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WWYD...serious family issue...brink of family drama
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
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WWYD...serious family issue...brink of family drama
that is a tough situation...but does your mom even know that she is the same blood type? if she doesnt know (or even if she does know) she should write back saying she isnt sure of her blood type, she will speak to a doctor and get back to her in a few days...and then take the time to think about what she wants to do if she is eligible to do the transplant.
your mom is the only one that can make this decision....and you need to support her regardless of what she does. yes its scary and your mom is young, but if in the end she decides it is her dad and she doesnt want to lose him, then you need to be there for her. i dont think you should sway her one way or another.
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Posted 12/4/12 3:39 PM  |
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WWYD...serious family issue...brink of family drama
I guess i'm going a different path then most posters......
I don't see the issue with texting. At least she is keeping your mom up to date with his condition. If your Mom doesn't like it she should ask her to either contact her via actual phone call or give details in the text.
As for donating. It's a long process and getting tested is just the 1st step. It's a decision she needs to make in her own heart and she needs to talk to her father about this. As for the sister I understand. SHe is scared and wants her Dad to live because he was there for her. I get it. It sounds like your Mom and her father are moving past the past, but the saying is you can forgive and not forget. This also applies.
As for the he put himself there comments. I find that horrible. I do. We all make poor decisions, but that doesn't mean they should stay held over our heads forever especially if he is a recovering addict that is/has made amends and is/has been recovering for years. We don't know the back story here.
Is he close to you? Do you have a relationship with him or your Aunt. It sounds like they are both by you and your Mom is in Virginia. Is that correct?
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| Posted 12/4/12 8:35 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD...serious family issue...brink of family drama
Do you know if your mother's father even wants this? Did he ask your mother's half sister to ask or is it your mother's half sister that wants to prolong your mother's father's life?
It's a hard situation to be in but if I was going to give advice to a family member in the same situation, I would not answer the question now. I would start with step one and talk to the doctors. See if a transplant is even possible. It may not be in which case this is all moot and your mother doesn't have to be the one that said no. I would start there and then take one step at a time. It may never even be a possibility.
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| Posted 12/5/12 8:55 AM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: WWYD...serious family issue...brink of family drama
Posted by PeasandCarrots
I guess i'm going a different path then most posters......
I don't see the issue with texting. At least she is keeping your mom up to date with his condition. If your Mom doesn't like it she should ask her to either contact her via actual phone call or give details in the text.
As for donating. It's a long process and getting tested is just the 1st step. It's a decision she needs to make in her own heart and she needs to talk to her father about this. As for the sister I understand. SHe is scared and wants her Dad to live because he was there for her. I get it. It sounds like your Mom and her father are moving past the past, but the saying is you can forgive and not forget. This also applies.
As for the he put himself there comments. I find that horrible. I do. We all make poor decisions, but that doesn't mean they should stay held over our heads forever especially if he is a recovering addict that is/has made amends and is/has been recovering for years. We don't know the back story here.
Is he close to you? Do you have a relationship with him or your Aunt. It sounds like they are both by you and your Mom is in Virginia. Is that correct?
thank you everyone for your advice. We just recently over the past couple of years have gotten closer...still not CLOSE per se but we will go visit for her kids birthdays or special events a few times a year. My sister is closer with them than I am as she visits every other week or so (grandfathers wife buys avon from her, lol) I am about 30 mins away and my mom is in VA, thats correct. I know the "he put himself there" comments sound awful but...I've seen and heard the damage that both my mom and her brother went through growing up. He was an abusive cheater to their mother and so their mother up and left...leaving her kids behind. He was always out drinking and with different women, he was never around. My mom basically raised her younger brother. When he met a new woman...the one he has my moms half sister with...they turned their backs on my mom. His wife would hang up on my mom when she called. They turned their backs on my mom because she was gay. I remember my mom going there insisting to see her father and the argument that ensued before getting the door slammed in her face...and her father stood by his wife instead of his daughter. Times have changed and he has expressed his deepest apologies. We forgive him, love him and accept him as part of our family...but it's hard to forget. I know he was consumed by his demons back then...but it doesn't change what my mom went through. I guess what I really mean is...I don't think it's fair for my mom to continue to pay the price for those choices after all these years. I know it sounds bad and selfish...but I've seen her go through so much. She got pregnant at 16...she had no parents to guide her...she was happy when she got pregnant it was like she found her "way out". She has found her happiness in life and I hope nothing threatens that.
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| Posted 12/5/12 11:40 AM |
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| Pages: 1 [2] |
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