I need some advice

so, as some of you may know, I got a bfp at the beginning of last week. here's my problem. I have confided in one friend about IF. we've been friends since elementray school, over 15 years. Just so happens, she is dealing with secondary IF. so we've been kind of going through this together. however, she's been dealing with SIF longer that I was dealing with PIF. now, i'm not sure whether to tell her yet or not. I'm going for a sono in a week from friday (at jsut over six weeks). I'd like to maybe wait till then, but I don't want to lie to her when we talk next, which will definitly be before then. since we always talk about what's going on with treatment.
But - I don't want her to feel bad.
what to do?

Re: I need some advice

My friend and I sort of went through the same thing! Her and I started to try to concieve at the same time. She had alot of gyno problems PCOS and other problems including many surgeries.So I thought for sure I would become pregnant before her. She did one IUI and was pregnant. She was sooo afraid to tell me. I could tell something was different with her so she finally told me! I was so happy for her Although it was hard for me and yes I did cry when I was by myself but I was happy for her!! She has since had the baby and I am still trying to concieve but she has been my greatest support (besides DH). I definately think you should tell her. I think I was more upset that she was keeping this from me then the fact that I wasn't pregnant and she was. One of you was bound to Get pregnant first, then again you never know she might have a secret too! I hope this helps!

Re: I need some advice

This is a hard one...but I would tell her when you feel comfortable. A good friend would be happy for you.

Re: I need some advice

I had a similar issue years ago-I felt bad and delayed telling a friend.
I did not want her to feel bad, in turn--I think she felt worse--she got mad and things were different after that.
She wound up finding out on her own.
I would just tell her--she will be happy for u.
and congrats

Re: I need some advice

What would you want her to do if the situation were reversed?

I would think she would want to know instead of feeling like you were hiding something from her.

Re: I need some advice

Definitely tell her - I have had the same sort of situation. You can't get PG at the same time and she knows that. She will be much happier in the long run if you let her know right away.

Re: I need some advice

Posted by calendargrl

This is a hard one...but I would tell her when you feel comfortable. A good friend would be happy for you.

Re: I need some advice

I agree, tell her. If she feels like you are uncomfortable around her she will be hurt even more

Re: I need some advice

I would tell her.

And I bet she will be ok with it. When I told the girls Im close with on her who are still fighting IF , they were more then supportive, they were excited and its because they are good good friends. Your friend will appreciate your honesty .

Re: I need some advice

I would tell her too, I was in this same situation and it was better to be honest. A true friend will be happy for you - even if she is sad for herself. Also I found when going through IF that when I heard about women getting g, it was inspiring to me. Gave me hope...