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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
A long time friend is getting married. When DH and I got married 2 years ago, I had to call my friend to see if he would come (after the STD one year in advance and the invitation 10 weeks in advance). He emailed me about 3 weeks in advance and said he was 'trying' to still get down here for the wedding. (I'm from Rochester, so I understand it's not easy. However, we sent out STDs one year before our wedding) I never heard back from him, so we assumed him to be a no-show at the wedding. We didn't get an official 'I am not coming' or any official RSVP.
Now he's contacted me about his wedding on 6/14/08. (And said he didn't know I moved recently. We moved over a year after our wedding.) SURPRISE about him getting married!!! Although I am assuming his wedding is back home in Rochester, what do I do?
He never sent me a wedding present, or ever officially told me he was (n)ever coming. We never added him as a guest for the reception hall. Last I was told, about 3 weeks before, was that he was 'trying' to get here for our wedding. I highly doubt we will make it for his wedding. Do I send a present?
TIA!!! 
Message edited 5/3/2008 7:07:25 AM.
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Posted 5/3/08 7:05 AM  |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
I would send something small from their registry. Although I would love to think that I would send nothing, but I know me & I would feel badly.
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| Posted 5/3/08 7:13 AM |
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MrsBlueSash
Love my sailor
Member since 6/05 5793 total posts
Name:
Christian
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Depends how you would feel talking to him after not sending one? I would send a small gift because wedding presents are quid pro quo in my opinion. Gifts should be given from the heart and not with strings or keeping score in mind. Give what you can and feel like, if that is nothing but a card, then that's ok, but I would base it on your level of friendship not his gift giving abilty (or lack thereof.)
Message edited 5/3/2008 9:17:02 AM.
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| Posted 5/3/08 7:34 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
I never send a gift if we don't go to a wedding.
When we were married we didn't receive gifts from guests who didn't make it either.
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| Posted 5/3/08 7:34 AM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by MsMBV
I would send something small from their registry. Although I would love to think that I would send nothing, but I know me & I would feel badly.
ITA.
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| Posted 5/3/08 8:18 AM |
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leese
Sarge!
Member since 5/05 1965 total posts
Name:
Leese
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
It's clear to me. I would not go, I would not send a gift. Perhaps send a card after the wedding to congratulate him.
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| Posted 5/3/08 8:31 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Someone pulled the same stunt at my wedding and this was how I handled it:
Posted by leese
It's clear to me. I would not go, I would not send a gift. Perhaps send a card after the wedding to congratulate him.
Message edited 5/3/2008 9:06:45 AM.
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| Posted 5/3/08 9:06 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Send a card and maybe a small gift from the registry.. things are different upstate anyway.
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| Posted 5/3/08 9:14 AM |
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LiveAgain
Listen close....
Member since 8/07 3545 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
If I were in that situation I wouldn't send anything. I would RSVP No and leave it at that. If you sent out save the dates a year in advance that gives people ample time to make arrangements.
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| Posted 5/3/08 9:23 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Be the better person and send something small.
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| Posted 5/3/08 9:24 AM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re:
Message edited 3/26/2010 10:53:16 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/08 9:57 AM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by MissJones
Be the better person and send something small.
ITA
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| Posted 5/3/08 10:17 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by MissJones
Be the better person and send something small.
That's what I would do....and have done.
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| Posted 5/3/08 10:19 AM |
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Elizabeth
Mom of Three
Member since 9/05 7900 total posts
Name:
"MOMMY!!!"
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Part of me is thinking you'd feel better being the bigger person and sending something small. And in all honesty, was the friend clueless when it came to wedding etiquette? Not just from being a guy but there are many things I didnt realize were the norm with wedding stuff before I planned my own wedding. Like the fact that mmany times people send something, even if they are not going. Doesn't excuse the "trying to get there" thing but people are really clueless or flaky sometimes and don't mean to be. If so, I'd cut him some slack. BUT on the other hand, there are many people don't send anything - I had people decline my wedding and never send anything and I never thought it was a big deal. It really doesn't sound like you are in touch much anyway since he didn't even know you moved awhile back so it's a tough call. Without knowing him, I don't know if it makes sense to penalize him for his bachelor cluelessness.
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| Posted 5/3/08 10:21 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
if this 'friend' is so out of touch that he didn't even know you moved a year ago, I would prob just send a card.
I would be pretty PO'd over the ordeal from your wedding - rude to say the LEAST
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| Posted 5/3/08 10:24 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by Mssissy
I never send a gift if we don't go to a wedding.
When we were married we didn't receive gifts from guests who didn't make it either.
same here... i don't send a gift if i can't go, i know some people do, but that's just not me.
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| Posted 5/3/08 10:51 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Although it is proper etiquette to send something if you don't attend and were invited - I have to say I think people ignore that - I know we had a number of people who didn't come and didn't send a gift or a card.
Honestly I would at least send a card, but if you can I would try to send a small gift off their registry or a gift card - maybe something like a small picture frame or something of that nature.
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| Posted 5/3/08 11:17 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
i would just send a card
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| Posted 5/3/08 11:17 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by MsMBV
I would send something small from their registry. Although I would love to think that I would send nothing, but I know me & I would feel badly.
Same here. If I didn't want to attend the wedding, i would just RSVP no and send a small gift.
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| Posted 5/3/08 1:06 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
honestly, i wouldnt send him anything. just rsvp that i cant make it -- cause honestly he couldnt even give you that courtesy when it was your turn!
IMO, he's inviting you only because you invited him. he's probably not expecting you to come because he realizes he didnt go to yours.
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| Posted 5/3/08 1:10 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by Gertyrae
Posted by MissJones
Be the better person and send something small.
That's what I would do....and have done.
ditto
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| Posted 5/3/08 1:19 PM |
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vmac
Mommy VMac
Member since 8/07 1860 total posts
Name:
Vanessa
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Re: WWYD? -Wedding related (LONG)
Posted by LisaW
Posted by Gertyrae
Posted by MissJones
Be the better person and send something small.
That's what I would do....and have done.
ditto
yep!
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| Posted 5/3/08 1:52 PM |
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