| Posted By |
Message |
Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
|
x
Message edited 1/30/2007 7:16:08 AM.
|
Posted 1/29/07 5:00 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
WOW! Your BIL is not being respectful of your sister at all.....a true slap in the face that everyone, including his ex's boyfriend was at the communion!
If I was your sister I would tell him enough of the BS...he needs to stand up to his ex and put her first. If her talking to him alone doesn't work I would say they would need counseling.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:05 PM |
| |
|
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
I wouldn't put up with the not being told when the kids were coming over the insulting her and stuff like that.
But not going to the communion might have been the kids request. My dad married the woman he cheated on my mom with. She was never allowed to any of my brother or my events in high school or college, and not really welcome at stuff on my dad's side of the family. And for my wedding, even though it was almost 15 years later and I'd made my peace with my dad, I didn't allow his wife to come for my mom's sake. However, if she'd had a SO I probably would have allowed him. Not fair, I know, but that's how I felt.
ETA: Not saying that your sister broke up their family, just that with kids it's hard to understand why your parents aren't together.
Message edited 1/29/2007 5:06:36 PM.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:05 PM |
| |
|
Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
|
x
Message edited 1/30/2007 7:16:24 AM.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:06 PM |
| |
|
Gumpslilqtpie
Living the DREAM!!!
Member since 7/06 2646 total posts
Name:
Kimmer
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Holy Disrespectful! I would have had to beat him with my hairbrush!
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:09 PM |
| |
|
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Posted by Lauren
Posted by CathyB
I wouldn't put up with the not being told when the kids were coming over the insulting her and stuff like that.
But not going to the communion might have been the kids request. My dad married the woman he cheated on my mom with. She was never allowed to any of my brother or my events in high school or college, and not really welcome at stuff on my dad's side of the family. And for my wedding, even though it was almost 15 years later and I'd made my peace with my dad, I didn't allow his wife to come for my mom's sake. However, if she'd had a SO I probably would have allowed him. Not fair, I know, but that's how I felt.
Her husband told her that the ex was the one who requested her not attend. It was not the child in this case.
That's crap then. Did the ex wife leave your BIL or the other way around. Kinda sounds like he's not totally over her, with the nasty comments about your sister's looks. Otherwise he needs to grow a set and confront the ex and tell her that your sister is a part of his - and by extension the kids - lives and she needs to deal with it
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:12 PM |
| |
|
Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
|
x
Message edited 1/30/2007 7:16:38 AM.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:13 PM |
| |
|
CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Posted by Lauren
He left her. He is not in love with her - that much I know - but I am thinking maybe he is scared of her?
Could be. Maybe she's threatening to keep the kids from him and he doesn't want to admit that to your sister, so he's trying to manage it on his own. 
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:14 PM |
| |
|
Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
|
x
Message edited 1/30/2007 7:16:50 AM.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:16 PM |
| |
|
Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Your sister is not the child, the husband is. Whenever my step mom did not invite me places my father and I grew further apart untill I screened his calls and said f it. If he is going to put up with her bs I want nothing with him...he finally figured it out and chose me. Even if he didn't I would have been fine without him and his chic.
Your sister is in a toxic relationship, its not normal for the husband to be so concerned about his ex-wife. There are plenty of melded families in the world that get along just fine.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:16 PM |
| |
|
Mrs-Boop
My Babies
Member since 5/05 4956 total posts
Name:
Jaime
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
How is your sisters relationship with the kids?? Do they get along?? Honestly, I would never take that cr@p from my husband . He has a 14 year old son with an ex, thankfully he was never married to her, but my husband has always made sure I was there, by his side, at every school function or milestone with his son, regardless of what she may have wanted..heck I am there for more things than her. If I were your sister, i would lay it on the line....unless he wants to start looking for a new wife, he better start respecting her and her role in his children's lives..she is their stepmother. And your sisters husband needs to seriously grow a set and stand the heck up to his ex and tell her this is the way its gonna be. I don't get the vibe that the kids don't like your sister, so he really needs to set the ex straight...not for her or for him, but for the sake of the kids. 
|
| Posted 1/29/07 5:39 PM |
| |
|
Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
if he thinks his ex is so great then why is she the EX?
|
| Posted 1/29/07 6:49 PM |
| |
|
Emily
Kasey & Me! Lurves it!
Member since 7/06 8703 total posts
Name:
STBHC
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Posted by Nicole728
if he thinks his ex is so great then why is she the EX?
sounds like she left him and is making him sweat it over the kids
|
| Posted 1/29/07 6:50 PM |
| |
|
Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Posted by Emily
Posted by Nicole728
if he thinks his ex is so great then why is she the EX?
sounds like she left him and is making him sweat it over the kids
she said he left her...either way I think its extremely rude for him to treat your sister like that...she's his wife, why does she need to leave the room or not be included in family events...she is family!
|
| Posted 1/29/07 6:58 PM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Posted by Mrs-Boop
How is your sisters relationship with the kids?? Do they get along?? Honestly, I would never take that cr@p from my husband . He has a 14 year old son with an ex, thankfully he was never married to her, but my husband has always made sure I was there, by his side, at every school function or milestone with his son, regardless of what she may have wanted..heck I am there for more things than her. If I were your sister, i would lay it on the line....unless he wants to start looking for a new wife, he better start respecting her and her role in his children's lives..she is their stepmother. And your sisters husband needs to seriously grow a set and stand the heck up to his ex and tell her this is the way its gonna be. I don't get the vibe that the kids don't like your sister, so he really needs to set the ex straight...not for her or for him, but for the sake of the kids.
I agree! I'm glad she's holding off having kids. There is a high level of instability in the marriage. As for the kids/ex wife... Either you're in or you're out. The message he's sending is she's out. If she wants it to continue than say nothing. Unfortunately none of us can make our sisters grow back bones & dump the jerks they're with.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 8:25 PM |
| |
|
Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
That's total BS. Does he still feel something for his ex???
For someone to tell his wife not to come home to her own house is ridiculous. He should be telling the ex, this is my wife and she will be at every one of the kids events.
He's a lousy husband. I'm sorry- but anybody that would leave their wife out of a communion....
|
| Posted 1/29/07 8:30 PM |
| |
|
SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
it doesn't sound like he is respecting your sister, sadly. she is his wife now and deserves to be treated as such. he's treating her like just some chick he is trying to hide from his ex. she is his wife and it's time for him to stand up to his ex! 
|
| Posted 1/29/07 8:30 PM |
| |
|
qtptootie
I'm Getting Teeth!!!
Member since 4/06 1307 total posts
Name:
Nicole
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
wow..i wouldn't put up with it. i would neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr leave my own house because she was coming over or stay out. if he called me and told me that, he'd better be gone as well when i got home. sounds like your sis needs to put her foot down. if he doesn't like it.. and gives her hell, then she should rethink this whole situation. he could be hung up on the ex still. why did they divorce? did she leave him??
|
| Posted 1/29/07 11:17 PM |
| |
|
Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
Did he do this stuff before they got married? It sounds absolutely ridiculous to me.
First of all the comment about how she looks compared to the ex is just downright mean and nasty and untolerable.
Secondlly, why is it that the ex's boyfriend can go to events but his wife can't?
He is totally disrespecting her and making her look like a fool and her smartest move would be to give him an ultimatum of allowing her to be in the presence of the ex anytime or she's out.
|
| Posted 1/29/07 11:40 PM |
| |
|
MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
|
Re: Repost from relationship board...need some thoughts!
They got into an argument and my sister (as childish as this may sound) said something to the effect of "well at least I don't look like your ex wife" and his response was "she looked better than you at your age and you will look worse than her at her age"
_______
For uttering that statement alone means his ex definitely dumped his azz and he's not over it. If I were your sister I'd leave him in a jiffy b/c this guy is still under the "control" of the ex-wife, who's using the kids as a lame excuse.
|
| Posted 1/30/07 6:41 AM |
| |
|
