What can I do to lift my spirits?

I need to try to find something TTC related, like a book, a CD..something to try and find some hope.

Any of the long timers have any advice??

Someone on another board say you have to "choose your attitude" and that sounds great in theory..but is too hard for me this month to put into practice.

I know I sound selfish when so many others have such a worse time, try so much longer...and Im depressed for them and for me.........and it STINKS!

I told DH tonight that we will do this 1st IUI and if it fails maybe take a month or two off...try naturally but not all the charting etc...maybe that will get me back into it?

Has anyone taken "Time off"and felt better or did you feel worse wasting the time?

I find myself crying when ever I see kids/babies.

I feel like some people do not realize how lucky they are...they have this gift of a life to raise and love unconditionally and they dont seem to appreciate it at all times..

I have wanted to be a mom since I was about 9 years old and dreamed about it my entire life, and I cannot stand that I cant have it NOW...and what if I can never have it??

sorry- pitiful vent, I needed to just get it out..thanks all for listening!

Message edited 8/14/2005 8:24:38 PM.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

I wish I could offer you some good advice ( re: time off) but I just started ttc and sometimes, I even get frustrated.

I think that this road is very long, and that we all must have faith.

I feel that I can relate to much of what you said and just wanted to send you hugs and I sincerely hope that you will be able to find a solution that works for you and your dh.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

I dont really have much advice for you but I can feel your pain. Sometimes just knowing that others feel the same, helps a bit. Please take it easy and at the risk of sounding like every other cliche that we are all tired of, try not to think about it too much. I know...easier said than done. Even when I try not to think about it, some how, same way its first and foremost on my mind again.

Just please know we are all here for each other and whenever you need to vent or anything else, we will listen! Sometimes I wonder if my time will ever come although I havent been trying as long as some others, but its still very hard to deal with. When I start thinking like that, I realize that we will just have to deal with the cards that are dealt to us. Its not easy and it hurts like h e l l but we are all good people who deserve to bring beautiful children into this world and raise them they way we have always dreamed of. Your in my thoughts and prayers!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Donna- I am soo sorry you are on this bumpy road! I really hope you get to turn off it soon.
As to what to do, you really need to find what works best for you. A few things I do, when AF shows I get ******! I scream and I cry. I allow myself to feel all of the emotion and allow myself to get it all out. By the end of the first night of AF I am usually physically and emotionally drained. ON CD3 I go in for bloodwork so I use that day as my turn around day. I take the previous month and its negativity and reminder of failure and I file away; harping over it is NOT going to help me. So when I get that blood drawn I remind myself that this is a new month filled with infinite possibilities and that I need to stay positive because the follies that are just now starting to grow could one day be my child!
The next week or so is filled with hope as I take meds and OPK's. I like to think, how many follies are in there, is it just one? How big is it? and then before I go in for an ultrasound I like to make a game of it and make my own predictions for the week. I get to fuill my POAS urge for quite a few days and become obsessed with the opk, because I can't and won't miss my surge for the IUI. The first 5 days of the 2ww are BORING to me. Once day 6 hits though, I remind myself that any ONE of the next 8(ish) days could be the day that I have implantation and/or a postitive hpt. My LP is about 14/15 days so I test like a mad woman from 8dpo thru 12/13 DPO. If I have not gotten a positive two days before AF is slated to show I start mentally preparing myself for her arrival and if and when she does, I start this whole process all over again.
This has been a dark road for me. I have lost friends because of this road, I have sunk into a daily depression and have come home and gone to bed at 6pm. But once I realize I am sinking I talk to my friends on my TTC buddy group, I talk it out with DH and I try to remind myself that being sad/angry/fustrated/depressed or any other negative feeling is not going to help me in the long run get that positive that I wish and pray for.
I am here if and when you need me.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Donna Im sorry TBAF came for you. I was so hopeful for you this month.

WHat helps me is take a few days awat from LIF and this month I even stopped charting (believe it or not) and that helped. A lot!

Stay on schedule for your IUI and use the OPKs (or blood work) and maybe forget about temping. It really is a nice break.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

I don't temp anymore either - it was making me crazy. I've also had to take days away from LIF/FF/TCOYF. etc.

I watch lots of comedies at night (I can't wait until the fall TV season starts and I have something to watch every night!)

I just try to keep as busy as possible and I try to tire myself out during the day so that I don't lay awake at night thinking all those bad thoughts that tend to creep in.

I also journal - even if it's only for 5 minutes. I write down at least 3 things I was happy for that day right before I go to sleep. Sounds corny, but it helps me focus on the positive.

And I've decided that if Ice Cream every night makes me happy then I'm going to have Ice Cream every night!!

Lots of

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

I know exactly how you feel. Maybe you need a cycle to take a break and go away for the weekend with DH. This month we are taking off, and starting IVF. It feels so good to not have to make an appointment for blood and sono's.
I wish you all the best, keep your head up

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Donna,

I'm so sorry you're feeling down, but I can understand and sympathize. We have high hopes every month and are let down each time. When that happens to me on the first day of AF, I cry my heart out. (sometimes on the second day too). It helps, but the sadness doesn't go away, especially when I see PG women and/or babies. What really gets me is when I see young girls who are PG (I see a lot where I work) These girls are 13, 14, 15 years old and I just can't comprehend it. And they tell me it "just happend".

I have no words of wisdom, only . I know our day will come!!!

Stay strong!!!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

WOW! You guys are the best. I cant believe how much your words helped me. It really did!
im trying....Thanks so much for the advice, Im giving lots of your words and advice a try!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Try reading Laughin'fertility by Lisa Safran. It's for all of us "baby-making challenged" people.

I recommend not doing anything TTC related if you really want a break. The best therapy for me was going on vacation, and not turning on the tv or going near a computer. Just jam-packing my days with touristy fun things.

Here are some to someone who truly understands.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

I have no advice just

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Donna,

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Not only with TTC but also with the repeated monthly showing of TBAF. While I cannot give any advice since I am still not officially TTC - I did read what the other ladies wrote and I hope you can gather some strength from their words.

I can however meet you for that drink, dinner, dessert or just some good ole fashioned shopping - a girls night out long overdue!

Here are many for you.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Donna -

I want you to know that I read your post earlier at work but didn't want to reply then cuz I knew it was going to take a while. I truly feel for you. I understand how you feel and I know what it's like to be really truly depressed about AF. The only thing I can say is that I have just tried to focus on many other things. I am really trying not to think about TTC any more than I have to. I have also given up on temping (although the thermometer is still on my nitestand) and charting.
I am trying to rely on the RE in regards as to what is going on and have learned to steel myself for disappointment. I am living the mantra "Hope for the best but expect the worst". I find the letdown isn't as bad if I do that. I am also facing the realization that this may not happen and if so I have to learn to face the fact that we will not have a child. I figure that if I don't expect it, if I do get that BFP it will be the best day of my life.

This is the hardest struggle I've had to go through. And I am sure it's the same for you. All I can offer is to keep your chin up and try not to let AF get you down. You have an excellent chance of getting PG, it's just going to have to be the right time for you.

All my love and lots of Baby Dust of course!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

thank you gerty!

I know you all understand, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

these emotions are so uncontrollable and overwhelming.

I have never wanted something more, and yet felt so far from it...

you guys are amazing people..thank you!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Posted by dooodles

Donna,

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Not only with TTC but also with the repeated monthly showing of TBAF. While I cannot give any advice since I am still not officially TTC - I did read what the other ladies wrote and I hope you can gather some strength from their words.

I can however meet you for that drink, dinner, dessert or just some good ole fashioned shopping - a girls night out long overdue!

Here are many for you.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Posted by neeniebean86

Posted by dooodles

Donna,

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Not only with TTC but also with the repeated monthly showing of TBAF. While I cannot give any advice since I am still not officially TTC - I did read what the other ladies wrote and I hope you can gather some strength from their words.

I can however meet you for that drink, dinner, dessert or just some good ole fashioned shopping - a girls night out long overdue!

Here are many for you.

i couldnt have said it any better!

Message edited 8/15/2005 9:16:45 PM.

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by neeniebean86

Posted by dooodles

Donna,

I am so sorry you are struggling right now. Not only with TTC but also with the repeated monthly showing of TBAF. While I cannot give any advice since I am still not officially TTC - I did read what the other ladies wrote and I hope you can gather some strength from their words.

I can however meet you for that drink, dinner, dessert or just some good ole fashioned shopping - a girls night out long overdue!

Here are many for you.

i couldnt have said it any better!

then we can all go? and you'll listen to me complain?????????

?
that was a joke I swear!

Love you two!

Re: What can I do to lift my spirits?

Posted by dm24angel
then we can all go? and you'll listen to me complain?????????

?
that was a joke I swear!

Love you two!