anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

i am due oct 9, so the baby has been in me 1 month. I wanted to tell everyone at 3 months(easter) but decided to tell parents and grandparents right when we found out. I was pretty clear about wanting to wait to tell others because of getting past the riskier months... We hadnt even heard the heartbeat yet..

The grandmother ended up telling people she wasnt suppose to, so then we had to tell the mother to tell the aunt(cause she would have found out from the other people), which frustrated me further
.
Then we were out to breakfast and the mother makes me tell her neighbor who we run into there and see maybe 3 times a year only saying hi. It frustrated me because i still hadnt told 2 of my best friends(and i only have 4 friends total) and yet i was forced to tell the neighbors after the mother goes " oh x & y have big news...." i hated being put on the spot.

This all happened sunday and on monday i got a headache when i was thinking about it. I told dh how i felt and he just got upset at me that im putting this stress on him.... he even skipped dinner cause of it... I dont know what to do, I was crying this morning and its not good for me to cry when i should be happy.
I am happy to be having a baby, i just dont want everyone to know yet and
especially dont want to be forced into telling people

Anyone else had this problem?? If i known it would have happened I would have told no one til 3 months

Message edited 2/13/2007 8:50:19 AM.

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

Well, sort of.

We told our parents and siblings almost immediately. I also told a couple of my closet friends b/c I wanted my support system to know.

When I was about 9 weeks or so, my family was SAYING I was pregnant, so I kind of came clean earlier than I wanted to. I also told work earlier because of a situation we had here.

I actually was slightly embarrassed telling people, I don't know, I felt like everyone was going to know that we have sex

Don't stress too much about things like this. People care about you and want to know what is going on in your life

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

I told immediate family right away and specifically told them not to tell anyone until we were ready to do so. Well, MIL told the rest of her family and friends, but at least I haven't seen them since they heard the news. My Dad, once the shock wore off, couldn't hold it in anymore so I said he could tell people at work because I don't know them. Then all of a sudden the rest of the cousins and great aunts and uncles had to know.

As for work, I had to tell the people I work the closest with because I couldn't hide my morning sickness. Then I had random people coming up to me asking if I was pregnant. SO I had to tell my boss because I was afraid a rumor would start before I spoke with him. This was all before 8 weeks.

I am 10 weeks now and I am getting tired of keeping this a secret. SO I understand how you feel. Time does go by quickly though, if that helps.

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

I know my family cannot keep their mouths shut, so we told the immediate family at 8 weeks. We then proceeded to threaten them that if they told anyone that they would not be allowed to see the baby - ever.
It worked & we told the rest of the family at 12 weeks, which was Thanksgiving.

It is hard for people to understand why you want to keep it a secret & I think that they really do not believe they are doing any harm, but it is not up to them..it is up to you!

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

Try not to stress about it. What's done is done & you know that everyone is happy & excited for you.

That being said, I think it's unrealistic to actually think your parents won't tell anyone. That's what family does! Especially when someone is pg. They are being rude but with the best intentions. Don't take it personally

This is exactly why I haven't told my family yet. Once one person knows, everyone & their mother will know

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

My Parents were so excited that we were pg, it was there 1st grandchild. They wanted to scream and tell the world.

Honestly, I was just as upset as you that they told people for my 1st pg, they slipped a couple times when i asked them not too, and sadly i m/c'd at 5.5 weeks, and screamed at them that they had to track down and tell everyone they told what happened. I was so mad at them.

With DD, they were warned if they told, they would not be there for her birth, they kept their mouths shut until i was 12 weeks.

With #2, forget it, as soon as I told them the whole world knew, my threats didn't work anymore and they actually yelled at me for being so negative and pessimistic about being pg.

What's done is done though, don't stress yourself out, you can't take back what they did, try not to stress, it's not good for you or the baby.

Re: anyone else have this problem telling people, forced into it?

Yes we did too... well, I know that certain family members told other people even though we asked them not to, and then we were kind of guilted into telling other not-so-close family members.

In the end, everyone is happy and excited for you, but its nice to be able to share the news the way YOU want to and not everyone else.