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Jenhos
Maeve
Member since 6/05 3273 total posts
Name:
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loss of a sibling..how to answer
I was asked for the first time since my brother died last year how many siblings I had.
I answered I have 4 bothers. I got the usual wow are you the only girl comment and was then asked if they all lived in the area. I found myself stumbling and uncomfortable to answer. I explained that my oldest brother had died and then she felt all uncomfortable.
it was not fun.
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Posted 3/11/07 9:40 PM  |
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AlohaMa
Never Forget
Member since 2/06 2735 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
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| Posted 3/12/07 5:05 AM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
my sister died when I was 3. She was only 2 months old. When people ask now how many siblings I have, I always answer 2. A brother and a sister. If they ask other questions, I say "She passed away when she was a baby"
It's a difficult and uncomfortable situation usually, but I haven't found a better way to answer it yet.
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| Posted 3/12/07 2:26 PM |
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My2Boys
Love.
Member since 10/05 4796 total posts
Name:
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
I always include my brother (he died at the age of 20 when I was 14  ). I don't always offer that he's deceased unless the conversation calls for it.
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| Posted 3/12/07 9:54 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
I am so sorry that you have all suffered this loss. 
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| Posted 3/13/07 8:58 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
I just say that i have 1 brother and 1 sister. Sometimes i'll throw in the 'i had another sister but she died' explanation, but i don't know, i just try to avoid the awkwardness i guess.
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| Posted 3/13/07 11:01 PM |
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bikramaddict
mommy-to-be
Member since 8/06 4376 total posts
Name:
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
As an only child, I can't only begin to imagine the awkwardness in that, but with my mom gone, I can certainly understand how much pain it causes.
Whenever people who don't know me make a general comment like 'you should take your parents here' or 'what do your parents do for a living,' etc a big pang always hits me. Sometimes I tell the truth about my mom, sometimes i'll talk about my parents (plural, depending on the situation) as though my mom is still here.
Pulling in my own situation and attempting to apply it to yours, I think I'd answer with the actual figure (including your deceased sibling). Our family members are always here, even when physically, they are not. I'm not saying hide it - I don't, most of the time - but sometimes I think it's just easier when there is less explaining. Personally, I hate hearing "i'm sorry." i know people mean well, but i just hate that saying.
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| Posted 3/13/07 11:11 PM |
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Jenhos
Maeve
Member since 6/05 3273 total posts
Name:
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
I'm with you Robyn I hate the "I'm Sorry"
The whole thing just stinks. And of course once I say he died they want to know how since he was young. Not something I wasnt to discuss with anyone.
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| Posted 3/14/07 1:03 PM |
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Jenziba
?
Member since 5/05 6265 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
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| Posted 3/14/07 10:14 PM |
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JustJack
:)
Member since 2/06 2041 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
Posted by Jenhos
I'm with you Robyn I hate the "I'm Sorry"
The whole thing just stinks. And of course once I say he died they want to know how since he was young. Not something I wasnt to discuss with anyone.
I feel that way. Especially since my brother died from drugs, I feel like they think he was a bad person or something and that was not at all the case. Sometimes I just dont want to deal with it so I say none, but I feel terrible about it. If the person seems nice enough, or I know them, I will explain it. Sometimes people have been through similar experiences, so it helps to talk about it.
For example, my hairdresser had asked me about my family and I had explained about my brother. She actually had the same thing happen to her. We became very close because of it.
Other people just seem to feel uncomfortable. They don't know how to act, because they've never had something like that happen to them.
If anyone wants to chat, feel free to fm me!
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| Posted 3/15/07 11:07 PM |
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PupettaBella
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 538 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: loss of a sibling..how to answer
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| Posted 3/18/07 12:55 PM |
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