New to the site

Hi Everyone ,

I am 29 years old, my mother was my everything and now I feel like I have nothing. My mother passed away 1 year ago, and I have not yet begun to deal with her death. I am actually scared to deal with my feelings . I feel like I go through my days in a fog, pretending to be happy and okay when inside I am dying. I thought this site was a good place for me to start out with talking about what I am not talking about if that makes any sense. I dont know how to begin dealing with my feelings I just want to pretend that my mom is on vacation and that is why she is not here. ughhh I dont know if this is normal , I dont how I should be feeling b/c I do not even know .. wow this is more than I have said to anyone in a year about this .. I jsut keep it all inside and figured I need to start dong something about it.. thanks

Re: New to the site

Sometimes it is painful to think about the loss you feel, but I don't think things will get better until you start to deal with some of your feelings. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? I even found it helpful to talk to my siblings or other friends who had lost a parent.

Re: New to the site

It must feel so good to talk. After my mom died, I was so busy taking care of everyone else that I kept everything inside. I also spent a long time being so angry - especially at her. I focused on the bad to ease the pain and loss. I finally started seeing a bereavment counselor who really helped me deal with things. It was a long and sometimes painful road, but it helped me tremendously. And believe me, sometimes I think it is a cruel joke or a dream and she is just going to walk through the door. I guess I just realized that the more time I spent wishing and dreaming about the past, I was missing so much of the hear and now. Nothing will ever take her place, but good people and a positive outlook will make each day a little more tolerable.

Keep on openind up and talking! It will help!

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Re: New to the site

welcome and it does really help to talk. my mom has been in california on a realtor conference since feb 2005 and she will remain there until i feel comfortable with the fact that she's not coming back. there is no wrong way to grieve.

Re: New to the site

I am so sorry.
I can actually feel the pain in your post.
I totally understand as I share a lot of your feelings. I feel as I am still in quite a bit of shock and my mom passed away in Jan 99. It is normal. You are dealing with it in the best possible way you know how and it is always going to be a struggle.

FM if you need to talk!!

Re: New to the site

I am so sorry.
I think it's completely normal for you to be in fog. My best friend has ALWAYS been so understanding about how I deal with my loss. A few years ago her brother died in a car accident, and now we can relate to eachother on a whole new level. A sad, heartbreaking level. But, it's great to be able to talk to eachother and finish eachothers sentences about how we're feeling. It makes us both feel normal. She went to therapy as soon as it happened. Her whole world was upside down (as we can relate).
I hope there are people you feel you can talk to with an open, understanding ear. Therapy has been a big help for me in the past, I'm actually thinking of going back soon. I'm glad you found this site, welcome!

Re: New to the site

I feel as if i could have written your post. It's amazing how we all are going through the same emotions. i never knew other people felt exactly how i do. that's whyit definitely helps to talk with others in similar situations. i have also found that therapy helps too- im not sure why or how, but i feel "ok" when i walk out of the office. it's such a rollercoaster. but if you ever want to talk/vent, PLEASE fm me.

Re: New to the site

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Message edited 1/30/2009 10:39:34 AM.

Re: New to the site

It's definitely normal to feel that way. You'll never get passed it, but hopefully talking about it will make things a little easier. We're all here for you if you need to talk.

Re: New to the site

You know Kerri.... we really should consider that drink thing we talked about a few months ago.... I can truly relate! (figure out who this is yet)... talking it out here helps, TRUST ME