for periodic updates.
so i would feel concerned about a hospital/school program/etc encouraging and urging it's medical staff to go down there at this time.
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| Posted 1/16/10 5:39 PM |
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bonitachyc
big sister status may 2012!!
Member since 5/08 3242 total posts
Name:
Lupe
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
absolutely! 100%! i myself would go over there in a heartbeat if i could. put yourself in their shoes. they need all the help they can get right now. God willing, your DH won't need to stay there longer than that time frame. good luck!
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| Posted 1/16/10 5:41 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
No way!! To me it is not just the 3 months that I'm worried about. It is how dangerous Haiti is. It was dangerous to go to before the earthquake, I could just imagine how it is now. I would worry my DS would never come back. I guess I selfish, but this is how I feel.
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:04 PM |
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bella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1871 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Yes, I would want him to go if I knew that he could help so many.....I think this is a very personal choice, but for me no question and I know DH would want to so I would support him 100%..
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:48 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I'm going to be honest even though I know I am going to sound really selfish but, NO - absolutely not - for so many reasons that all the pp have mentioned. But primarily - Our family comes first. And, this would not be the best thing for our family.
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| Posted 1/16/10 7:55 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
Posted by sweetie
Posted by nov04libride
I agree w/ Colette--I said I could be a F/T single working (at a very demanding job) mom if I had a strong support system of family and friends to help. In my current position, no, I could not do it without my DH or more help from family or friends.
TBH, many single moms I know live with their parents or have parents helping minding their DC a great deal--if that isn't the case, and you aren't the one able to pick up/drop off DC from daycare, and wouldn't want to give up a stable job for 3 months, I don't know how you would make it work.
If you are thrown into being a single mom, yes, you would adjust, change jobs, move closer to your parents, but that's maybe not something you'd do for 3 months.
I didn't mean to single you out, just that comment. I feel that anyone has the capability to do it on their own, even if it's only a temp situation. Not saying it would be easy but def not impossible.
Btw, I don't live with my parents & no single mom that I know does.
I didn't realize that you were a single mom--kudos to you, especially if you do it with no help from family! Most of the single mothers I have met are lucky enough to have a significant amount of help from family.
For me since I work two jobs, one that I do at night when DH takes care of DS, I really couldn't do it without help from family, who are already overburdened. I have the capability of doing it on my own certainly, but not w/ my current working situation. We all have very different jobs w/ very different responsibilities. F/T working at a grocery store (not that anyone here does) and not having to take work home is very different than working a 12-hour day and being expected to check your email/blackberry all night.
At any rate, my initial post was just meant to say that w/ my current work situation, I could not do it without DH or additional help.
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:46 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
There is like the slimmest, slightest chance that DH would ever be sent there (as in, ordered to go) but it's highly doubtful. And no, I wouldn't want him to go. He wouldn't be going in a medical capacity, more of a law enforcement capacity.
I can't comment on whether I'd want him to go if he was a doctor... I just don't know how I'd feel. My aunt (a doctor) is there now, she jumped at the opportunity to go, and my uncle is 1000% supportive of her, even though he told her he didn't want her to go.
I can tell you that DH most certainly does not want to go.
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| Posted 1/16/10 8:55 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Would you want your DH to go to Haiti to help?
I recently read a book about a doctor who set up an organization in Haiti (which I've been posting about on every Haiti-relief thread, Partners in Health) and after learning about him and the complete dedication of his life to this cause - bringing affordable health care to the poorest areas of the world - I feel that I have to say yes, I would want my DH to go.
I don't think I would have said the same thing before I read this book, but knowing that this man who has a wife and child spends years of his life in Haiti under all conditions, I feel that if my husband had the ability and the means to help out for 3 months then he should go.
I'd miss him and I would be devastated that he missed my child's first birthday, but it just feels like the right thing to do.
But then again, since there is zero chance of my DH going, it's very easy for me to sit here and say this.
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| Posted 1/16/10 9:04 PM |
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