WWYD...IL situation

Ladies I usually don't post much on this board but I need some advice opinions.

My SIL is pregnant and due mid-May. When she initially told me that she was preggo she asked me to be the godmother and i said sure. At one point me and my SIL had a good relationship. I was the MOH at her wedding however, that changed over a year ago when my brother got sick. I've also mentioned that my little bro contracted encephalitis that initially left him in a coma for over a month. Well during the whole time my SIL didn't bother calling me to see how he was doing or even how I was doing. Meanwhile my little brother was in ICU and the dr's were telling my parents that he probably wouldn't make it. This was a very stressful time for us...one day he was a perfectly healthy 17 year old and the next he was in a coma. I thought this was pretty wrong of her not calling etc ....her excuse...she was to busy moving. ***. Ok so our relationship changed afterwards...my SIL has a tendency to be very selfish. However, last June my Grandfather who I was extremley close to passed away same thing. No phone call etc. Now this is the sister DH is closest too so I don't want to create too much friction by confronting her but trust me the words going on in my mind werent nice...however, I try to forgive and look past it. Fast forward to now...she's pregnant. Now I find out although she asked me to be the baby's godmother she also asked one of her co-workers (I found this out through DH). Now if she wants her co-worker to be the god mother fine by me. However, my SIL hasn't called me to officially tell me she rather her co-worker be the godmother. As a matter of fact...she feels that now that she is pregnant everyone has to call her to see how she is doing because of her condition...these are her words not mine. Now I've never been pregnant like that so I don't know how you are supposed to act however I think this is a little absurd. For goodness sake you are pregnant not crippled! Anyway, the whole point of my long story LOL is that of course my SIL is expecting a shower. I had called her DH a few weeks ago and left him a message asking him to call me in regards to this but this is before my DH told me that she asked her co-worker to be the godmother. IMO, if you asked someone else to be the godmother let her throw you the shower not me. Now her DH has called me 2x and I haven't picked up the phone because I don't know what to say. Honestly, my SIL doesn't have any real friends beside her co-worker because she is super anti-social and critical. My MIL lives in PR and right now shes going through her own issues...I don't even think she planned on being here for the baby shower. One part of me feels like I should be the bigger person and throw her a small shower and the other part of me feels like since she wants to be such a selfish ****** I shouldn't care if she gets one or not. Any suggestions on what I should do?

Re: WWYD...IL situation

I'd find out who the "real" godmother was. I'd have my DH ask her...since he's the one who found out about the coworker

Re: WWYD...IL situation

Some religions have two godmothers if it is a girl, two godfathers if it's a boy. Is that the case here?

If it isn't, that is really weird. I would ask her and let that person be the worrier Good luck

Re: WWYD...IL situation

Posted by BJandDan

Some religions have two godmothers if it is a girl, two godfathers if it's a boy. Is that the case here?

If it isn't, that is really weird. I would ask her and let that person be the worrier Good luck

Re: WWYD...IL situation

Maybe she wants to have two godmothers? My sister did. Myself and her SIL were both godmothers to my niece a few months ago. ( in the catholic church)

Re: WWYD...IL situation

i never heard of the god mother throwing the shower but i guess thats normal

find out if its you or not

im not a big phone cal person- if anything i dont like rehashing sad situations again and again so personally i would probably not be that upset if i wanst called when someone died, howevver this girls soulds a little selfish.

nonetheless your dh should be handling his bil's communication - not you- and he needs to find out who the god mother is and whats expected.

if mil is not in the picture and you are the god mother, worst case scenario, id cal lthe work friend and ask her to help you, and if i were you since its dh's sister he and your bil need to get involved too.

its not like it should be all on your sholudrs- thats ridiculous!

good luck!

Re: WWYD...IL situation

From previous experience, I have realized that some people just can't handle illness and/or death. It is disappointing when people who are family don't behave in a manner in which you would like them to, but sometimes it is just who they are.

I think I would throw her the shower because she is my husband's closest sister, and the child will be my niece or nephew, regardless of whether or not I am the godmother. If she has asked two people and will have to "unask" one of them to be godmother, you have a right to be annoyed, but I think I would be the bigger person for my DH and the sake of my relationship with him. At the very least, she has shown you who she is, and you know what to expect in the future.

Message edited 2/3/2007 10:39:36 AM.