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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Question for Jewish mommies to be...
We are not religious by any means, but are more conservative than not....
My parents and esp SIL (who went to Israel for a year and became the family know it all on all things jewish) is insisting that I follow the "custom" of not bringing or buying anything for the baby until it's born!!! Now mind you I have been one of those ppl that literally called up fortunoff about my wedding registry to see who bought me things off of it
I want to buy things and have things ready. I know we can register and have the registry hold it until we release things to be shipped, but what about outfits, pampers, carseats, bassinet, things I'm going to need as soon as we come home...
I'm not a happy camper...anyone else doing this or knows someone that did this...I'm ready to freak out on my family!!!!!
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Posted 4/25/08 1:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
i am jewish but not religious at all. my mother is also not very religious, but she is very superstitious - so i understand where you are coming from!! my mother said that when she was PG with me, she set up only the bare minimum of necessities, like the crib and changing table, and my father took care of everything else once i was born.
is there any way you can do a registry and then have someone hold everything for you until the baby arrives?
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:27 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by headoverheels
i am jewish but not religious at all. my mother is also not very religious, but she is very superstitious - so i understand where you are coming from!! my mother said that when she was PG with me, she set up only the bare minimum of necessities, like the crib and changing table, and my father took care of everything else once i was born.
is there any way you can do a registry and then have someone hold everything for you until the baby arrives?
We can do that or have them hold everything on the registry and release it when DH calls to release it, which is great, I just can't imagine having them setting things up while I just come home with a newborn.....It just seems really frustrating, and I want to buy pretty things for the baby...its sooo much fun 
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:30 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Anything we will absolutely NEED, will be stored at my mother's, my IL's or my sister's house. The car seat will be installed. Everything else will be washed (if necessary) and brought over when I go into labor. My sisters have both agreed to pick up the layette at Denny's and scoot over to BRU and BBB to get anything on a list that I will have given them. If you are very concerned, buy what you think you will need in advance, keep it elsewhere and have someone wash what needs to be washed.
Also keep in mind that generations of Jewish children, myself included, did not have anything in the home until we got there and we fared very well.
People think I am nuts for waiting this long, but honestly, they don't know my rationale (more personal than I care to get into) and frankly the babies dont know the difference.
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:30 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by Goldi0218
Also keep in mind that generations of Jewish children, myself included, did not have anything in the home until we got there and we fared very well.
I totally agree with this, its more of me being a control freak than anything, which I guess I'm going to have to get over...
the thing is they won't even let my BUY anything...bc it will tempt fate....
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:32 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
The only thing I will suggest is that you should have is the red ribbon on the crib/bassinet and a mezzuzah on the door of your home or the room the baby will be sleeping in.
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:47 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by Goldi0218
The only thing I will suggest is that you should have is the red ribbon on the crib/bassinet and a mezzuzah on the door of your home or the room the baby will be sleeping in.
Ummmmmm...I still have the red ribbon on me.... Since the day I was born my mom had one on me, and kept replacing it whenever I got bigger....how is that for crazy....
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:49 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
I have a red ribbon attached to my bra. MIL insisted on it. Doesn't hurt so why not! I have had some religious students who have them laminated on a card in their bookbags.
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:51 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Thats a good idea on the bra....I think I may have to borrow that!!!
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| Posted 4/25/08 1:54 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
I spoke to my mom about this the other day. I am not allowed to have anything in the house...The other day we went to motherhood maternity and they gave me a welcome package and it had a baby bottle in it and she took it from me!!!! It will be stored at her house and my dad and brother will put the crib and stuff together when I am in the hospital and my mom and sister will get everything else together.
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| Posted 4/25/08 3:18 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by ejm1219
I spoke to my mom about this the other day. I am not allowed to have anything in the house...The other day we went to motherhood maternity and they gave me a welcome package and it had a baby bottle in it and she took it from me!!!! It will be stored at her house and my dad and brother will put the crib and stuff together when I am in the hospital and my mom and sister will get everything else together.
I have that bottle too.
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| Posted 4/25/08 3:19 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
I'm Jewish, but DH isn't. My mom has mentioned several times (before I was even pregnant) that she will store everything baby related at her house b/c she doesn't want me to bring anything into mine. She's in NY and I'm in CT, which could be a PITA, but I guess we'll see what happens.
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| Posted 4/25/08 5:23 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by ejm1219
I spoke to my mom about this the other day. I am not allowed to have anything in the house...The other day we went to motherhood maternity and they gave me a welcome package and it had a baby bottle in it and she took it from me!!!! It will be stored at her house and my dad and brother will put the crib and stuff together when I am in the hospital and my mom and sister will get everything else together.
See I don't know how much I trust my Dad and DH to put it together while I'm in the hospital, I think they are going to be total freakshows once the baby comes from sheer excitement of course...
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| Posted 4/25/08 7:09 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Our furniture will be in storage where we bought it for a couple of weeks. They are used to people NOT bringing things into their home.
The baby will sleep in the bassinet of the Pack N Play and it will be 2-3 days (from the time we call to deliver the furniture from the hospital) when they can deliver and assemble it for us. She will be fine. Im not worried. Then she moves to the crib.
Someone will be at our place to accept delivery and over see things if I am not home yet. I have a lot of family close by.
Message edited 4/25/2008 7:26:10 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/08 7:25 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by Goldi0218
Our furniture will be in storage where we bought it for a couple of weeks. They are used to people NOT bringing things into their home.
The baby will sleep in the bassinet of the Pack N Play and it will be 2-3 days (from the time we call to deliver the furniture from the hospital) when they can deliver and assemble it for us. She will be fine. Im not worried. Then she moves to the crib.
Someone will be at our place to accept delivery and over see things if I am not home yet. I have a lot of family close by.
We were thinking of doing the bassinet too, so that I'm not that worried about, and my dad can build things out of sticks which is great, I'm just nervous about the commotion, and to be honest, its me being selfish, I'd love to just have everything in place since I'm a bit anal....
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| Posted 4/25/08 7:27 PM |
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MrsRivera
2 under 2...whew!!
Member since 2/07 9876 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Sorry to hijack--but can I ask what the symbolism of the red ribbon is?
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| Posted 4/25/08 7:35 PM |
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clwp
Love my girls!
Member since 10/06 2114 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
I'm not religious and DH is Catholic, but my mom originally didn't want us to do a shower and I was in agreement... until DH got laid off from his job and we realized there was no way we could afford everything nor did we know how soon he'd be re-employed. My mom agreed to the shower, but she has held most of the stuff we received.
On another note, we have 5 cats in our house... I've read and read about the best ways to integrate pets to new babies so no one gets hurt. It's hard for animals to deal with changes in the home - even things like new furniture. That said I told my mom that I felt it be best for the crib and dresser to be in the babies room for at least 2 weeks prior to the baby coming into the house. I have to say, my cats have really been checking everything out too and we are realizing what precautions we need to take to keep baby safe.
I will be picking up baby's things from my mom's this weekend. It's just easier for everyone. It's really so different than I thought I'd be - I didn't even want to know the sex of the baby b/c of superstition (not sure if there really is one, but I felt knowing like was not good luck). In the end I think it would have been too chaotic to not have the room prepared and at least some clean baby clothes - I've felt a bit overwhelmed as is. BTW - you have to have an infant seat by the time your ready to leave the hospital (another point I made with my mom - who I still remember holding my younger sister in her arms in the front seat of our 2 door 1968 Malibu with me standing - not even belted - at 4 years old in the back seat back in 1977). Times have very much changed since our mom's had kids.
If your mom is really set on you not bringing things into the house - I'd have her hold stuff for you and ask her to make arrangements to get everything to your house when the baby is born. I personally would also put a list together for you mom of all the necessities you need so you aren't scrambling or realizing you don't have things you really need.
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| Posted 4/25/08 8:10 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by MrsRivera
Sorry to hijack--but can I ask what the symbolism of the red ribbon is?
"Garlic and red ribbons were placed on the baby's crib to protect it from the evil eye, or demons. Lilith, one such demon, is specifically suspected of stealing small children for herself, since, as legend has it, she is forever bitter about her own inability to bear children."
Some Jewish people either wear or carry red ribbons with them in inconspicuous places so as not to draw attention to themselves. I have since I am PG.
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| Posted 4/25/08 8:35 PM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by clwp
If your mom is really set on you not bringing things into the house - I'd have her hold stuff for you and ask her to make arrangements to get everything to your house when the baby is born. I personally would also put a list together for you mom of all the necessities you need so you aren't scrambling or realizing you don't have things you really need.
Thats our plan. Hold stuff at other's homes and have a list of things that MUST be there by the time I get home. Since we are doing our layette at Denny's, they told us to call them with the birth weight of the baby so they can make any adjustments with sizes that may be necessary.
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| Posted 4/25/08 8:37 PM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
This is my second child so I am an "expert" in this
We had everything delivered to the house while I was still in the hospital and/or after I brought the baby home. I had the car seat installed and inspected a week prior to my due date (just in case). My mom picked up the right sex layette from Denny's and washed everything and brought it to me when she came to the hospital. I didn't find out the sex of the baby so I had registered for 2 layettes. The furniture was delivered a few days after I got home but DS was sleeping in our room in the bassinet so we were fine anyway. I got EVERYTHING else at DS's bris. Most of the stuff had been purchased but either held by our friends and family or stored at my mom's house. I am also very superstitious so I didn't want anything in my house.
I didn't have a shower so I can't answer to that.
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| Posted 4/25/08 8:46 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Posted by FelAndJon
This is my second child so I am an "expert" in this
We had everything delivered to the house while I was still in the hospital and/or after I brought the baby home. I had the car seat installed and inspected a week prior to my due date (just in case). My mom picked up the right sex layette from Denny's and washed everything and brought it to me when she came to the hospital. I didn't find out the sex of the baby so I had registered for 2 layettes. The furniture was delivered a few days after I got home but DS was sleeping in our room in the bassinet so we were fine anyway. I got EVERYTHING else at DS's bris. Most of the stuff had been purchased but either held by our friends and family or stored at my mom's house. I am also very superstitious so I didn't want anything in my house.
I didn't have a shower so I can't answer to that.
I think this is exactly what we're going to do!!!
Thanks ladies for your help...
No shower for me either....
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| Posted 4/26/08 7:09 AM |
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Selden78
I lvoe the fall :)
Member since 6/06 3543 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
you cant buy but others can for you right??
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| Posted 4/26/08 10:19 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
Others can certainly buy for you but just request that they hold onto everything. We had most of the bigger, non-gender items purchased and just on hold or at my mom's house. It was our preference to not have anything in the house. As far as the basinette was concerned, that was at my mom's house too. It was my sister's so my mom washed the linens and had everything ready for us when she got the call.
Since I ended up with a c-section, my mom had 5 full days to get everything organized and washed before I was coming home. Knowing her though, even if it was only 24 hours, she would have found the time to do it all or just done it at my house 
ETA: Technically the car seat wasn't in my house since it was in my car (that was how I was able to self-justify that one!  ).
Message edited 4/28/2008 12:04:28 AM.
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| Posted 4/28/08 12:02 AM |
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snowflake08
Love my boys!!!
Member since 8/07 5148 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
while i am not religious either, more traditional, this is something i will not do
we will not set up a nursery or buy anything until the baby is home; or at the hospital i should say
people buy things but as long as they (family members) keep them at their home, and i dont bring them into mine, I will be happy with that
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| Posted 4/28/08 12:11 AM |
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NiftyBabies
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/08 3 total posts
Name:
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Re: Question for Jewish mommies to be...
ok my point! I did this with DS and when I got home I had nothing! It was very frustrating. I would say have everything go to a friends/ family house and have them bring EVERYTHING to your house when you come home with the baby. I did take from the hospital diapers and things like that but I remember having my mother before coming over running to babies r us and buying a starter bottle set! Because I am having another boy this time I have everything I need. My girlfriends who are not jewish gave me some diapers and wipes and I put those in the garage so they are not tech in my house
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| Posted 4/28/08 7:06 AM |
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