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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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What would you do …
years ago , during my parents divorce, my father added me to the deed of the family house ( he is not on it , just me and my mom ) I was younger and just went along with it without thinking too much. It was never an issue or mentioned until a year ago when my mom said,”I want you to get off the deed. “ She said.” you have control over my house and I don’t like it.” This was NEVER an issue for years prior. I assured her that of course if she ever wanted to sell the house, I’d sign off on whatever is needed, but at this time , I want to stay on. Our relationship has a lot of ups and downs and this house is worth a substantial amount of money. If I got off she could easily disinherit me if she’s angry etc. I need to protect myself. Anyway , things came to a head yesterday. We had a disagreement about an unrelated issue and In her anger about that she brought up the deed situation again. She gave me an ultimatum and said that it I don’t get off the deed she won’t speak to me or see me again !!! I tried to calm things down but I’m not signing off under these circumstances. Anyone have any ideas about how to handle this ?
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Posted 2/21/22 10:19 AM  |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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What would you do …
Sorry you have to deal with it, but her anger is very suspicious. You might be right about her not giving you an inheritance. It might cause more trouble between the two of you, but maybe you can suggest that she pay you half of the current value to take your name off. At least then, if she sells the house and pockets the money, you don't have to worry about being cut out.
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| Posted 2/21/22 10:27 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Funkybutt
Sorry you have to deal with it, but her anger is very suspicious. You might be right about her not giving you an inheritance. It might cause more trouble between the two of you, but maybe you can suggest that she pay you half of the current value to take your name off. At least then, if she sells the house and pockets the money, you don't have to worry about being cut out.
. She cannot sell the house without me agreeing to it since I’m on the deed. She doesn’t have an intention of selling the house anyway. That’s what makes this so crazy. My being on the deed doesn’t affect her day to day life in any actual way. I think it’s a control thing for her.
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| Posted 2/21/22 10:37 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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What would you do …
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
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| Posted 2/21/22 10:37 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
. I was put on as a teenager. My father wanted it that way so I had a guaranteed inheritance when they divorced . As I said , the house is worth a substantial amount. I had nothing to do with the decision. It was this way for years , but recently my mom decided she wants it to change.
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| Posted 2/21/22 10:45 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
. I was put on as a teenager. My father wanted it that way so I had a guaranteed inheritance when they divorced . As I said , the house is worth a substantial amount. I had nothing to do with the decision. It was this way for years , but recently my mom decided she wants it to change.
Did your mom support this when you were a teenager? It just sounds like an odd arrangement at the time of divorce- usually you would either sell one one spouse would buy the other one out.
I don’t think she really has a leg to stand on if she agreed to this years ago unless she took you to court. It does seem somewhat unfair that she would be forced to split the proceeds of a sale with you, but if she agreed to this I suppose that’s irrelevant.
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| Posted 2/21/22 10:52 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
. I was put on as a teenager. My father wanted it that way so I had a guaranteed inheritance when they divorced . As I said , the house is worth a substantial amount. I had nothing to do with the decision. It was this way for years , but recently my mom decided she wants it to change.
Did your mom support this when you were a teenager? It just sounds like an odd arrangement at the time of divorce- usually you would either sell one one spouse would buy the other one out.
I don’t think she really has a leg to stand on if she agreed to this years ago unless she took you to court. It does seem somewhat unfair that she would be forced to split the proceeds of a sale with you, but if she agreed to this I suppose that’s irrelevant.
. She has no plans to sell. If she wanted to sell I would remove myself from the deed, and she would get the proceeds of the house, but again I don’t EVER see her selling so it’s irrelevant.
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| Posted 2/21/22 11:14 AM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
. I was put on as a teenager. My father wanted it that way so I had a guaranteed inheritance when they divorced . As I said , the house is worth a substantial amount. I had nothing to do with the decision. It was this way for years , but recently my mom decided she wants it to change.
Did your mom support this when you were a teenager? It just sounds like an odd arrangement at the time of divorce- usually you would either sell one one spouse would buy the other one out.
I don’t think she really has a leg to stand on if she agreed to this years ago unless she took you to court. It does seem somewhat unfair that she would be forced to split the proceeds of a sale with you, but if she agreed to this I suppose that’s irrelevant.
. She has no plans to sell. If she wanted to sell I would remove myself from the deed, and she would get the proceeds of the house, but again I don’t EVER see her selling so it’s irrelevant.
If this is the case and you are giving her full proceeds of the house, why are you causing a deal about it now? Just remove yourself from the deed. It sounds like you do want to have part of this house otherwise why are you refusing? Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but if that's the case just make your real intensions known to her now and stop beating around the bush about it.
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| Posted 2/21/22 11:57 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by ave1024
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by LuckyStar
I’m confused as to why you were ever put on the deed to begin with. Have you made any financial contributions toward the house?
. I was put on as a teenager. My father wanted it that way so I had a guaranteed inheritance when they divorced . As I said , the house is worth a substantial amount. I had nothing to do with the decision. It was this way for years , but recently my mom decided she wants it to change.
Did your mom support this when you were a teenager? It just sounds like an odd arrangement at the time of divorce- usually you would either sell one one spouse would buy the other one out.
I don’t think she really has a leg to stand on if she agreed to this years ago unless she took you to court. It does seem somewhat unfair that she would be forced to split the proceeds of a sale with you, but if she agreed to this I suppose that’s irrelevant.
. She has no plans to sell. If she wanted to sell I would remove myself from the deed, and she would get the proceeds of the house, but again I don’t EVER see her selling so it’s irrelevant.
If this is the case and you are giving her full proceeds of the house, why are you causing a deal about it now? Just remove yourself from the deed. It sounds like you do want to have part of this house otherwise why are you refusing? Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but if that's the case just make your real intensions known to her now and stop beating around the bush about it.
I understand what you are saying. It’s logical. I guess it feels different for me to potentially do that at some point in the future than to 100 percent give up the house right now when I’m 99.9 percent sure she won’t sell it. Yes , I do want to have a guaranteed inheritance for my child which is why I don’t want to remove myself . However , If she felt she needed to move I wouldn’t feel ethically right about keeping her from doing that. That’s not the situation now though.
Message edited 2/21/2022 12:07:46 PM.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:04 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
You’re on the deed but don’t plan on taking any profit if she does sell if so then why are you on the deed.
Did your dad give up his share the house to give to you? if so then I would keep your name on the deed because you’re entitled to half the money and that’s the only guaranteed way of getting it. Unless before you took your name off you both sign some contract that says when she sells she has to give 50% of the profit to you.
I would be suspicious why all of a sudden this is a problem. Is she seeing someone that may be pressuring her to do it? If that’s the case I would be even more suspicious.
Message edited 2/21/2022 12:11:44 PM.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:10 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by blu6385
You’re on the deed but don’t plan on taking any profit if she does sell if so then why are you on the deed.
Did your dad give up his share the house to give to you? if so then I would keep your name on the deed because you’re entitled to half the money and that’s the only guaranteed way of getting it. Unless before you took your name off you both sign some contract that says when she sells she has to give 50% of the profit to you.
I would be suspicious why all of a sudden this is a problem. Is she seeing someone that may be pressuring her to do it? If that’s the case I would be even more suspicious.
. He’s not on the deed. I think he did it to make sure I had a guaranteed inheritance. I know she won’t ever sell this house with almost 100 percent certainty. She has plenty of other money that I could see her not giving me if our relationship continues to be strained. This is a guarantee of an inheritance when she passes one day, even if she chooses to give me nothing else. I think she’s bringing it up because our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs over the last few years. I think she doesn’t trust me and has become more paranoid with age.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:19 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by blu6385
You’re on the deed but don’t plan on taking any profit if she does sell if so then why are you on the deed.
Did your dad give up his share the house to give to you? if so then I would keep your name on the deed because you’re entitled to half the money and that’s the only guaranteed way of getting it. Unless before you took your name off you both sign some contract that says when she sells she has to give 50% of the profit to you.
I would be suspicious why all of a sudden this is a problem. Is she seeing someone that may be pressuring her to do it? If that’s the case I would be even more suspicious.
. He’s not on the deed. I think he did it to make sure I had a guaranteed inheritance. I know she won’t ever sell this house with almost 100 percent certainty. She has plenty of other money that I could see her not giving me if our relationship continues to be strained. This is a guarantee of an inheritance when she passes one day, even if she chooses to give me nothing else. I think she’s bringing it up because our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs over the last few years. I think she doesn’t trust me and has become more paranoid with age.
OK so it sounds like your dad gave up his share of the house to you.
Tell her as a compromise you’ll take the name of the deed but she hast to sign a contract that says if/when she does sell you get half the profit.
Are there other siblings relatives that would get the money/house once she passes?
Either way from what you described she doesn’t sound trustworthy since you guys have a strain relationship so I would just hold your ground.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:25 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by blu6385
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by blu6385
You’re on the deed but don’t plan on taking any profit if she does sell if so then why are you on the deed.
Did your dad give up his share the house to give to you? if so then I would keep your name on the deed because you’re entitled to half the money and that’s the only guaranteed way of getting it. Unless before you took your name off you both sign some contract that says when she sells she has to give 50% of the profit to you.
I would be suspicious why all of a sudden this is a problem. Is she seeing someone that may be pressuring her to do it? If that’s the case I would be even more suspicious.
. He’s not on the deed. I think he did it to make sure I had a guaranteed inheritance. I know she won’t ever sell this house with almost 100 percent certainty. She has plenty of other money that I could see her not giving me if our relationship continues to be strained. This is a guarantee of an inheritance when she passes one day, even if she chooses to give me nothing else. I think she’s bringing it up because our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs over the last few years. I think she doesn’t trust me and has become more paranoid with age.
OK so it sounds like your dad gave up his share of the house to you.
Tell her as a compromise you’ll take the name of the deed but she hast to sign a contract that says if/when she does sell you get half the profit.
Are there other siblings relatives that would get the money/house once she passes?
Either way from what you described she doesn’t sound trustworthy since you guys have a strain relationship so I would just hold your ground.
No , I am an only child. She won’t ever agree to that. That’s why she made an ultimatum that she won’t talk to me
Anymore if I don’t get off the deed.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:38 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2050 total posts
Name:
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What would you do …
I think you should leave your name on the deed. It's what your father wanted and if something should suddenly happen to her, it would be easier to have your name there.
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| Posted 2/21/22 12:55 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: What would you do …
Sounds like your dad knew what he was doing.
I would not give up my share of the house without her buying you out.
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| Posted 2/21/22 1:59 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by ChilisWife
Sounds like your dad knew what he was doing.
I would not give up my share of the house without her buying you out.
I agree. I wouldn't remove myself. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem. Not yours.
There was obviously a reason your dad took those measures to put your name on the deed and her sudden behavior over it is definitely suspect.
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| Posted 2/21/22 2:41 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: What would you do …
Like a PP said, it sounds like your dad gave his 1/2 of the house to you and as such wanted your name on the deed to ensure that you would get his portion of the proceeds whenever it was sold. And as a fellow only child, everything is 100% easier if your name is on it along with a parent.
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| Posted 2/21/22 3:17 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by ChilisWife
Sounds like your dad knew what he was doing.
I would not give up my share of the house without her buying you out.
I agree. I wouldn't remove myself. If she doesn't like it, that's her problem. Not yours.
There was obviously a reason your dad took those measures to put your name on the deed and her sudden behavior over it is definitely suspect.
I agree.
Does not sound like she’s looking out for you. Don’t sign off.
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| Posted 2/21/22 3:55 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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What would you do …
I don't think you should have been on the house to begin with and that was sneaky on your father's part. If he wanted you to have an inheritance there are other ways to have done it. I personally do not think you are entitled to the house and if your mother is the one paying all the bills and the mortgage, just take yourself off. Why cause friction over something that is not yours.
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| Posted 2/21/22 4:12 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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What would you do …
I see both points of view. Your father gave you his half of the house and it is rightly yours. However, your mother probably paid the mortgage, insurance, property taxes, repairs, and anything else on the house for all these years. So, technically, she's entitled to more than 50%, IMO, but not 100%.
Is there a way she can buy you out? Maybe at 50% of the price at the time of the divorce, plus a percentage for inflation/appreciation? That seems like the fairest way to do it. But, if she's behaving in a spiteful way, she's not thinking about being fair. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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| Posted 2/21/22 4:50 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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What would you do …
To clarify again, she has NO plans to EVER sell this house. It would pass to me via inheritance when she passes one day, as I am on the deed. My worry is that if I go off the deed I won’t get an inheritance. The value of this home is well north of seven figures. We aren’t talking about a trivial amount of money.
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| Posted 2/21/22 5:01 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by KarenK122
I don't think you should have been on the house to begin with and that was sneaky on your father's part. If he wanted you to have an inheritance there are other ways to have done it. I personally do not think you are entitled to the house and if your mother is the one paying all the bills and the mortgage, just take yourself off. Why cause friction over something that is not yours.
. Because money equals survival and I’m not going to take an amount north of Seven figures away from my child. I’m not insane.
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| Posted 2/21/22 5:02 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: What would you do …
Your father gave it to you. This same exact thing happened to SO— the he got half the house from his parents’ divorce and his mom and him share it.
Do not take your name off the deed. She agreed to it when the divorce was finalized. It sounds like she is regretting doing that after seeing how much the price has increased.
I would see a lawyer about it, honestly.
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| Posted 2/21/22 6:05 PM |
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lmcmcl
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/15 484 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by klingklang77
Your father gave it to you. This same exact thing happened to SO— the he got half the house from his parents’ divorce and his mom and him share it.
Do not take your name off the deed. She agreed to it when the divorce was finalized. It sounds like she is regretting doing that after seeing how much the price has increased.
I would see a lawyer about it, honestly.
ITA- I was about to reply the same thing.
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| Posted 2/21/22 7:03 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
To clarify again, she has NO plans to EVER sell this house. It would pass to me via inheritance when she passes one day, as I am on the deed. My worry is that if I go off the deed I won’t get an inheritance. The value of this home is well north of seven figures. We aren’t talking about a trivial amount of money.
I think you would get the house when she passes whether or not your name is on the deed, no? Unless she leaves it to someone else in her will?
While the situation does sound odd, ultimately she agreed to this at one point and that’s her problem to deal with now.
ETA I think it’s odd (or maybe sneaky) that your dad was dead set on you getting an inheritance- from your mother’s assets.
Message edited 2/21/2022 8:28:59 PM.
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| Posted 2/21/22 8:25 PM |
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