WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

SIL had twins. I have been there to help her when she needs it. I always have a present for the babies. I have given clothes, diapers toys etc. I do this becuase this is the type of person I am. I will give exactly what I gave my other niece equally. this weekend, I gave 4 outfits- really 2 outfits but doubles becuase they are twins. SIL had the nerve to tell me she had that outfit and to return it. at first I was not annoyed, but when I think about it, I am kind of annoyed, I go out of my way to get the gifts, and this is what is said to me, and I also had given her another outfit x2 that they never got to wear and she said I should return it, they are never going to get to wear it becuase they are getting big fast. My BIL apparently yelled at her and she apologized to me, , My Dh said there is no way they are going to be that generous with us- not that I am expecting the same in return. Would you continue to give anything else or wait a few months, or take it lightly and just let this situation roll off of you? Sorry, this is not really TTC rleated, but all of you can understand where I am coming from. TIA!

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

I have dealt w/ NUMEROUS situations like this w/ my SIL....a few Christmas's back we had bought a VERY nice and generous gift for my neice and we happened to mention to them that we bought it (this was before Christmas) and she goes " oh well I guess you will have to return it b/c Santa is getting that for her" They hadn't even bought it yet!!! These kids have everything as it is so they are sooo hard to buy for!! Needless to say we don't tell them what we buy anymore.

Also, I have been asked on numerous occasions for receipts for things I buy....I used to get insulted and hurt...now I just let it roll of my back and remember that I will NEVER be like that when I have kids....I will always show appreciation for any token of kindness (gift or otherwise) given to my child....Everyone knows how my SIL is and everyone including MIL and FIL just let it roll off their backs w/ a private

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

I can speak from first hand experience- it's called being a good aunt. I bought my neice SO MUCH stuff when she was born (she's almost 5 and I still buy her way too much stuff).
I will say that I've learned w/ her and then my 2 nephews that babies grow so quickly.... the odds are that they have enough stuff to wear and play with and use right now (if they had a shower for her before the babies were born).
I would wait a few months before buying them anything else-- plus it will make your SIL stop and think (maybe) and realize what a giving aunt your are... and back off a little when you're going out of your way to be nice. I've learned the kids will appreciate it more when they're older anyway---because they'll know it was from you.

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

If buying gifts for them makes you happy, be the bigger person and keep doing so. No reason to hold the kids accountable because their mother has "Foot-in-Mouth Disease".

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

We are so sorry to hear this. DH and I are excatly like you. Continue to be yourself. Don't take what she says to heart. Let her keep putting her foot in her mouth. She should be happy that she has a wonderful family.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

Posted by MrsMessina


I would wait a few months before buying them anything else-- plus it will make your SIL stop and think (maybe) and realize what a giving aunt your are... and back off a little when you're going out of your way to be nice. I've learned the kids will appreciate it more when they're older anyway---because they'll know it was from you.

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

I would be p*ssed too. I put the S in SPOILED when it comes to my nieces, but I think part of it is the situation my family is in also. To answer your question: I would bring something every now and then, but maybe not clothing. I can see both sides. You're trying to be a good aunt, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Maybe your sil is trying to look out for you. I can only imagine how many outfits they have and maybe she's looking at it as a save your money we're set thing. Was she being rude....YES was it MENT to be rude??? What about taking books, stuffed animals, bath time toys, pictures in frames or something else? I hope it gets better!

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

frankly, I don't know what I would do in your situation. I would feel taken for granted by her, but simultaneously,I would feel conflicted becuase the gifts are technically for the kids, and I wouldn't want to punish them because of idiotic things their mom says

This is a rough situation. I say go with your gut instinct on what you feel is right

Re: WWYD- Kind of TTc related- baby related.....

If I were you, I would still continue to buy the babies gifts. Maybe she learned her lesson and will refrain from saying mean things like that.

Not sure how you feel about this, but I always include a gift receipt when I buy clothes or toys for a baby. It's very common that they grow out of things before they get to wear them, or they get duplicates of toys. I would rather the mom exchanged the gift and picked out something else the kid needs/wants later on down the road.