Shower Advice

So my shower is April 21. My sister is organizing it - although Dh is paying one third. She did not send out an email or save the dates, except to people who live out of town, even though DH asked her to. She hasn't sent the invites out yet. She says not before 6 weeks before the date, earliest.

Well almost everyone I speak to already has plans for that date - they have kids (my sister doesn't) and they have birthday parties or other things going on.

I am so bummed, people I really care about won't be able to make it.

My sister gets very defensive and will be annoyed if I butt in....what to do?? Should I just keep quiet and hope some people can make it?? Or should I get on her about it, possibly bringing on her anger? DH is pretty pizzed with her about it...

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I would have DH involved in the "send out the invitations project".

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Then, she needs to get the ball rolling...

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You know, I'm not sure she did anything wrong really. I have never received a "Save the Date" for any type of shower and I would think 6 weeks in advance would be more than enough notice--unless maybe it was a holiday weekend.

I understand it's upsetting that several people won't be there *and* that your DH asked her to mail out the invites though. I would tell her (in a non-confrontational way, of course) what you've heard and see if she can get the invites out ASAP as a result.

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I was lurking over here and saw this. This sort of happened to me with my E-party. I ended up just emailing or calling several people myself and said "I am not sure when you'll get the invitation, but we are having an E-party on April 21st....." Maybe you could have your DH do this?

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ugh....sounds like my sister!! Is there anyway you can bring it up to her without it "bringing out the anger"? B/c you and your DH have a right to be concerned..... I definitely wouldn't ignore the situation.

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That sucks.

I would start emailing people and letting them know the date.

And I would call your sister and say "I appreciate everything you've done and I don't want to step on your toes, but I'd really appreciate it if you could get the invitations out this weekend. People's schedules are filling up and it's important to me that this is out."

If she gives you crap remind her that you are the preggo one.

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is the date set in stone? That might be the only solution I can think of? I know April is a hard hard month.

I dont see why they cnats end invites out early though in a situation where you know its a rough time for many.

Get her mad, at least they go out??

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we are having a baby shower for my cousin on 4/28 and i believe the invites are going out next week. I can understand both sides, its a busy time of year so maybe and email would be appropriate to keep the date open, if not, maybe those with other obligations can atleast stop in if they cant stay the entire time.

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My shower is April 28th and I know my invites aren't even close to going out! I never really thought it would be an issue until now. I just figured they would go out towards the end of March but maybe now I'll tell my mom to send a little earlier than that.

Personally if it were me, I wouldn't want to make my sister mad, or whomever is throwing the shower. I would just call my friends and give them the heads up about the date, which is what I did for a lot of people.

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I don't see anything wrong - 4 weeks notice is the usual for showers and other "parties". You can't expect everyone to make it, no matter how much notice they have. Conflicts are inevitable.

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I just this week got an inviation to a shouwer on Apr 28 - definitely get Bill involved - he has every right at paying 1/3 to say the ivites go out no later than this MOnday

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Do you think that these people are maybe just telling you that they have plans to throw you off because they don't know that you know? I wouldn't send out an invite more than 6 weeks before unless it was a holiday weekend.

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OK -- I know my sister did nothing wrong and technically, 6 weeks should be plenty of notice. It's not that I am angry with her, just that there are people who I really want to be there (NOT for the gifts!!) and they may have other committments...

We both come from big families. Most of our friends are from big families. April and May are just really busy months and I realize that - but I also see that a lot of people have their calendars already set up. It seems people make plans so far in advance these days!

Anyhoo, I spoke with her and told her that DH would like to send out a save the date, and she was fine with it. She isn't very good with the computer, and is in a show this weekend so I don't think the invites will be getting out anytime soon anyway.

At least this way, those who don't have plans can pencil it in and those who do, can (if they want to) see about making arrangements.

Oh and there is a minimum of 40 people at the restaurant so if only 35 can make it, we still have to pay for 40 - which would be a waste...

Message edited 3/2/2007 3:30:42 PM.

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Sounds like you handled it well.

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I'm sorry this happened to you....my shower is the week b4 & my mom won't be sending out my invites until early next week. I did, however, tell a few of my close friends b4 hand. I'm sure it'll work out