Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

I work in a bad area of Brooklyn, and many of the students come from less then desirable home situations.

I've taught my class for 2 years now, 2nd grade special ed.

There is one little girl who's situation is really bad. Aside from a LOT of issues with neglect, her clothing is so old, so filthy, and doesn't fit her properly. (Yes, it has been called into ACS, and hasn't improved).

I decided that I couldn't not do anything being that I've been her teacher for 2 years. So on Friday night I went to the mall and bought her some clothes from The Children's Place. I got her a sweater, 2 shirts, tights and socks (things that she could wear with her school uniform)

I don't know how I should approach the mother about it though, if at all. One of my coworkers thinks I should just put it in her bookbag, and leave it at that. I kind of feel like I should write a note to the mom explaining that I don't wish to offend her, but wanted to get some things for her daughter this year.

Have any of you ever been in this situation or do you have any advice?

TIA!
Melissa

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

sigh...

this is a very sad situation and you have a good heart for going out and purchasing this girl clean, new clothes...

i think i agree with your coworker. but i am not sure...

if you leave the note, you may in some twisted way, get yourself in trouble if this lady freaks out and calls the school or comes up to school like "who do you think you are..."

if the girl wears the new clothes with no note, then the parent may wonder about where she got them...maybe she'll think the girl stole them...

i don't know...

it's so hard being a city teacher...especially when you are dealing with small children...

whatever you do choose to do, your act is one of true generosity and kindness...

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

that was sweet of you....

not sure in your situation what would be the best way to handle...

perhaps you could go through the school social worker... i've done it this way and the social worker found a way to get it to the child's family. if that's an option i might just leave it the child's back pack. i think the parent would appreciate it... clearly there seems to be a financial problem and they need help. she may be very grateful to you.

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

Just make sure you take the tags off. You don't want the mother to be able to return them for money.

I think that was great of you to do that.

What if you just sign the bag "from Santa" or something like that. In my district we buy less fortuane kids presents and make them from "Santa." I think the only diffrence is that the parents know about it though..
Does your school do that??

Message edited 12/16/2007 8:29:00 AM.

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

Some parents can be very greatful others can get very angry that you are doing this. I have seen both. Some people are very humble and don't appreciate hand outs no matter how needy they are. Talk to the social worker about it

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

can you give it to the social worker in your school to "give" to the parent? It sounds like if the family situation is bad anyway, they would have the socila worker involved, and if not, the soc should be

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

I would just say that someone bought them for your neice and they don't fit her and you didnt have the receipt or something...

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

I've done this in the past, and just put it in their schoolbag. I tell the kid that I had extra clothes at home and if Mom or Dad have any questions to speak to me. I never had a parent even question it, just a thank you.

It's a tough call, but you know the parent and situation. Good Luck!

Re: Question about giving clothes to a student for christmas...

I've done this for some of my needy students too. Usually I would put it in the bookbag without tags. None of the families ever said anything but I know it was appreciated by the joy on the students' faces the next day. I've also played "Santa" without going through the social worker. I bought things the kids needed and left them at the house gift wrapped. I've given the kids clothes, food, toiletries, toys, shoes, etc.