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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22136 total posts
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What would you do …
Honestly…while she’s still your mom, healthy stable moms don’t do that to their kids. She will find something else to not speak to you about. Yes she’s your mom but protect yourself.
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Posted 2/22/22 6:12 PM  |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MissJones
Honestly…while she’s still your mom, healthy stable moms don’t do that to their kids. She will find something else to not speak to you about. Yes she’s your mom but protect yourself.
I know  it’s such an unfortunate situation. As an only child , I’ve always been close to her and supported her through so many different crises she’s had/ always been devoted / loving. I really don’t think she’s in a good place.
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| Posted 2/22/22 6:25 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: What would you do …
Ugh. What a mess.
Your dad might have meant well but he should not have put you on the deed. If he wanted to leave you some type of legacy there were other ways to do that - a trust, life insurance, etc. If he divorced her I'm assuming he knew that she might date, want to sell etc. so he effectively entangled you in a situation that is hard to get out of. I wonder if he is alive/available to support or mediate or whatever. If you need to hire a lawyer, I hope he pays for it.
It sounds like the words "inheritance" and "part ownership" are being conflated. No one is ever entitled to an inheritance from their parents, but that's not what this is. You were made part owner of the house, and whether that should have happened or not, I can't really blame you for not wanting to let go of it.
You don't have to answer these questions for us, but things to think about are how serious is she? Will she really be done with you or was she just upset? If it's the former, that's manipulative and it's harder to have sympathy for her. Would she see a mediator or otherwise be open to compromise? The ownership doesn't have to be 50/50. I'm assuming for the moment that you never contributed to the bills in an adult capacity or made any capital investments to the house, in which case if she does hire a lawyer, she could make the argument that you are really not entitled to 50% of the proceeds of a sale and that number could get whittled down anyway. So you might want to approach this attempting to compromise.
Is there a mortgage on the house? If so, in a way it's easier to solve because if you came off the deed she would need to refi anyway and then she could buy you out an agreed upon number.
Good luck. This sounds sticky AF and I don't envy you.
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| Posted 2/22/22 9:00 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by JennP
Ugh. What a mess.
Your dad might have meant well but he should not have put you on the deed. If he wanted to leave you some type of legacy there were other ways to do that - a trust, life insurance, etc. If he divorced her I'm assuming he knew that she might date, want to sell etc. so he effectively entangled you in a situation that is hard to get out of. I wonder if he is alive/available to support or mediate or whatever. If you need to hire a lawyer, I hope he pays for it.
It sounds like the words "inheritance" and "part ownership" are being conflated. No one is ever entitled to an inheritance from their parents, but that's not what this is. You were made part owner of the house, and whether that should have happened or not, I can't really blame you for not wanting to let go of it.
You don't have to answer these questions for us, but things to think about are how serious is she? Will she really be done with you or was she just upset? If it's the former, that's manipulative and it's harder to have sympathy for her. Would she see a mediator or otherwise be open to compromise? The ownership doesn't have to be 50/50. I'm assuming for the moment that you never contributed to the bills in an adult capacity or made any capital investments to the house, in which case if she does hire a lawyer, she could make the argument that you are really not entitled to 50% of the proceeds of a sale and that number could get whittled down anyway. So you might want to approach this attempting to compromise.
Is there a mortgage on the house? If so, in a way it's easier to solve because if you came off the deed she would need to refi anyway and then she could buy you out an agreed upon number.
Good luck. This sounds sticky AF and I don't envy you.
She’s not going to hire a lawyer. She just wants me to get off it and if I don’t I’m sure she will continue to pressure me and fight with me. Like I’ve said many times , she’s not selling, so this doesn’t actually impact anything tangible. I’m using the word inheritance because of her assets this is the only I would be guaranteed to get in the future even if she left everything else to someone else.
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| Posted 2/22/22 10:19 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by JennP
Ugh. What a mess.
Your dad might have meant well but he should not have put you on the deed. If he wanted to leave you some type of legacy there were other ways to do that - a trust, life insurance, etc. If he divorced her I'm assuming he knew that she might date, want to sell etc. so he effectively entangled you in a situation that is hard to get out of. I wonder if he is alive/available to support or mediate or whatever. If you need to hire a lawyer, I hope he pays for it.
It sounds like the words "inheritance" and "part ownership" are being conflated. No one is ever entitled to an inheritance from their parents, but that's not what this is. You were made part owner of the house, and whether that should have happened or not, I can't really blame you for not wanting to let go of it.
You don't have to answer these questions for us, but things to think about are how serious is she? Will she really be done with you or was she just upset? If it's the former, that's manipulative and it's harder to have sympathy for her. Would she see a mediator or otherwise be open to compromise? The ownership doesn't have to be 50/50. I'm assuming for the moment that you never contributed to the bills in an adult capacity or made any capital investments to the house, in which case if she does hire a lawyer, she could make the argument that you are really not entitled to 50% of the proceeds of a sale and that number could get whittled down anyway. So you might want to approach this attempting to compromise.
Is there a mortgage on the house? If so, in a way it's easier to solve because if you came off the deed she would need to refi anyway and then she could buy you out an agreed upon number.
Good luck. This sounds sticky AF and I don't envy you.
She’s not going to hire a lawyer. She just wants me to get off it and if I don’t I’m sure she will continue to pressure me and fight with me. Like I’ve said many times , she’s not selling, so this doesn’t actually impact anything tangible. I’m using the word inheritance because of her assets this is the only I would be guaranteed to get in the future even if she left everything else to someone else.
Gotcha. So she is just going to torture you about it like moms sometimes do lol.
I don't know if you're using the word "inheritance" only on here with us or also in discussions with your mom but I recommend you not use that language with her. You are part homeowner, period, with your name on the deed and that is a strong claim. Saying "inheritance" weakens your argument because none of us are entitled to anything from our parents. She can leave her money to whomever she wants. It also might hurt her feelings if you make it sounds like you are focused on what happens after she passes. I would frame it like "Mom, it's a big asset, and you can't logically expect me to give up my claim to part of it but I love you and I am willing to compromise."
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| Posted 2/23/22 9:29 AM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: What would you do …
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
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| Posted 2/23/22 11:17 AM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Because not all families are functional. My house and anything else I have will go to my only child. My own mother does not own a house but the OP’s situation is absolutely something I could see my own mother doing. Not all mother/daughter relationships are good. You are very lucky to have not experienced the hell that is a strained relationship with a parent.
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| Posted 2/23/22 11:31 AM |
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Jacquelina
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/11 767 total posts
Name:
Jacqueline
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Because not all families are functional. My house and anything else I have will go to my only child. My own mother does not own a house but the OP’s situation is absolutely something I could see my own mother doing. Not all mother/daughter relationships are good. You are very lucky to have not experienced the hell that is a strained relationship with a parent.
No, you're right - I am sorry. and sorry to the OP as well. It is very sad.
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| Posted 2/23/22 11:43 AM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
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| Posted 2/23/22 11:57 AM |
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Because not all families are functional. My house and anything else I have will go to my only child. My own mother does not own a house but the OP’s situation is absolutely something I could see my own mother doing. Not all mother/daughter relationships are good. You are very lucky to have not experienced the hell that is a strained relationship with a parent.
Yup. My MIL wanted my husbands life insurance in her name 100% AFTER we got married. He actually had to fight her about it. Sad.
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| Posted 2/23/22 12:02 PM |
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xosweetiexo
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/09 856 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by TTCwithHope
Please please do not take your name off the deed. I literally can’t disclose my experience with this due to legal issues, but if you remove your name you will regret it one day, DO NOT do it. When the time comes you can decide what you want to do with the money but don’t give up your rights to be involved in the decision. Don’t let her harass you into it. She will try to manipulate you, don’t allow this toxicity into your life, regardless of who it it. Something is fishy here and you should honor your father’s choice, he did this for a reason. Don’t be afraid to consult a lawyer.
ITA... don't take your name off the deed and it would be a good idea just to consult with a lawyer, just in case. If your mom chooses to ruin your relationship over something she agreed to during the divorce, then that's on her. Don't let her guilt trip you into anything.
I also don't think you need to defend your reasons to anyone on here regarding you not paying into the mortgage, etc. Your dad wanted you to be on the deed period. You are entitled to his proceeds and your mom agreed to it (at the time). Although you may think that she's not going to sell or do anything as of right now, you never know what someone's true intentions are...especially when a large amount of money is involved.
Good luck with everything. Stay strong. You're doing the right thing holding your ground.
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| Posted 2/23/22 12:32 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Of course it SHOULD go to her. No one is saying the mom should donate it to a cat rescue or give it to her boyfriend. But we literally have no legal right to our parents' property. It is not a matter of a opinion. It's a matter of the law. And it's not for the OP to clamor for or plan for. Honestly it's a bit ghoulish for anyone to walk around talking about how they are entitled to an inheritance from their parents.
She's on the deed and therefore has legal entitlements that have nothing to do with an inheritance so my point was that that was how she should center her argument.
We are also only getting the OP's side of the story here. If she is pushing the point about an inheritance with her mom I can see how the mom can be insulted and weirded out by that.
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| Posted 2/23/22 12:44 PM |
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by JennP
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Of course it SHOULD go to her. No one is saying the mom should donate it to a cat rescue or give it to her boyfriend. But we literally have no legal right to our parents' property. It is not a matter of a opinion. It's a matter of the law. And it's not for the OP to clamor for or plan for. Honestly it's a bit ghoulish for anyone to walk around talking about how they are entitled to an inheritance from their parents.
She's on the deed and therefore has legal entitlements that have nothing to do with an inheritance so my point was that that was how she should center her argument.
We are also only getting the OP's side of the story here. If she is pushing the point about an inheritance with her mom I can see how the mom can be insulted and weirded out by that.
Sounds like you have never encountered anyone whose intentions were not very good. Scammers.
The father wanted her on the deed to profit from the house years later and now, it sounds, and I believe her, the mother wants all of it.
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| Posted 2/23/22 12:57 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by JennP
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Of course it SHOULD go to her. No one is saying the mom should donate it to a cat rescue or give it to her boyfriend. But we literally have no legal right to our parents' property. It is not a matter of a opinion. It's a matter of the law. And it's not for the OP to clamor for or plan for. Honestly it's a bit ghoulish for anyone to walk around talking about how they are entitled to an inheritance from their parents.
She's on the deed and therefore has legal entitlements that have nothing to do with an inheritance so my point was that that was how she should center her argument.
We are also only getting the OP's side of the story here. If she is pushing the point about an inheritance with her mom I can see how the mom can be insulted and weirded out by that.
I still think the original poster should reach out and speak to an attorney and consider some different trusts for the property. There are some legal ramifications regarding how the property is titled currently. Suppose the original poster gets sued? This property can be attached to a settlement. Suppose the original poster gets divorced? It becomes part of the divorce and the former spouse is entitled to that property. OP currently loses the step up and cost basis and she doesn’t get the benefit of exclusion for tax purposes
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| Posted 2/23/22 1:21 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by JennP
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Of course it SHOULD go to her. No one is saying the mom should donate it to a cat rescue or give it to her boyfriend. But we literally have no legal right to our parents' property. It is not a matter of a opinion. It's a matter of the law. And it's not for the OP to clamor for or plan for. Honestly it's a bit ghoulish for anyone to walk around talking about how they are entitled to an inheritance from their parents.
She's on the deed and therefore has legal entitlements that have nothing to do with an inheritance so my point was that that was how she should center her argument.
We are also only getting the OP's side of the story here. If she is pushing the point about an inheritance with her mom I can see how the mom can be insulted and weirded out by that.
I never used that wording with my mom. I’ve just said ,repeatedly ,that I’m not comfortable getting off and I’d like to keep the status quo as it has existed for years , without a problem. I’ve reassured her that if for some reason she wanted to sell, i wouldn’t stop her etc. My bottom line that I’ve stated over and over , is that unless the house is being sold, I want to keep things as they are. The thing is, she has plenty of other money aside from the house and I’m always encouraging to spend on things , do things for herself , enjoy her money while she can. She doesn’t pay any of my bills , I don’t ask her for money etc .. basically , I haven’t given her any indication that I’m out for her money , which makes this all stranger.
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| Posted 2/23/22 1:59 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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What would you do …
From what I am reading, it sounds highly probable that her Will designates other people to her money, home, etc. (or it will do that whenever she makes one). If this home is the only thing that is a financial guarantee when she passes, i would never remove my name off the deed. Your dad put your name on it in place of his in the divorce, and your mom obviously agreed to it at the time. I think it's a completely fair compromise to have put you on the deed years ago. Don't remove your name.
Also wondering out of curiosity: What is your father's take on this whole thing? Are you on speaking terms with him still? Is he alive?
Message edited 2/23/2022 2:56:01 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/22 2:39 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
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| Posted 2/23/22 2:44 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
Message edited 2/23/2022 3:05:03 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:04 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:10 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.[/QUOTE I
Message edited 2/23/2022 3:17:17 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:16 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
. If a mom has a good kid, loves that kid and has a good relationship with that kid but willing chooses to give her all assets to someone else then she’s not a good mom and yeah ,she’s cold af.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:18 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
. If a mom has a good kid, loves that kid and has a good relationship with that kid but willing chooses to give her all assets to someone else then she’s not a good mom and yeah ,she’s cold af.
Maybe the mom wants to retire and travel the world after slaving her whole life for her kids and there are no assets left when she dies. So in this situation the mom is cold af and a bad mom?
No she isn’t.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:33 PM |
| |
|
MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
. If a mom has a good kid, loves that kid and has a good relationship with that kid but willing chooses to give her all assets to someone else then she’s not a good mom and yeah ,she’s cold af.
Maybe the mom wants to retire and travel the world after slaving her whole life for her kids and there are no assets left when she dies. So in this situation the mom is cold af and a bad mom?
No she isn’t.
Yeah but that’s a totally different situation than what I said. I’m talking about when there ARE assets left and the relationship is positive and the mom doesn’t leave it to the kid. Of course, people should spend as they like when they are alive.
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:46 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
. If a mom has a good kid, loves that kid and has a good relationship with that kid but willing chooses to give her all assets to someone else then she’s not a good mom and yeah ,she’s cold af.
Maybe the mom wants to retire and travel the world after slaving her whole life for her kids and there are no assets left when she dies. So in this situation the mom is cold af and a bad mom?
No she isn’t.
that's not what she said, though. She said if said mother HAD assets and willingly chose to give to someone else that is cold. If a mother chose to use any remaining money on herself/enjoying the last years of her life then that's totally different. But being manipulative and making the choice to withhold assets from an only child with the intention of giving to someone else is a bit odd. JMO
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| Posted 2/23/22 3:50 PM |
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|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: What would you do …
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Sash
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Jacquelina
It makes me sad that she doesnt want you to be on the deed...I mean what parent wouldnt want their assets to go to their only child.
Lets just say god forbid she died tomorrow, doesnt it make sense that your only child remain on the deed so nothing ends up in the hands of the state?
Regardless of how and when your name was put on there...I know plently of people who have now added their adult children to the deeds of their homes/condos just to make the process easier when the time does come...
One comment mentioned she has no right to her parents money...like what??? So if the mother dies, who should the money go to then??? I expect all my assets to go to my children when I pass. I gave birth to them, I raised them and I loved them. They are my world. why wouldnt I want to leave them everything?
Thanks for these words. I’m pretty shocked to see so many people say children aren’t entitled to anything. Entitled no , but barring some crazy circumstances what loving parent wouldn’t want their kids to have their assets when they are no longer there? I spend SO much on my child. Most of my discretionary income goes to her and I will leave her everything when I die. I cannot imagine the mindset of a parent who doesn’t think this way. It’s cold and disturbing , tbh. Ultimately , I don’t think my mom would actually disinherit me , but her behavior over this has been so hostile and pushy that it’s hard to trust her totally.
Because just like some parents can be jerks, children who become adults can also become little @ssholes. Every circumstance and family is different. You can’t make a sweeping statement calling a parent cold because they didn’t give their child an inheritance.
There is such a sense of entitlement on this thread.
And to answer your questions, I don’t think you should take your name off the deed but I do think you should chill with the words and how you describe the situation. I don’t think you mean it like that but like another poster said the word inheritance and it should go to me me and my kid sounds greedy. I would stick to facts, this is an arrangement your dad and mom made. Not you as you were a minor and you’re leaving it the way they arranged it.
Personally, If it was me, I’d probably just give her the house and be done with it. But my circumstances are totally different and not relatable to your family dynamics.
I said outside of extreme circumstances, ie the kid does something horrible or dangerous , he / she’ isn’t responsible enough to handle the money, then I can understand it. Absent that , I do think it’s cold and awful to not leave what you have to the children you choose to have , that you loved and raised. I will leave my kid everything when I’m gone and when I’m alive I would always help her in any possible way. That’s what being a good mom means to me.
There are plenty of excellent moms who don't leave an inheritance. No child is entitled to it. period. point. blank.
Not being left an inheritance, is not cold.
. If a mom has a good kid, loves that kid and has a good relationship with that kid but willing chooses to give her all assets to someone else then she’s not a good mom and yeah ,she’s cold af.
Maybe the mom wants to retire and travel the world after slaving her whole life for her kids and there are no assets left when she dies. So in this situation the mom is cold af and a bad mom?
No she isn’t.
that's not what she said, though. She said if said mother HAD assets and willingly chose to give to someone else that is cold. If a mother chose to use any remaining money on herself/enjoying the last years of her life then that's totally different. But being manipulative and making the choice to withhold assets from an only child with the intention of giving to someone else is a bit odd. JMO
She said a parent is cold as fuq for not giving their kids an inheritance and I’m sorry that is not true because I don’t think that child is entitled to sh!t when their parent dies. And if it’s such a beautiful harmonious relationship with rainbows and unicorns, then I’m pretty sure the person would leave their assets to their child. So that example doesn’t make any sense because it’s less likely that a parent in this great relationship with their kid would do it to spite them. I am using real life examples that would make sense of why a parent isn’t cold af for not leaving their kids assets.
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| Posted 2/23/22 4:03 PM |
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| Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 |
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