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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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My husband left......
me with a house full of screaming babies
I dont know what is wrong with Christopher. It seems like his colic is back. I know they both have been sick, but they are feeling better. Just a little cough here and there. But when we get home and all settled in from picking them up at my inlaws he cries like he has such bad gas. I know what mkes him feel better, but I have to console Matthew because he has been cranky lately, and he NEVER cries.
Well, DH was at his wits end and started acting like it was in the beginning. He was a ranting lunatic and said he couldnt take the crying anymore and left and has been gone for 2 hours
I finally got him to go to sleep after I put the vacuum on.
He told me he has no life now and cant deal with the crying. We usually tag team with Christopher but Matthew was cranky as well.
I dont know what to do. I thought we were making such great progress
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Posted 1/9/07 8:58 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Re: My husband left......
I'm so sorry to hear that. I know its A LOT when both babies are screaming at one time, and it doesn't help that you could have help but your DH went out. Hopefully he cooled off and is much calmer and can deal when he gets home. Any chance you can go out for a drive when he gets home???? 
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:03 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Diane I am so sorry!!! I really don't know what to say.
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:03 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by FireIslandLove
I'm so sorry to hear that. I know its A LOT when both babies are screaming at one time, and it doesn't help that you could have help but your DH went out. Hopefully he cooled off and is much calmer and can deal when he gets home. Any chance you can go out for a drive when he gets home????
I wish, but Im so tired. I know it is hard, but I dont lose my patience as quickly as he does. I was calm as can be....Im just upset that he left and has NOT been back and that he feels the way he feels.
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:04 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: My husband left......
Oh lord Diane...im so sorry. I hope venting helps get some of it out.
Do you have any friends near by that can come and help you??
As far as DH goes, I dont want to overstep my bounds , but this is a big issue sweetie. You cant go on like this. Its not fair to you. Why does HE get to leave?
Have you tried leaving him one day, see how he likes it?
I think you should consider counseling or something...obviously once things settle down for you's both some more.
He doesnt get the "option" to say he cant take it. He has NO choice....and he HAS to somehow be made aware of this. Wish I had the magical way of how to make him see it.
I wish I could help somehow....
Stay sane....
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:06 PM |
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by Diane
Posted by FireIslandLove
I'm so sorry to hear that. I know its A LOT when both babies are screaming at one time, and it doesn't help that you could have help but your DH went out. Hopefully he cooled off and is much calmer and can deal when he gets home. Any chance you can go out for a drive when he gets home????
I wish, but Im so tired. I know it is hard, but I dont lose my patience as quickly as he does. I was calm as can be....Im just upset that he left and has NOT been back and that he feels the way he feels.
I wish there was something I could do for you - if you lived closer I'd come help you. It sounds like you guys need to go out to dinner one night alone or be alone and really talk about things.
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:09 PM |
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AlohaMa
Never Forget
Member since 2/06 2735 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by FireIslandLove
Posted by Diane
Posted by FireIslandLove
I'm so sorry to hear that. I know its A LOT when both babies are screaming at one time, and it doesn't help that you could have help but your DH went out. Hopefully he cooled off and is much calmer and can deal when he gets home. Any chance you can go out for a drive when he gets home????
I wish, but Im so tired. I know it is hard, but I dont lose my patience as quickly as he does. I was calm as can be....Im just upset that he left and has NOT been back and that he feels the way he feels.
I wish there was something I could do for you - if you lived closer I'd come help you. It sounds like you guys need to go out to dinner one night alone or be alone and really talk about things.
I agree completely... a little alone time goes a long way. I hope things are better when he returns. I think you need to get out with other twin mommies who have been there!!!
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:14 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Diane I was in a very similar situation when DS was born. DH decided on his own to go to counseling after he lost his patience and yelled at Ryan while I was at a wake, he was only about 2 months then.
Therapy really helped and 4 years later we go again and it is so helpful. I know its hard with 2 babies at home, but if you can make an hour a week to go to couples therapy it will help ALOT!
Please let me know if there is anything I can do, even if its just listening
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:18 PM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Oh Diane
You are juggling so much right now and have had a lot of stress these past several months.
You've been through a lot (mom, MIL not being a reliable daycare, going back to work)
I agree with the previous poster... why does he get to leave? No one gets to leave the situation. He needs to work with you as a team and help support each other.
I really wished I lived closer. I'd help you anyway I could.
Definitely get in touch with the Suffolk twins group. I know the Nassau one has a big sister/little sister program for mom's where you are paired up with a BTDT twin mommy.
Just keep thinking about Sunday. We'll all brainstorm suggestions to help you.
Hang in there
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| Posted 1/9/07 9:38 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: My husband left......
Diane -- I have nothing to add but am sending you tons of and  that DH can deal better in the future.
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| Posted 1/9/07 10:43 PM |
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halisa
adore
Member since 7/06 2168 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: My husband left......
i am so sorry you are struggling, diane. i pray that you and dh can get the help and support you need.
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| Posted 1/9/07 11:02 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Oh Diane I am so sorry all this crap you are going through.
However, I do want to say that i do not think it is right that your DH walked out of your house with 2 sceaming babies and was gone for over 2 hours. A walk around a block will cool someone down, 2 hours is a little ridiculous. We have all been there when you have reached your breaking point, and I have walked away from them as has DH, but we never leave the other one to deal with it. It's a team effort.
Sounds like you need to have a big heart to heart with DH. I know you had issues about him not wanting to change diapers among other things. You created these babies togehter and you have to raise them together. It's not fair to you or the kids when he walks out and disappears for hours on end. And what would of happened if you were out last night?? He can't just walk out.
Hang in there.
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| Posted 1/10/07 8:21 AM |
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burberrygirl
so happy!!
Member since 1/07 2091 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: My husband left......
Diane, I hope things are better. It is good that you stayed calm. We are here to help!
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| Posted 1/10/07 8:27 AM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: My husband left......
How are things today Diane?
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| Posted 1/10/07 8:47 AM |
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pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice
Member since 5/05 9612 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Diane I am so sorry to hear this My DH and I have been fighting ALOT also, it definitely puts a big strain on your marraige. I am so sorry he left you with the two of them crying. You are an amazing mother. Hang in there
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| Posted 1/10/07 9:10 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My husband left......
Thanks ladies.....Well, we had a LONG talk when he came back and told him that I know it gets stressful, but we have to work through this together. He just lost it. I told him when you are on the urge to lose it, go into the basement, take a quick walk outside, or take a drive around the block, but what he did was unacceptable and was NOT fair to me. I have more patience with them , and just put the vacuum on and it put Christopher to sleep.
I just dont know aht is going on with him, and Mtthew is waking up every 4 hours hungry after they were sleeping through the night so well
Now that we are going to finally put them in their cribs (totally our fault because we should have had this construction done sooner) it will be rough...but willing to fight the battle.
He just feels we have no time together, which is true but I told him to hang in there it will get better.
Well, not to bore you with the details...thanks for listening and look forward to seeing you all on Sunday hoping the boys will be feeling better.
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| Posted 1/10/07 9:38 AM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by Ali1
Oh Diane I am so sorry all this crap you are going through.
However, I do want to say that i do not think it is right that your DH walked out of your house with 2 sceaming babies and was gone for over 2 hours. A walk around a block will cool someone down, 2 hours is a little ridiculous. We have all been there when you have reached your breaking point, and I have walked away from them as has DH, but we never leave the other one to deal with it. It's a team effort.
Sounds like you need to have a big heart to heart with DH. I know you had issues about him not wanting to change diapers among other things. You created these babies togehter and you have to raise them together. It's not fair to you or the kids when he walks out and disappears for hours on end. And what would of happened if you were out last night?? He can't just walk out.
Hang in there.
I have to agree, its just not fair to you. You are both responsible for the babies, he can't just leave you to deal with everything. Its selfish - its very stressful, I know, but this has to be a team effort. Why does the responsibilty always have to fall on the mother??? This just really makes me boil. I think you are being way to easy on DH - cuz if it were me - there would be he!! to pay!
ETA: just read your post - I am so glad you talked this out - I hope he makes some changes and starts being more supportive.
Message edited 1/10/2007 9:45:17 AM.
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| Posted 1/10/07 9:43 AM |
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AlohaMa
Never Forget
Member since 2/06 2735 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by Diane
Thanks ladies.....Well, we had a LONG talk when he came back and told him that I know it gets stressful, but we have to work through this together. He just lost it. I told him when you are on the urge to lose it, go into the basement, take a quick walk outside, or take a drive around the block, but what he did was unacceptable and was NOT fair to me. I have more patience with them , and just put the vacuum on and it put Christopher to sleep.
I just dont know aht is going on with him, and Mtthew is waking up every 4 hours hungry after they were sleeping through the night so well
Now that we are going to finally put them in their cribs (totally our fault because we should have had this construction done sooner) it will be rough...but willing to fight the battle.
He just feels we have no time together, which is true but I told him to hang in there it will get better.
Well, not to bore you with the details...thanks for listening and look forward to seeing you all on Sunday hoping the boys will be feeling better.
Glad to hear that you've resolved some of the issues. Looking forward to seeing you Sunday!
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| Posted 1/10/07 9:50 AM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Diane - when they get a bit older and are set in thier schedules you will be able to spend more time with DH. We try to get out after they go to bed and it is great, people are always willing to babysit sleeping children and we can go out from 8:30 to whenever.(well let's be real, by 10:30 we are exhausted, LOL.
It really is a team effort and that is how we handle it, it really helps so not one person feels like they are bogged down with everything. Everything gets done in half the time if we do it together.
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| Posted 1/10/07 10:23 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: My husband left......
Posted by Michelle
Diane - when they get a bit older and are set in thier schedules you will be able to spend more time with DH. We try to get out after they go to bed and it is great, people are always willing to babysit sleeping children and we can go out from 8:30 to whenever.(well let's be real, by 10:30 we are exhausted, LOL.
It really is a team effort and that is how we handle it, it really helps so not one person feels like they are bogged down with everything. Everything gets done in half the time if we do it together.
I agree so much with this. Since the boys started going down to sleep around 7:30ish, me and DH have like 2 hours to ourselves now and it has made a world of difference...we hang out and watch TV, read books, go to bed early, whatever...but it has made it a lot less stressful.
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| Posted 1/10/07 11:37 AM |
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MelissaMac
Life is Good
Member since 6/06 2135 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: My husband left......
I am so sorry about your husband. I wish I could help...
It's funny how a mother would never be able to leave her children no matter how tired or frustated she was. Yet men don't seem to have that gene.
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| Posted 1/10/07 2:45 PM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: My husband left......
I am so sorry! Your husband seems to do this often. You need help!!! 
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| Posted 1/11/07 1:05 PM |
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