Need advice with poss abuse situation

Long time poster, can't divulge my identity. Sorry but please help because I am an animal lover.

I know someone close to me, in my family that goes through dogs. He goes out and gets dogs on impulse, keeps them for a while, the newness wears off, he starts crating them too often, and then gets rid of them somehow.

Although I've talked to him (yelled at him) quite a few times, he keeps doing it. I looked into reporting him but the animal advocacy groups look like they're concerned about the care of the dog while it's in his house. Not so much that he keeps going through them. The dogs aren't abused while they're there per se. They are sheltered, fed, watered, not hit, let out into the yard but not walked.

Because it's a member of the family, I'm trying to figure out my options on what i can do anonymously. If there are even ways to stop people like this from doing this. Short of calling all the pet stores, shelters, and breeders and asking them to blacklist him, which I have considered. But there's so many and I'm sure a lot would care more about the $ than the dogs. I also looked into putting him on PETA's mailing list and stuff but I think that would be a waste of time, paper and effort. It would probably just annoy him.

Can anyone give me some advice on what I can do or if the aspca would be interested in a case like this? I know you would all like to rip him a new one but I've done that before and I think I would cause major family issues if I told him I was reporting him. It's lame and cowardly I know.

But if you could help, that would be great.

Thank you all.

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

I really don't know what you can do... if he is not abusing the dogs while he has them, then I don't think you have a case..
How does he get them? I can't imagine a shelter giving the same person dog after dog after dog. Same with a reputatble breeder. How long are we talking about here - a few months? or years?
A pet store, though, would have no problem with that I am sure.

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

Hmm...I really am sickened by the thought, what on Earth is he doing to get rid of them? What is wrong with him?

I would have to do something if I was you. The only thing i can think of trying to arm yourself with info, trying to talk to him about animals (esp dogs) attachments, etc. Gathering up other friends and family who will agree with you and trying to confront him.

I don't know what else to do. How terrible and selfish this person is. It sickens me.

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

I think the only thing you can do is a sort of intervention, with other family members and friends. Embarrass him into not doing this anymore. Make other people call him on it so maybe he will just stop doing it. What else can you do? It's so sad

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

I had a co-worker who did something somewhat similar ... he adopted a puppy from NSAL for his kids (although they were too young to want a dog IMO and his wife did NOT want one). In less than a year, he was looking for a new home for her which ended up being very lucky for me - it's how I became Hershey's mommy

Probably a year later, he got a pit bull puppy who was a real sweetheart but I think he gave him away less than a year later. I lost touch with him when he got another job and moved out of state but who knows how many more times he did it ...

Does he give any reasons why he keeps getting new dogs? I mean, it just seems if they become a hassle/burden, why would you want to keep going through it over and over again?


Good luck with whatever you end up doing!

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

I would definitely have him blacklisted. But the pet stores will not care. The shelters also may not care, especially municipal shelters.

It seems like an obsessive behaviour on his part more than an abusive one to the dogs (although I am strongly angered and opposed to this behaviour), so maybe seek professional help as to why he is continuing this behaviour.

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

Thank you all for your responses.

To answer your questions, there is nothing wrong with the dogs that a good and attentive owner couldn't fix. They wind up acting out because they are not given outlets for their intelligence or energy. They are looked at as being bad, and he finds excuses to get them gone.

He goes to all different places to get them. First it was shelters, then pet stores, then breeders.

He's had a lot. I count three in the last 2 years that are gone. More before that.

I've asked him so many times - if what you want is a dog that doesn't bother you, just eats drinks and sleeps, where you barely notice it, then why have one in the first place? He's totally irrational. This is one symptom in a host of symptoms that make me think he's got a screw loose, honestly.

His mountain of issues are beyond my help, I know this. I don't want to help him. I want to help the animals that find their way into his house.

I guess I was just looking for a magic answer, even though I knew there wasn't one. I'll try talking to him again. Maybe instead of me talking, I'll just put him on the spot and ask him questions that he's going to try to b.s. his way out of.

Thanks again.

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

No words of advice....just good luck
maybe at some point your talking to him will sink in

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

I feel for you...my brother does the same thing. It's so hard to understand because as a pet lover I would NEVER do it! If there is nothing physically wrong with them then there is not much you can do. You could try calling the shelters and pet stores and that's about it. I'm so sorry I guess the good thing is he's giving them away and not taking them to the pound. My brother did that once and when Mom found out all hell broke loose. Let's just say he NEVER did that again for fear of my Mom's rath. Good Luck and if you ever need to vent feel free to fm me from a fellow pet lover

Re: Need advice with poss abuse situation

Maybe pass this on to him to knock some sense into him. Also try giving him "Chicken Soup for the Pet Lover's Soul book" and highlight some stories that you might read to illustrate to him that pet's have feelings and needs too, that he seems to care less about.

The below excerpt is from Shanti's post about lifetime commitment.

A LIFETIME COMMITMENT
by Mary Drosche

I hadn't been in rescue very long and I was reading a story
about Lexi, looking at her sweet golden face in the picture.
Apparently, she had been rescued as a pup from a shelter.
However, in this instance, the word "rescue" seemed to have been used
merely to assuage the guilt of her human mother who was now looking
to find a new home for Lexi.
How else could one justify finding a new home for a family
member? Lexi's mom had two toddlers and other excuses for now
wanting to find "the very best" home for the dog she'd raised for the
past 10-11 years. Her family of four was moving to a new
subdivision, and between the toddlers and the upcoming move, along
with working, she had no time for Lexi.
I didn't understand this reasoning then and still don't understand it.
The dog was part of the family. Yes, we all have lifestyle
changes. We have kids. We move. We work. We become preoccupied
with our children's schedules as well as our own. We don't think we
have enough time.
Well, I had done all those things and never once thought of
finding a home for any of my dogs -- they were part of my family.
How could she do this to this sweet girl?
I made arrangements to pick up Lexi, who was living in a very
nice, gated subdivision, not far from ours. We introduced ourselves
to Lexi's mom and were taken to see Lexi. The garage door opened and
there was this sweet dog, in a large wire kennel where she'd
obviously been living, with a small fan on her, in Houston, in
September.
Lexi had been digging in the backyard and they couldn't have
that -- not with their house for sale.
She gave me a brief history of Lexi, concluding that Lexi would
probably look for her by waiting at the door at night.
I took Lexi, who jumped in the back seat of our truck and never
looked back. From that moment on, she was my dog and she never left
my side, nor did she ever fail to thank me daily with her eyes and
utmost devotion.
Of all the dogs I'd ever had and loved, this one was most
special. She was my first rescue. We took Lexi home to our family
of four other dogs and, after proper sniffing and various other forms
of introduction, all dogs took their places in our lives. Lexi never
left my side. She could be found sleeping at my beside and when Rick
got up early and let the dogs outside on weekends, Lexi wouldn't go
until I got up.
What a wonderful old girl she was. We moved to the bay in June
of 2004. Lexi was getting visibly older and was slowing down. She
had free rein of the house and could always be found at my side,
whether that be at the side of the bed or the foot of the couch. I
never left her outside. She had spent enough time in the heat, in a
cage.
She was 15 years old this past January. She had numerous
tumors on her body and in her eyes and, although she ate like a
horse, was skinny as a rail. I prayed that she would go to sleep on
her own, and not leave me to make that decision for her. I finally
had to make that appointment, and she went to sleep in my arms. She
took a piece of my heart with her and I know she now waits at the
Bridge, playing and waiting with my Huskies.
I write this, not just to honor her memory, but hopefully so
that another young mother, with toddlers, who thinks she has no time
and needs to rehome her dog, will read it.
Lexi was lucky -- she found me. Other senior dogs, and cats,
are not as fortunate. If a home can't be found, they are dropped at
a shelter to a certain death because they are deemed unadoptable by
the shelter. It's not the shelters fault. Over crowding due to a
glut of abandoned pets leaves no room for an older dog or cat.
I hope that the young mother who reads this will think twice and
realize that the pet she has raised loves her, whether she has as
much time today as she had yesterday. I hope the young mother who
reads this will think about what she will be teaching her children if
she gives her old pet away. Instead of teaching them that a pet is a
responsibility for all of its life, she will be teaching them that a
pet is disposable.
I hope she will read this and look into her pet's eyes and see
the love and the life still devoted to her. I hope that she'll have
many long years with her pet after her toddlers grow up and, in that
way, she will have taught her children how to love, care for and be
responsible for a pet -- for all of his or her life.