Did anyone else feel like this?

I don’t even know how to start. I’m in the early stages of dealing with my fertility issues but the whole process has taken an emotional toll. I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster, I could literally cry at the drop of a hat. My problem is my husband now. I just don’t feel like he “gets it” which is making me feel very much alone. For example, I was leaving for work yesterday morning and had a HSG scheduled for that afternoon. He says to me on my way out “Have fun”… I wanted to kill him. He had forgotten about the HSG but even his forgetting hurts me. I’m going though all these tests and visits by myself. How do I explain to him that I need him to take the initiative in making me feel better? How do I get him to understand that he has to step up for me and make me feel like I have someone to lean on?

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

Unfortunately, men don't seem to "get it". I have to do everything on my own too. He wants to be supportive and comforting but has no idea how. Maybe if you sit down, show him a speculum, and explain everything you have to go through he might make more of an effort to understand....but please don't get upset with him, I think it is a gender problem and not that he doesn't want to understand -- he just doesn't understand.

Good luck, I know it is difficult... we are here to help you if you need it!!

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

You have FM...

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

Thank you both...I do feel a bit better.

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

As much as we would like to give the men in our life credit, they DONT get it, they cant I dont think, as they arent women and they dont feel the emotions of it nearly as much as we do. That said, you still need him and he needs to know how to support you. I hated having to tell DH what to say or do, but he just didnt know.

On our 2nd iui he said " I HAVE TO GO AGAIN???" ...to which I started hysterical crying and proceeded to tell him to go have a baby with someone else , we were getting divorced....So I know how emotional you can get...LOL

He ended up apologizing, but even now sometimes seems to "tune" me out...and I try hard to see his point of view.

Ita an emotional rollar coaster...We can all agree even if it takes 2 months to get PG or 2 years.

You have to approach him without making him feel like he's failing you and tell him what you need , not so much what hes doing wrong, and hopefully he will be more receptive to what your saying...

As far as yourself...take the emotions as they come.....and I hope a baby is in your NEAR future

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

I went through the SAME thing with DH. I remember the day that we went to our injection class - the nurse went over all the things that I was going to have to subject my body to over the next few weeks, which gave me a splitting headache. It was a LOT to take in, and I think the fact that DH gettting away with just giving a sample and that's it made him totally oblivious to what I have to go through. One night I was going over the consent forms that we had to fill out - we had to decide what to do with the embryos that weren't transferred. To me, it was a very hard thing to have to think about, but when I was trying to discuss it with DH, he was too busy playing with the dog to pay attention
So I freaked out and was like, "don't you understand what a big deal this is? Don't you get what I'm going through here? This is a LOT for me to have to put my body through!!!!!"

I think it finally hit him how hard this is for me when he had to start giving me the injections. Seeing me going through this pain, I think it slowly sank in for him.

The only thing you can do is just try to be patient with your DH - he needs to know how serious this is, without you getting all emotional and mad at him. I know it's easier said than done, but give it a try.
Good luck!

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

Annie my DH was the same way as yours.
As soon as he had to give me the progesterone injections it hit hit a lot more, and now tells me Im such a trooper.

Undercover...it may take some time, but he will come around.

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

This is an incredibly emotional process. I think for the men too, but they are just socialized to deal with emotions much different then we are. We talk, cry, and analyze. They shut off. Sometimes I wish I could do a little of that myself.

You are not alone!!

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

Thank you again ladies....I really appreciate how much you all have shared with me. I did talk with my husband last night and he really had no idea what I was going through emotionally and was extremely supportive of me when I did share.

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

Re: Did anyone else feel like this?

I know how you feel. My DH did not feel the need to come to any of my GYN appts so far and I was very upset. I told him he MUST come to my follow up appt on 10/7 when I discuss my blood test results with the infertility nurse. I told him it takes 2 of us to get pregnant and that includes doctor appts. Sometimes I think they just don't get it since it is not their body going through this for the most part.