Your honest opinion - TTC

A little background....My sister told me like 6 months ago that she will be TTC this summer. They've been trying for 3 months now and it hasn't happened yet. She's been really down and disappointed since it hasn't happened. Now my Hubby and I have finally decided to TTC (we're married 6 yrs).

So, my question is: If this were you would you wait to TTC knowing that your sister was also?

To answer my own question, I feel like if the tables were turned I might be a little upset honestly. I was hoping that it would happen quickly so that she could have her time to announce and shine.

Your thoughts?

Message edited 9/10/2007 11:08:50 PM.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I honestly don't think that her TTC should have any bearing on your decision.

If you and your DH are ready, then you should do it. Good Luck!

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I would not halt my life for anyone else. I would simply explain to my sister that I thought the time was right for me to TTC and I hope it is something we could experience together. There are no guarantees in life so you can't put things off just because someone else is experiencing difficulties.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I agree with the others - My SIL started TTC right after I told her I was back earlier this year (at least I think that b/c when I told her, she said she was waiting until the end of year to try). We both got pg within a month of each other, and then both m/c within a month of each other. Bottom line, you just don't know how the TTC process will go, what setbacks might pop up, so do what you have to and want to do.....good luck.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

Honestly I would not put off TTC because a family member was even if it was my sister. There is no guarantee to when you both will get pregnant. Plus your sister should not get mad at you if it happens to you first! Everybody has time lines in their lives, never put something on hold that your DH & you want just because of someone!

For me, DH & I started trying when my SIL was PG. We wanted to be PG together, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I wouldn't wait. what if it takes her a year or worse two? Would you still wait? I personally would be fine with it. Yes it might sting a little if you get PG before her but she will understand and it will happen for her. Good Luck with your decision.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

ITA with PP. Good Luck!

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

You're a good person for thinking about your sister's feelings, however, you shouldn't wait. I am sure she would understand. 3 months is not a long time to be trying so maybe it will happen for her real soon.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I completely understand how you feel! I have a friend who has been trying for a bit and my husband and i will be trying next month. And i worry that it might happen for us sooner than my friend. And i feel horrible about that because it would rightfully upset her, but i know that she'd be happy for us too.

So i understand your concerns because i'm somewhat in a similar boat as you, but i wouldn't wait. I'd feel horrible, but i wouldn't wait.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I would not wait to TTC. You never know how long it will take, for you or your sister.
My sister started TTC right before I did and we were both sooooo excited and hopeful that we would be pregnant at the same time. We're very close, though - I'm not sure of your relationship with your sister.
She got her BFP first, then I did 2 weeks later - weird how it worked out. Unfortunately, yesterday she had a m/c I feel so horrible for her and a part of me feels a tiny bit guilty, but I know she'd yell at me if I told her that.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

Do not wait to start. I've been TTC for a long time before my sister told me they were going to TTC (she's married 5 years, I'm married just under 2, but I'm much older). She got pregnant right away, I'm still trying.

ETA: I was NOT upset, couldn't have been happier.

Message edited 9/11/2007 11:55:42 AM.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

Personally I would not hold off on TTC for anyone in my life. But, I do not have a sister so I really don't quite relate to the dynamic that exists between sisters.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

dont put your life on hold... 3 months of trying is very normal and it may take a few more.. maybe you could definitly wait the 12 weeks/3 months before announcing to see if she gets preggo in that time if you happen to get preggo first!

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

You guys are right, it could take her or myself longer..and then what? Besides, we live on opposite ends of the U.S. I'll be doing this alone essentially anyway (meaning away from my family). Thank you for your honest opinions!

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I would not wait, you never know how long it will take. However I would tell your sister that you are going to be trying so if you do get pregnant first it won't be a complete shock to her. I'm sure she will be thrilled to know you will have your babies close in age

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I wouldn't wait. I understand your feelings, and yes, your sister might be a little upset if you get a BFP first, but you can't put your life on hold for someone else. In the long run, I'm sure she'll understand.

You're a very thoughtful sister though!

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I wouldn't wait for anyone. Life has to go on - as hard as it sounds. I spent a huge portion of my life waiting for incredible things to happen for me while they happened to everyone else in my life. Fortunately, I was well adjusted enough to know that one day I would have my turn. I can't imagine anyone close to me, whether family or not, who would begrudge me my happiness especially when it comes to TTC.

I have seen quite a few good friends become pregnant before me and I am genuinely happy for every single one of them. So far I have been TTC for over a year. Im not angry or bitter.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

there is no reason why you shoulld put your life on hold for the sake of others if this is your time you need to go for it.

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

I know exactly where you are coming from with the way you are feeling but in all honesty, if you and DH are ready I wouldn't wait.

I completely understand how you feel although this should not change your life.

GL

and here's some for your sister

Re: Your honest opinion - TTC

We don't think you so should wait. I am the oldest child in my family. Many life changing events happened to my sister first. When I was younger it somewhat bothered me because I was the oldest. But, I was so happy when she announced that she was engaged and going to be getting married. I was so very happy when she announced when she was pregnant. She has shared some very good advice about pregnancy to me. We really don't think that your sister would be upset. We think that she would be very very happy for you.

~dancer and chef~
charlotte and michael