I'm sad

I don't know what's wrong with me, I am so sad, I can't stop crying and I have just had enough. Why I am defective? Why can't I just have a baby? I am so tired of it all. I am on one hand excited to do IVF, but now I can't go home to England for Christmas as I'll be in treatment, I haven't been home since January. I feel that this whole TTC thing has made me into a not nice person and I am boring, I have zero self esteem and I've had enough. I spend my life thinking about it, enough already. Sorry to go on, I'm day 2 of this tearfull meltdown. I need a cuddle from my Mum and she is 3500 miles away, DH is at work and both the bloody cats are asleep!
Sorry to vent, I am feeling better for that.
Probably a bit homesick & AF is a day or two away. I'll get over it.

Message edited 11/16/2006 2:05:56 AM.

Re: I'm sad

i am so sorry - it su cks - I wish I was there to give you a hug and have a glass of wine. once the cycle starts though the days will fly and don't forget Christmas really is only one day and its probably going to be miserable and raining in England from Christmas to the new year, much better to go in the spring with a big baby belly

Hang in there

Re: I'm sad

I am so sorry, I know how you feel. Sometimes you just want to have a "pity party". It will get better once your cycle starts, then as Red said, you can go visit your Mum with a big preggo belly

Re: I'm sad

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I'm sorry, I know how you feel.

Re: I'm sad

I am soooo sorry, I know how you feel all too well. This journey really wreaks havoc on your life. Can you home for a visit before you start cycling? I find it really helps to have a life OUTSIDE of IF.

Re: I'm sad

I'm so sorry you're sad. I think we've all been there. We have our meltdowns and then we push on. That's what we do. You need to have a good cry and then you'll be ready to go! Here's some and have yourself a nice glass of wine and a warm bath tonight and just relax!! We're always here for you to vent to!!

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To say I can relate is an understatement.

I know I'm not your mum, but here's plenty of

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P.S. honey, you have fertility issues, but YOU are NOT defective. I'll say that again. YOU are NOT defective.

We're here and we know how you feel. Love and hugs.

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Re: I'm sad

Thanks so much everyone

I am feeling a bit better today, but still a bit fragile, with a headache & really attractive puffy eyes from all that crying!

I went to bed b4 DH came home last night and went into kitchen this morning to a HUGE bunch of flowers - which of course made me cry! He is such a sweetheart I love him so much.

Thanks for all your support it REALLY helped me.

Message edited 11/16/2006 2:16:09 PM.

Re: I'm sad

It gets better, I promise

Re: I'm sad

Just wanna send you some hugs.

Re: I'm sad

i'm sorry you are so sad. let the feelings come. it stinks that it's so much up and down, but you WILL be on the up again!!



ps to your dh for being so thoughtful. you will need each other for support through this journey, so it's great to nurture each other, like he did.

Re: I'm sad

I am sorry that you are going through a rough time

It sounds like your dh is a great guy.

One of my really good friends here is form the UK and she gets very homesick as well

We are all here for you on your good days as well as your bad ones. ( anyone going through this process is SO entitled to bad days )

Feel better

Re: I'm sad

I just read your post today.......I hope that you are feeling better!