My 5 year old....

cousin has been diagnosed with ADHD. Because of this he has had some behavior issues in school. He is in kindergarten.

Recently, in my opinion, his teacher has been really hard on him. Calling my aunt and uncle with negative comment...(ex. he has no friends... has not been invited to bday parties)
As a special ed. teacher I feel this is extremely unprofessional. I would never do this to a parent.

Even worse... they suspended him because he hit another child on the bus. I am sorry but obviously if he has ADHD he has impulsive behavior. Do you think this is a little harsh? he is only 5 years old? he knows right from wrong but would never intentionaly hurt another child.

Please give your opinion. I am so upset by the schools choice to suspend him and feel that they are giving him a reputation at 5 years old.

Re: My 5 year old....

That is so sad how they treat him. NO child should be treated that way. Really no advice b/c I'm not in education - sounds a bit harsh, but if there are rules maybe they're just following them so they don't get sued (). for your cousin!

Re: My 5 year old....

Was this the first time he hit someone on the bus? I guess that doesn't matter really because how does a 5 year old make the connection between hitting someone and getting a day off from school? (He's WAY too young to understand what a suspension is!) I think that they need a more constructive approach to his behavior if they actually expect to help him.

Re: My 5 year old....

I dont think telling a parent that a child has no friends or is not being invited is telling them negative things. Yes, they are very unfortunate and sad, but (in my opinion) maybe she's just relaying facts, so maybe the parents can work with their child and see what behaviors are causing others to pull away.

As far as the hitting, schools have very strict rules. Im sure any parent can understand. I just sat through an assembly earlier this week on new rules being put in place on any child that lays a finger on another child.
Maybe suspension was a bit harsh, but we dont know the whole story.

Trust me, as a parent, I know this would be heartbreaking. My boys are no angels. BUt I also try as a parent and as a teacher to see both sides. When my son was 2, he was in a biting phase. When he bit another child, my heart broke for that other child.

AS a parent, my heart goes out to them. I hope they find strategies that work great for him, and I hope things get better. Im not looking fwd to the social/friendship/bullying issues that come along in the school years.

I hope this wasnt taken the wrong way. I wish only the best for your cousin and his family

Re: My 5 year old....

Is it catholic school by any chance?

I ask because we took my son out of school (or he was kicked out whichever you opt for) because he supposedly hit his classmate. Three teachers put the classmate on the bus without a mark on him & he showed up the next day with a huge bruise on his face. After being questioned for 3 days, he said "Joseph did it." What the school neglected to investigate was that the kid told all of his classmates (including Joseph) that he "thinks he fell at home."

ADHD is a very catchall diagnosis. He's in special ed?

Re: My 5 year old....

Thats the thing... it isn't Catholic School. It is public.

I was a special ed teacher in kindergarten for 2 years and we were always helping the parents deal with students not saying they have no friends... its a problem.

Also i work in nyc schools and only suspend children in severe cases such as bringing a weapon to school or severely harming another child.

thanks everyone for your opinion.

Re: My 5 year old....

my daughter is 51/2 diagnosed with adhd and on meds focalin xr and focalin the lowest dose of meds let me say this do NOT criticize her the mother i have been thru it accused of not being a good mom etc. because she also not only does not sit still in school but also has a intelligence level of borderline and has had no friends until she was put in a special ed class with behavioral adhd and autism slight auitism and now she has friends they are like her they seem to stick to children that are like them why your uncle and aunts child is doing is he is acting impulsive doing things without thinking this is what my neurologist has told me when she has meds she thinks and does not act impulsive my daughter to acted out in class and the mothers complained and the teacher did follow up with it and i was devistated but its not the childs fault its a wire not connecting in the brain and the meds reconnect it and if the child goes on meds there is a BIG Difference and your aunt will be much happier after yes, at first its not easy putting your child on meds but, in the end it is better for them and yur aunt i was in denial for two years my daughter was acting out since 4 1/2 i did not get it diagnosed thru neurology and counseling helps to until she was 5 also their will be behavioral issues but, it will get better in time takes awhile for meds to work and as a parent working with a child with adhd is hard and counseling therapy helps you teach you and your child how to control the impulsive behavior i am not a dr but this is what i have been told my daughter will be six this week and everyday is a obstacle but, its something as a mother you have to do and love your child and reassure them its going to be ok imagine you in their place and i am sure it is not easy as a child having this and having to take meds that make you feel different she is on the lowest dose

Message edited 2/17/2007 8:50:55 AM.