Can anyone relate to my VENT

Ok, so we go yesterday to my DH's friends house for a superbowl party and all of DH"S friends and wives and or SO are there, so the guys all sit down and are playing cards and the girls are hanging out watching TV, so after the LONG evening i hear one of the guys say that my DH owes this amt of money ( for the superbowl pool we did and the cards he played) so im walking by and i hear the other guy, say ok you owe me this amt, now i heard this in passing and(although it wasnt an astronomical amt) i was like , honey really that much for one night, jeez.....so immediately he got upset and defensive and made a nasty comment back that who cares he makes more than me ....so i let it go and when we left he was like that was so rude of you all the guys made comments to me about how you said that, and i was like first of all i walked into a conversation and made a comment without thinking, ya know, but mostly they should not be making comments about his wife! they dont know what goes on in our house, like all i was thinking was that our paychecks this week will just cover the bills, I just think it was innappropriate of them to make comments about me ya know, I mean i didnt start an argument in front of people i made a comment he made his and i let it go for a later time, what do you all think ....im just so annoyed with his friends

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Wow were we at the same party?
I had a very similar expereince last night. People coming out & saying we owed them money that we really don't...not once, not twice but THREE TIMES, and the did it in front of every onw. Way to make us look like bums...I was so POed.



BTW it is never OK for people to talk like that IMO. If you & DH are talking who the hell are they to say anything to him about it?

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

thanks, thats how i feel, im just so down about it today, his friends can be really obnoxious sometimes....but i hate that he cares so much about what they say....

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

The thing is that if he lost money on cards AND football pools, his ego, (in addition to his wallet) was already a little bruised...so I can see how he might not appreciate that comment from you, even though you didn't really mean anything bad by it.

Boys will be boys and you have to assume they are going to make comments about friend's wives. That's why sometimes it's better to take your DH's side in front of them, even if you don't agree.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Can I play devil's advocate for a second?

No man wants to get scolded like a schoolboy in front of his friends, EVER. I am sure you did not mean for it to come across that way, but it would have been better if you left it until you were both alone to discuss future betting/spending at parties.
I think he felt embarrassed then got defensive (the part where he makes more money) and it just turned into something it probably should not have ...

Sorry it turned out that way.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

I can relate in that my DH would be furious if I complained about money in front of his friends. His feeling (and I agree) is that our finances should be between us only. If I wanted to complain in the car that would be fine. In front of his friends gives his friends the message he's not making enough money - which is embarassing for a guy.

I don't think his comment back to you was appropriate. I agree his ego was bruised even more so.

Message edited 2/5/2007 10:13:45 AM.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

I probably wouldn't have made a comment like that in front of everyone, maybe in private. But you made a mistake.

He and his friends definately should not have had a discussion about it. They had nothing better to talk about????

But guys are weird about the Superbowl. They get all touchy about it.

I would be annoyed too. You made a mistake, no need for them to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Posted by nrthshgrl

I can relate in that my DH would be furious if I complained about money in front of his friends. His feeling (and I agree) is that our finances should be between us only. If I wanted to complain in the car that would be fine. In front of his friends gives his friends the message he's not making enough money - which is embarassing for a guy.

I don't think his comment back to you was appropriate. I agree his ego was bruised even more so.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Are these his lifetime friends or some buddies? If they are some obnoxious buddies, I would let it go. If they are lifetime friends, I would rip him a new one as soon as we got home.

Re: Can anyone relate to my VENT

Posted by Emily

Are these his lifetime friends or some buddies? If they are some obnoxious buddies, I would let it go. If they are lifetime friends, I would rip him a new one as soon as we got home.