Am I wrong? What would you do?

I have 6yr old, in school today he was misbehaving and was not given a cookie or a donut that a classmate brought in for her birthday. My son told me his teacher told he he lost his privledges- he is 6 and may not be telling the WHOLE story but the fact that he was left out (he was the only one with out a treat) he was sent to a separate table in the back of the classroom.
He has been acting up at school so shld I treat this as a learning experience or am I right to be upset?
Thanks guys...

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Well, what did he do? could you call up to find out?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I think you need to speak to the teacher before you make up your mind. Often kids come home and do not tell the entire story. I would call the teacher first.

Perhaps he was misbehaving when the treat was passed out and that is why he was sent to another table and missed out.

Message edited 2/1/2008 2:10:30 PM.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I'd talk to the teacher as well. I have to think as an adult she had her valid reasons for the punishment, even if you would not have chosen the same punishment. She needs some latitude for control in her classroom. I do feel bad your 6yr old missed his treat though.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

i would speak to the teacher.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Thanks guys, your all right. I did leave a mess for teacher and will discuss. I dont want to over react with her.. will do it here though..lol. Lack of sleep (I have a 5.5 week old) and cabin fever is making me a lil edgy.....phew.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Please I just got sick to my stomach thinking about least school year.

My DD was in the exact situation but she wasn't deprived food she was just left out of their everyday classroom tasks. She sat at a desk by herself in the back of the room. she was totally segragted for 4 days. Ok I have to stop talking about it now.

totally wrong and I can choke myself for not kicking as$ for it. I spoke to the principal and she knew we were against it but I should have made a stink about it. it was totally unexceptable.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I definitely would speak to the teacher to find out why-she may have a valid reason for this type of punishment-timing of the misconduct perhaps?
I feel sad for your child and it sounds not fair but find out the whole story first and then decide what you would have done or would have liked to see done and express it to the teacher.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I agree with everyone else to calll the teacher. Getting the story from a 6 year old - even one that is truthful all of the time - means you get 1/2 of the story.

The other thing to consider is how depending on what your ds was doing, should he have gotten a cookie? I know the last thing my 6 year old gets if he is misbehaving is dessert.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

You definitely need to speak to the teacher - find out exactly what your son was doing, and then ask her more specifically about what kind of discipline she imposes, for what kind of infractions. As long as she is being consistent with how she disciplines other children in her class, I wouldn't see it as problematic.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Honestly, I would speak to the teacher about it.

I know its not preschool, but when I taught, they told me that withholding ANY food, whether it was a lunch or a party cupcake, was a form of abuse. I didnt think it was THAT serious but the health department frowned upon it big time.

I would threaten but never would do it. I would definately speak to the teacher to get it out in the open. Ive even placed them at another table, for 5 minutes and then brought them back after they behaved again. I dont know..just seems a little harsh to me.

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

im a teacher and I have done this before but i will say they child was warned many times.....what did he do??? I would never just do it without plenty of warning...

With that said i teach 3rd grade, her punishment wa sa little harsh IMO but maybe he was warned many times....

Its hard as a teacher because if you make a threat u have to stick to it or else the kids wont take me seriouse....

kinda like parenting...fair, firm, and consistant...

But i wll add...

now that I am a mom it would TOTALLY break my heart....i would call....

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I am a teacher also and have done this before as well, b/c days like these (party days) are few and in between and I use them as extra motivation.....that being said...children are warned and get the "3 strike " rule. As the last poster said you have to mean what you say and say what you mean and always be consistant. Talk to the teacher first...I am sure there were reasons and I am almost positive that your child got plenty of warning before the punishment.
Teachers like myself view parties as special treats for children who follow the rules and do the right thing. I also apply my own theory to my own son....no special anything if his behavior is not up to par.....

Re: Am I wrong? What would you do?

I would speak to the teacher. If his misbehaving had something to do with the treats (like acting up while giving them out, etc.) then I would say maybe the punishment fits the crime.

However, if he was misbehaving and had nothing to do with the special event, then I would say that you should tell the teacher how disappointed you are. If that were the case, she should have def. taken away a normal privledge, like play time or coloring time or whatever.