Am I the only one that feels this way??

My closest girlfriend is the only one who knows that we are TTC. Each month, when AF comes, I usually talk to her about it. And every month, she tells me that getting pg wasn't meant to be. If I hear this one more time, I think I'm going to scream. Does anybody else get frustrated with friends/family who give similar kinds of "pep" talks??

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

I really limited who I told I was ttc. None of my friends are ttc, so they have no idea what to say or do.

Honestly, sometimes it's best not to talk to even your closest friends about this. They often will say things that can hurt, without them meaning to.

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

These are the same people that ask, "Why are you adopting? If you'd just relax, you could have a real baby." My boss was one of these people.

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

OMGosh I am so sorry you girls have to hear these things -- when I missed my boss said, "Oh well, now you'll have to adopt like me". I wanted to K I L L him!! He has hepititis and a brain tumor so he CAN'T have children - plus his wife has been in Russia for almost 2 years now, impossible for her to get pregnant by HIM at least..!!

Most of my friends have been really helpful and supportive, and have actually been through the same things I am going through, so they've been great sources of information AND...INSPIRATION!! 1 has a 2 year old, 1 just had a baby boy, and one had twins last month!!!!

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

I have learned most people will say "something" than rather say nothing. And most times those "something" comments are the most ridiculous comments people can ever make.

I'm sorry she upset you - have you thought about letting her know?

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

I have 2-3 close friends and of course my friends on here, who really know the right things to say or dont say anything, or simply ask how Im feeling. I have another friend who sounds like yours. And to be honest most of my family and DH included kinda say the same things.. Dont worry, or you cant expect it to happen overnight ( not sure when 12 months became overnight anyhow) but it is truly frustrating, just try to remember not everyone knows or no one really can know how it feels and what your personally going through. It must be hard knowing that shes the one person you can talk to , yet you get nothing out of it. Im sure she doesnt mean to not be as supportive as you need, but its gonna feel disspointing none the less. My only suggestion is to come here to vent. We are all here to listen to vents without saying anything , and this board was a LIFESAVER for me...

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

Your friend is out of line to say that to you...I could never imagine saying that to someone. I know this is a crude comparison but if someone tells you they have cancer do we respond that "it is meant to be". Of course not, we offer support and a shoulder to lean on.

You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I have been pretty open about our TTC because I do have so many close friends that are now having children. Most of them are very supportive and try to say the right thing but there have been times that I have been annoyed by insensitive statements. For example, I recently told my SIL that DH & I had been undergoing some treatments. She proceeds to say to me that maybe I should just relax and my response was that I tried that the first 1 1/2 years of my marriage.

These boards provide such support and it is nice to share experiences with women that know EXACTLY what you are going through.

Re: Am I the only one that feels this way??

Posted by dm24angel

I have 2-3 close friends and of course my friends on here, who really know the right things to say or dont say anything, or simply ask how Im feeling. I have another friend who sounds like yours. And to be honest most of my family and DH included kinda say the same things.. Dont worry, or you cant expect it to happen overnight ( not sure when 12 months became overnight anyhow) but it is truly frustrating, just try to remember not everyone knows or no one really can know how it feels and what your personally going through. It must be hard knowing that shes the one person you can talk to , yet you get nothing out of it. Im sure she doesnt mean to not be as supportive as you need, but its gonna feel disspointing none the less. My only suggestion is to come here to vent. We are all here to listen to vents without saying anything , and this board was a LIFESAVER for me...