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JealousJealous
LIF Zygote
Member since 12/06 2 total posts
Name:
katrina
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Jealous? Vent.
I have been a member of this board for a long time and I decided to post this under a disguised name...
I have been a member of the TTC list and I have to say that I have been having overwhelming feeling of jealously that I can't turn off. The jealously is towards people that are pregnant. I have a few co workers, and several friends that are currently pregnant, and a few of them weren't even planned and it just makes me so jealous.
Don't get me wrong. I am 100 percent happy for these people. But I can't help feeling jealous and a little discouraged. I hate feeling this way too.
What triggered it this morning was a girl that I am friends with started wearing her maternity clothes so now it's obvious that she is pregnant and it just makes me so jelaous.
Sorry for the vent. I am just feeling blah.
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Posted 12/18/06 12:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
It is a very natural feeling. I get that way too sometimes.
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| Posted 12/18/06 12:40 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Honestly, I haven't started feeling this way yet BUT, that said, if this TTC thing goes on for much longer...I can 100% bet that I will be feeling the EXACT same way  Hang in there! It will be our time soon 
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| Posted 12/18/06 1:21 PM |
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Secret4Now
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/06 411 total posts
Name:
In due time. No pun intended.
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Ok, this may sound very strange and even rude.
I was jealous, yet happy for many preggo people around me.
Then a "friend" of mine told me that she is pregnant. This is someone who already has a child and is really not a good mom. Some of it is because she still parties and some of it is because she is just not intelligent enough to do what is best for the son she has. She is not even healthy physically.
As soon as she told me, I realized that being able to get pregnant does not say a thing about who you are or how you will do as a parent. I have NOT been dwelling on the fact that it seems unfair. I've been more interested in the idea that if it takes me longer, it does not mean much about me or DH. Also, this makes me wonder if there is any truth to the theories of "survival of the fittest." you would think that as more people get pregnant, I'd feel jealous. This person's announcement enabled me to put away jealousy.
I have another friend who was very proud to be pregnant and felt that just becoming pregnant meant that she is a super wonderful person. But I no longer see pregnancy alone as something that speaks to a person's qualities. Something to enjoy--yes.
I know, 1,000 pregnant ladies are about to beat me over the head. I will probably have to clarify some of this.
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| Posted 12/18/06 1:29 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Posted by Secret4Now
Ok, this may sound very strange and even rude.
I was jealous, yet happy for many preggo people around me.
Then a "friend" of mine told me that she is pregnant. This is someone who already has a child and is really not a good mom. Some of it is because she still parties and some of it is because she is just not intelligent enough to do what is best for the son she has. She is not even healthy physically.
As soon as she told me, I realized that being able to get pregnant does not say a thing about who you are or how you will do as a parent. I have NOT been dwelling on the fact that it seems unfair. I've been more interested in the idea that if it takes me longer, it does not mean much about me or DH. Also, this makes me wonder if there is any truth to the theories of "survival of the fittest." you would think that as more people get pregnant, I'd feel jealous. This person's announcement enabled me to put away jealousy.
I have another friend who was very proud to be pregnant and felt that just becoming pregnant meant that she is a super wonderful person. But I no longer see pregnancy alone as something that speaks to a person's qualities. Something to enjoy--yes.
I know, 1,000 pregnant ladies are about to beat me over the head. I will probably have to clarify some of this.
I don't really understand your view I guess. Are you saying that previously you thought being pregnant meant the person was a wonderful person? Not the case, strictly a matter of biology!
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| Posted 12/18/06 1:56 PM |
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I think what you are feeling is completely normal. We are not really TTC full force yet (if that makes any sense) but sometimes I see preg ladies or ladies w/babies and I get jealous.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:02 PM |
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Posted by missus-hbradio
I think what you are feeling is completely normal. We are not really TTC full force yet (if that makes any sense) but sometimes I see preg ladies or ladies w/babies and I get jealous.
I feel the exact same way.
I get little pangs of jealousy even though we are not planning on TTC for at least another 6 months.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:11 PM |
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runlikethewind
Love my babies!
Member since 12/06 2941 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I am with you - I feel as if the whole world is getting pregnant around me. I guess I need to chill out as I have not been TTC that long, but I am getting nervous as I feel I'm getting older. I would think it is completely normal to be jealous - especially since many of us are in the age bracket where women are wanting babies.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:15 PM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Aww Dont worry...You will be wearing them soon as well! 
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:25 PM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Posted by scarletbegonia
Posted by missus-hbradio
I think what you are feeling is completely normal. We are not really TTC full force yet (if that makes any sense) but sometimes I see preg ladies or ladies w/babies and I get jealous.
I feel the exact same way.
I get little pangs of jealousy even though we are not planning on TTC for at least another 6 months.
I also feel this occassionally-- we decided that if things go according to plan, that we would TTC in 6 months, but I still get this. I think it's only normal, as long as you don't let it consume you, or guide your decisions I think it is healthy and can reaffirm your being ready for this next big step.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:28 PM |
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Hi-Fi55
12 years...wow....
Member since 2/06 2984 total posts
Name:
Dianne
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I can completely understand being jealous about other people being preggo. I think it's natural. Every time, I hear someone announce they are preggo, I only can dream what it would like to be me.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:35 PM |
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SweetCin
My green-eyed boy
Member since 5/05 13499 total posts
Name:
Cin
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I can totally understand...we were ttc & I'd get sooooo jealous when I heard girls were preggo & that month it just didn't take....I was like, why isn't it me. I was happy for them, but just felt like it should be me and why them & not us. I'm sure you'll be preggo soon enough 
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:53 PM |
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Secret4Now
LIF Toddler
Member since 12/06 411 total posts
Name:
In due time. No pun intended.
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Posted by melijane
Posted by Secret4Now
Ok, this may sound very strange and even rude.
I was jealous, yet happy for many preggo people around me.
Then a "friend" of mine told me that she is pregnant. This is someone who already has a child and is really not a good mom. Some of it is because she still parties and some of it is because she is just not intelligent enough to do what is best for the son she has. She is not even healthy physically.
As soon as she told me, I realized that being able to get pregnant does not say a thing about who you are or how you will do as a parent. I have NOT been dwelling on the fact that it seems unfair. I've been more interested in the idea that if it takes me longer, it does not mean much about me or DH. Also, this makes me wonder if there is any truth to the theories of "survival of the fittest." you would think that as more people get pregnant, I'd feel jealous. This person's announcement enabled me to put away jealousy.
I have another friend who was very proud to be pregnant and felt that just becoming pregnant meant that she is a super wonderful person. But I no longer see pregnancy alone as something that speaks to a person's qualities. Something to enjoy--yes.
I know, 1,000 pregnant ladies are about to beat me over the head. I will probably have to clarify some of this.
I don't really understand your view I guess. Are you saying that previously you thought being pregnant meant the person was a wonderful person? Not the case, strictly a matter of biology!
Well, sort of but not really. I feel as if there are people in my life who see getting pregnant as a sign that the person is a wonderful person, even if they do not put that sentiment to words. Also, I believe that many people who have to try for a long time to get preggo do start to feel as if the problems getting pregnant say something about them as a person, or they start to wonder if they deserve to get pregnant. I think that there are some unspoken feelings that can come up and I want to face those feelings head on and show myself that no one should feel that way.
I agree, it is strictly a matter of biology.
Message edited 12/18/2006 2:55:03 PM.
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| Posted 12/18/06 2:53 PM |
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Lauren
Very Happy!
Member since 10/06 3917 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I think it's totally natural. Don't beat yourself up over it and just let it pass. It's ok to vent about it!
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| Posted 12/18/06 4:22 PM |
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LisaI
Momma's Little Beans
Member since 1/06 3923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Its a normal feeling, I have had it many of times and it won't again away until I am again pregnant.
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| Posted 12/18/06 4:29 PM |
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Sorry to hijack - I just wanted to share....
It took a while for DH to get divorced from his exwife... I was 32 when we got married...
Before we got engaged, and I thought we wouldn't get married for a long, long time, I went through a major depression. I wanted kids more than anything, and got it in my head that it wasn't going to happen for a long time...
then the jealousy hit - big time. I almost cried when I heard someone - anyone - was pregnant. When a woman I know proudly told me her daughter was pregnant again, I went home and cried to DH all night.
When DH's sister in law had her baby and we visited in the hospital, I was a basket case in the room looking at the little girl... I had another night of crying that night....
I passed by clothing stores, little pairs of shoes, etc with sucha painful feeling. Buying xmas gifts and bday gifts of little outfits was a heartbreak for me....
The ironic thing was that by the time we got married, it eased up a lot, and I wasn't even thinking of having a baby yet when we conceived.
Yes, I still wanted a baby and it was a discussion between me and DH, however, the moment I finally came to peace with myself, I discovered I was pregnant.
I thought it would be difficult for me to get PG - and I KNOW I would be so sad and jealous and upset if I had trouble getting PG, and other people around me were waddling around painiting their nurseries....
I think about you ladies everyday, and pray that this will all happen for you. I know I come onto this board because I identify with you ladies. I know how much it means to want something that you have no control over.
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| Posted 12/18/06 4:53 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I was 100% jealous of EVERY pregnant person I saw and to be honest, now that Im pregnant, Im STILL jealous in a way. I think, Oh I bet they got PG right away, etc....
So I do understand how you feel and its NORMAL. Dont let yourself feel bad over it.
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| Posted 12/18/06 4:54 PM |
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I get that way too and then I ask how old the woman is and if she is younger than me I always justify it (and my feelings) by saying "Oh she is more fertile at that age!" 
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| Posted 12/18/06 5:19 PM |
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I get a little jealous, but only some of time time.
Yesterday a friend gave birth to a baby girl and the jealousy thought did not cross my mind until I read these posts. Why am I not jealous in this situation? Because this is a friend who will never rub it in and who would be there for me if the tables were turned.
She gave her baby one of my favorite names. I guess I could feel jealous of that but it made me happy that we have the same taste.
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| Posted 12/18/06 6:18 PM |
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alexlynn7
Big brother to be!
Member since 9/06 6314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
i welcome this chance to vent.
i struggle with jealousy every single day. in the context of my job i tend to see lots of women who abuse substances. lots of them have multiple children. just today, for example, i discharged a woman who has six children. SIX. she is able to care for ZERO of them. they have all been farmed away to foster homes.
my thought to myself in that situation was, here is this person who can't give her kids a home and she has SIX. how is it that i can't even have ONE?
on one hand, i understand that it's natural to feel this way. on the other hand, i'm deeply ashamed of myself for thinking this way. i am just learning to deal with it in the moment and then put it away and not let it interfere with my work. but it's extremely difficult...
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| Posted 12/18/06 6:35 PM |
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LIeratHeart
LIF Infant
Member since 12/06 132 total posts
Name:
Cheri
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I am completely jealous. I see people who are pregnant and with babies and just want to cry!! With all that has been going on this week (and if I really did lose this one it will be my second miscarriage in a matter of 4 months) I feel like I am being punished. I hate people telling me "well you're only 22 you have time"! I own a home, have a great husband and a great job...I don't WANT to wait so stop trying to think that is comforting...IT's NOT!!
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| Posted 12/18/06 7:16 PM |
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Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!
Member since 5/05 1939 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
I understand all too well how you feel. 3 out of my 4 best friends are pregnant. All have gotten pregnant in the time we've been trying with nothing.
After one of them droning on about morning sickness and how miserable she is, I had to hand her her head. I told her that there are a LOT of good people out there who would KILL to feel as crummy as she feels. I can't stand people complaining about being pregnant.
SHUT UP! Don't you get it, I would trade my fertility testing for your morning sickness ANY DAY!?!?!?!
  
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| Posted 12/18/06 9:07 PM |
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JealousJealous
LIF Zygote
Member since 12/06 2 total posts
Name:
katrina
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
OK - yesterday I posted this....today, I come into the office and one of the guys I work with announces that him and his wife (who I am friends with) are pregnant! I am happy for them, but it's just ironic that I openly vent yesterday about this...I will just have to deal! Thanks ladies! You are all awesome!
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| Posted 12/19/06 9:56 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
Having dealt with recurrent preg. loss I do know the feeling of why not me, what did I do wrong. But this is self pity. My husband has a view that when the time is right it will happen for us. It is great to have that support when I feel like a fatalist. I ride this roller coaster every day!
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| Posted 12/19/06 10:07 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Jealous? Vent.
We are not even TTC yet, and I definitely get those "pangs" when I see a pregnant woman.
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| Posted 12/19/06 4:09 PM |
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