"Your not getting any younger"

When are you going to have babies?
Love hearing this yesterday from my doctor
Let me tell you, I hate having to come up with excuses as to why I am 29 and don't have any plans to start a family.

I know that the sole caretaking would fall on my shoulders, and DH knows this as well, and he has no plans either.

We just found out this weekend, that after being in the same basement office for the past 7 years, with floods, leaky ceilings, and no windows, we are getting a brand new huge office, and we get to customize the entire layout, colors, etc. This is going to be a huge expense compared to the other rent we were paying. I am so excited for my DH to have this new office, be on the 2nd floor, with windows, I have told some friends that i had really exciting news...most guessed i was PG? I was like how is that exciting lol?

Anyway, with this big move in the next coming months, there will be so much to do, its pretty surreal, I Do not see DH wanting to have kids for a while with everything going on and his growing business. And i am perfectly happy with that. He works late most nights, but he always makes time for me and our families.
Adding a baby would be a total negative in our lives.

It just frustrates me that people think the sole purpose of getting married is to have babies.

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

My friend, who is the same age as me, had a baby last year and now likes to remind me that i'm getting older !!

Yes, I am aware of this.

"you know you should really have kids before your 35....you don't want to wait until after that"

Needless to say, we don't speak that often anymore lol

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

That was unprofessional from a Dr.
They should be an unbiased opinion- like the media.
Their concern should be your health- not your baby making status.

I would have been furious and probably flipped out on him and stormed out and found another Dr.

Azzhat!

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

I have people asking me when we are going to have a baby. But we have only been married for 2 years and I am only 28. I feel like I have a few good years before I will start.

There is nothing wrong with taking time for yourselves, your career, or anything else you want to do in your life. And there is also nothing wrong with deciding not to have kids. You have to do what is right for you and your DH.

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

next time someone asks me about having a baby, i'm going to ask them if they'll be the one paying for him/her!

i wish everyone would back off and let us do our own thing!

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Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Message edited 9/30/2009 8:59:39 AM.

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I am 32...not married...widowed from a horrible marriage for not even a year

and even I have to say I am NOT prego before sharing any news with anyone....

as if I should be trying to have a baby right now

(don't get my wrong...I plan on having them WHEN I get remarried...but this time now is all about me!)

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I am 34 and will be 35 this coming year. DH and I are not in any rush to have babies.

If by a certain age, it does not happen then it was meant to be.

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I'm 27 and I am DREADING this talk with my GYN. I know she will ask as soon as I get in her office. I haven't been to her since my check up last year and am due to go in Dec. Last time I was there, she was talking about sending me to a specialist b.c I have PCOS and wanted to start planning for a family in the near future. NOW here I am a year later and almost divorced....uhhh, can I skip this years check up?? I just don't want to have this conversation...

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by J9-13

I'm 27 and I am DREADING this talk with my GYN. I know she will ask as soon as I get in her office. I haven't been to her since my check up last year and am due to go in Dec. Last time I was there, she was talking about sending me to a specialist b.c I have PCOS and wanted to start planning for a family in the near future. NOW here I am a year later and almost divorced....uhhh, can I skip this years check up?? I just don't want to have this conversation...

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by anonttcer

Posted by J9-13

I'm 27 and I am DREADING this talk with my GYN. I know she will ask as soon as I get in her office. I haven't been to her since my check up last year and am due to go in Dec. Last time I was there, she was talking about sending me to a specialist b.c I have PCOS and wanted to start planning for a family in the near future. NOW here I am a year later and almost divorced....uhhh, can I skip this years check up?? I just don't want to have this conversation...

It is sad that you even have to worry about that.
Your Dr should be concerned with your health- not with your status and/or desire to have kids.
I would just tell her- Listen change of plans- I'm not planning on starting a family any time soon anymore.
And leave it at that.

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by Beth

Posted by anonttcer

Posted by J9-13

I'm 27 and I am DREADING this talk with my GYN. I know she will ask as soon as I get in her office. I haven't been to her since my check up last year and am due to go in Dec. Last time I was there, she was talking about sending me to a specialist b.c I have PCOS and wanted to start planning for a family in the near future. NOW here I am a year later and almost divorced....uhhh, can I skip this years check up?? I just don't want to have this conversation...

It is sad that you even have to worry about that.
Your Dr should be concerned with your health- not with your status and/or desire to have kids.
I would just tell her- Listen change of plans- I'm not planning on starting a family any time soon anymore.
And leave it at that.

well I was in that same position this year

I had told her the year before I was planning on going off the pill this year

and it was so not a big deal at all

we ended up just joking about it and she gave me extra free packs of pill

don't dread it- and if you really do- then it's time to find a new doc b/c you should feel totally comfortable

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

I apologize for crashing I just thought I would offer some insight on the doctor's question - improperly worded as it was.

Several years ago, there was a big "to do" about the fact the many women were trying to have children in their later years only to find out they no longer could have children. Many of these women started to blame their doctors saying that they were never told that despite them being otherwise healthy they may not be able to have kids after, say, 35 (some can without a problem others cannot). I believe some lawsuits were filed. Oprah even did a show on this.

Anyway, I believe that as a result, now doctors take it upon themselves to tell you the risks of waiting etc. However, I do believe there is a more tactful and clinical way to approach this.

I hope I did not offend by coming on here I just wanted to share some knowledge

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don't feel bad. the woman who WAXES me at Bliss yells at me every month. 'what are you waiting for?", um -forever. thanks.

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by stickydust

I apologize for crashing I just thought I would offer some insight on the doctor's question - improperly worded as it was.

Several years ago, there was a big "to do" about the fact the many women were trying to have children in their later years only to find out they no longer could have children. Many of these women started to blame their doctors saying that they were never told that despite them being otherwise healthy they may not be able to have kids after, say, 35 (some can without a problem others cannot). I believe some lawsuits were filed. Oprah even did a show on this.

Anyway, I believe that as a result, now doctors take it upon themselves to tell you the risks of waiting etc. However, I do believe there is a more tactful and clinical way to approach this.

I hope I did not offend by coming on here I just wanted to share some knowledge

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by BunnyWife

Posted by stickydust

I apologize for crashing I just thought I would offer some insight on the doctor's question - improperly worded as it was.

Several years ago, there was a big "to do" about the fact the many women were trying to have children in their later years only to find out they no longer could have children. Many of these women started to blame their doctors saying that they were never told that despite them being otherwise healthy they may not be able to have kids after, say, 35 (some can without a problem others cannot). I believe some lawsuits were filed. Oprah even did a show on this.

Anyway, I believe that as a result, now doctors take it upon themselves to tell you the risks of waiting etc. However, I do believe there is a more tactful and clinical way to approach this.

I hope I did not offend by coming on here I just wanted to share some knowledge

I agree with you. My gyn asked me last month about the kid thing. It was just a question and she even said I have a few more years before I really have to worry about. There are tactful ways for doctors to handle it.

Re: "Your not getting any younger"

Posted by anonttcer

Posted by BunnyWife

Posted by stickydust

I apologize for crashing I just thought I would offer some insight on the doctor's question - improperly worded as it was.

Several years ago, there was a big "to do" about the fact the many women were trying to have children in their later years only to find out they no longer could have children. Many of these women started to blame their doctors saying that they were never told that despite them being otherwise healthy they may not be able to have kids after, say, 35 (some can without a problem others cannot). I believe some lawsuits were filed. Oprah even did a show on this.

Anyway, I believe that as a result, now doctors take it upon themselves to tell you the risks of waiting etc. However, I do believe there is a more tactful and clinical way to approach this.

I hope I did not offend by coming on here I just wanted to share some knowledge

I agree with you. My gyn asked me last month about the kid thing. It was just a question and she even said I have a few more years before I really have to worry about. There are tactful ways for doctors to handle it.

Exactly- they can just say- I just want to let you know that waiting past a certain age poses a risk and here are the scientific facts and statisitcs. They can put it like- I am not sure if you are planning on having children or not, but.... etc etc etc.
Making comments like"you are not getting any younger" etc is just SO unprofesional.

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Last year when i got married, my GYN asked if we were having kids and i said "if it happens"..i was annoyed at first but then realized she's only asking b/c i am over 40 and she wanted me to realize that seeing a specialist or whatever can take time and not to wait too long.

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I just got married 3 weeks ago...and I had dinner with some friends in NYC last week and they were waiting for some news. I was like "what, why that look"...they were waiting for an anouncement!! 3 weeks married people, 3 weeks, it took me a long time to find my husband, I'd like to enjoy him and our life together before we add a baby to the mix and everything changes for good. I am also on medication that I can't get preggo on...so we have a lot of decisions to make as to timing etc.

I am 33, DH is 40....so I guess that's why people are waiting for us. Let's just be happy with today!

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sorry to crash but

Dang that's just rude!

I was 33 when I had AJ and so what? We just didnt want that responsibility nor did we see ourselves as parents before that. We enjoyed our lives just the way they were. Sure I'm happy have AJ and wouldnt trade it for the world but I hated the pressure I got about being in my 30's and childless as if it was some great shame/pity/sorrow. Nope I was 30's and childless and quite happy, thanks.

My docs never even asked. It wasnt until *I* said "hey so we're thinking of having children" that my doctor came close to discussing reproduction. Even then he really had nothing to say but "stop the pill and see me when you get a positive" type stuff. Drink OJ, try to lose weight, stop smoking if you are, etc. Very generic things. A year later when i got serious and got pregnant, he was great. But until then he was just my OBGYN which is exactly how I think it should be.

Ugh this is annoying.. sorry. Just strikes a nerve cause honestly.. it doesn't stop. Folks still say that "youre not getting younger" deal but now its about having a second .. ummmm no thank you.