DH's and SA- update

I told DH that the RE is probably going to want to do an SA - based on what I have read about people's experiences here and other places...
He gets all upset and almost defenisve - that he doesn't want to do that into a cup...
Does anyone else have this issue with their DH? I just want him to tell me that we will do whatever it takes, not have him complain or be upset about it -or say what he said to me last night - that he just wants to make a baby the regular way.... I mean does he think I don't? I have been going to doctor's appointments and taking medication, and he hasn't had to do anything. Is it really that big of deal for men to put their stuff in a cup?


UPDATE: DH told me he was "in," that he will do whatever it takes. Glad it didn't take him too long to have a change of heart.
Thanks everyone for sharing your kind words and experiences.

Message edited 9/12/2007 10:06:47 AM.

Re: DH's and SA

My husband flat out won't get this done because of his Christian beliefs. He said it would be a sin. Totally different reasoning than your husband I would think, but yet still the same result.
I spoke to my RE and he said there's a special condom where you can do things the "old fashioned way" and bring the sample in that way.
We haven't approached that route yet. My RE asked us last night if we were ready to get the SA done and my husband told him no and that we were going to try to Clomid first (which he doesn't agree with either b/c it's not "God's way") but he can't stop me putting pills into my body, so he's out of luck there. At least it's a way of not making him feel like he's sinning, even though he may not be happy with my plan. Best of luck to you! I hope your DH comes around!!!

Re: DH's and SA

My DH wasn't totally against it, but he wasn't very willing at first and wanted to wait to see if Clomid would work first (this was back in January). After my doctor gave him a little talk, and explained to him what I was putting in my body and if there was a way to make sure that the "natural" way of getting pg wasn't the cause, wouldn't he rather do that then let me put all these hormones and other medications into my body. It was a total guilt trip and after that he didn't hesitate.

I mean, my doctor is the sweetest lady, and she didn't mean anything by her little speech other than wanting to rule his SA out before putting me on meds.

Re: DH's and SA

My Dh was not too thrilled, he did it. And it turns out he had an infection. So in the long run before putting me thru all types of things, it was beneficial that he had this done.

Re: DH's and SA

When DH hesitated about it, I wrote a list of everything I had done to date on one side of a paper:

OPKs
Charting
Clomid (with a list of its side effects)
Number of exams (with some graphic details of what those exams were like)
Hours of work/personal time lost
etc., etc.

Then I wrote his list on the other side of the paper:

Do something you like doing anyway, just in a little cup.

He stopped hesitating immediately and made his appointment.

Re: DH's and SA

Posted by leighla


Do something you like doing anyway, just in a little cup.

Re: DH's and SA

I guess I was lucky, DH didn't flinch at all when the Dr. told him that he wanted him to have a SA. He told me after all I had been through (the ectopic, 2 shots of methotrexate, the HSG test, etc.), it was really not that big of a deal.

Re: DH's and SA

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by leighla


Do something you like doing anyway, just in a little cup.

Re: DH's and SA

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by leighla


Do something you like doing anyway, just in a little cup.

gotta butt in here

i'm sorry but i don't get the men who are afraid of this at all

it's one thing if it goes against your beliefs

but come on, you're rubbing one out in a cup

what's the big deal?

and if you do it the dr's office, you get access to free porn

the way i see it, for the amount of money we pay to do this, i'm taking full advantage of the free porn

Re: DH's and SA

My DH did it at home. he felt too uncomfortable to do it at the doctors office.
I think he was nervous about it and dreading it, but once he saw all of the tests I would be going through, he saw that his part was very easy in comparison.

Re: DH's and SA

My DH didn't complain about it, but I don't think he was too excited. We've done 3 iui cycles with 2 insemminations each cycle since the SA, so I guess he's gotten a little used to it. I do feel bad though waking him up at 6:30 and collecting the sample, not very romantic. didn't think this was the route we would be going in order to make a baby. But people do whatever it takes. Good luck. I hope your DH realizes it's really not that big of a deal.

Re: DH's and SA

Re: DH's and SA

Ok is my DH the only one that was excited about it?!!?!?!

He has to still make the appointment but when I brought home the perscription. he was so exicted to "see how his boys were doing"

Re: DH's and SA

My DH took the phone number and made the appointment the same day I gave it to him.

But I kind of understand why a guy would have a problem with it. After all, there is a wierd sort of stigma attached to it. Once they do in fact do it, they then have to walk out of the room with their stuff in a cup and hand it over to a person in the MDs office.

Re: DH's and SA

Posted by Jen2999

Ok is my DH the only one that was excited about it?!!?!?!

He has to still make the appointment but when I brought home the perscription. he was so exicted to "see how his boys were doing"

Re: DH's and SA

My DH was a little bit of a PITA about it, but he did it. He had to turn it into a whole big production, though. He did it at home.

When we had to do something that required him to have to do it not in the privacy of his own home, that's when the real issue came in. But he was a trooper.

He can't compare have to pleasure himself into a cup to having to take pills or injections and go to the doctor every other second.

Good luck to you! And with

Re: DH's and SA

some men are weird

who cares - cup, mattress, couch - whatever

you're jacking it to porn

Re: DH's and SA

My husband did it standing up in a bathroom--no complaints I had also been through a lot though so I think he was prepared. Good luck and

Re: DH's and SA

Posted by MrsRbk

Posted by Jen2999

Ok is my DH the only one that was excited about it?!!?!?!

He has to still make the appointment but when I brought home the perscription. he was so exicted to "see how his boys were doing"

funny! Last week at our IUI, the doctor told him he had a really good sample and she was impressed. He looked right at her and said (of course with a big sh!t eating grin on his face). "I bet you say that to all the guys"

Re: DH's and SA

My DH was great about it--no problems just did what he had to do. He had to go to work so i had to drive it to Syosset...but he didn't mind doing it to figure things out.

Re: DH's and SA

I could sense my DH wasn't thrilled about doing it, but he did it without complaining.

Re: DH's and SA

I went through this as well; after he complained, he did it. Bottom line, the end result is a step closer to a baby. If it's presented that way, sometimes they soften up. Good luck.

Re: DH's and SA

I've been very lucky. My DH hasn't balked at all and he's had to do it many times at this point, some at home and some in the office.
He gets very excited when he hears the results and loves to talk about how healthy his swimmers are.

Re: DH's and SA

OMG i am sorry but I have been going through infertility problems for almost 3 years and have done several rounds of IVF and what the men have to go through cannot compare what we do. There is no shame in doing that and no harm. The Dr need to find out if his stuff is in working order to see what kind of treatment you will need to do. In our case it is the both of us I have PCOS and hubby has a pituitary tumor that is messing up his stuff without and SA there may be something that was missed and an awful lot of money wasted if there is something wrong with him as well...no one wants to go though this but there is no shame in it and it shouldn't take away his manhood. My hubby has gone to almost every appointment with me with the exception of a few early am blood draws but everything he has been there for me without lip...good luck I hope he comes around...