grandparents who dont get routines?

usually DH watches DD on the 3 days i go to work (his schedule rotates every week and sometimes we're in a pickle) so occasionally my inlaws come over to watch her at our place, or i leave her with my aunt in the a.m. until my mom gets home at 2:30 and then takes her to their house until i pick her up after work (6:30-7pm). my prob is they don't get that you need to set dd aside for a nap, not just let it happen. also i feel like when they watch her, she doesnt get undivided attention? (meaning my mom will make dinner, do laundry, watch a program, chat on phone etc.) My mom does not really "play" with DD much because she has things to do does this make sense? i dont want to sound ungrateful but i worry that the inconsistent schedule/routine is bad for DD??? any advice? sorry so long

Message edited 6/4/2008 5:18:26 PM.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

Do you feel comfortable speaking to them about your concerns? I think you need to if it is bothering you. Good luck.

Just wanted to add that I don't think you are being ungrateful at all, just because they are doing you a favor doesn't mean they have the right to disregard your wishes.

Message edited 6/4/2008 5:23:09 PM.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

i have but they think i'm nuts since we grew up never having a schedule/routine or bedtime for that matter.

Message edited 6/5/2008 9:44:59 AM.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

Message edited 11/18/2011 8:30:09 PM.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

I am a nut with schedules - but what I have realized is - that kids can have a different schedule at the grandparents house. What I do with Jack may not be what my parents do - but all I care about is the end result.

That he naps.
Eats
Plays
Sleeps.

If he does all of those things - then I'm happy.

My parents get the importance of a nap for Jack bc otherwise he gets crazy and they don't want to deal w/ that either.

Talk to them and tell them how you feel - but try to know they won't do it the exact way you will.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

I would talk to them. She is probably doing things the way she is used to doing them--I think we play with our babies way more than other generations did overall. She also may not remember games or songs. You can leave a CD or mention some things he loves to do to play.

Also, how is she physically? My MIL doesn't play with DS that much and some is lack of interest I think, but I also have come to realize that it's hard on her, I just don't think she can flop down on the floor and play with him there.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

thanks i know they love her more than anything and dont mean harm its just frustrating sometimes. dont warm the bottle too much, dont overdress her etc. she is friendly and usually easygoing - we're not too rigid with her.

how bad do you think it is if her routine changes day to day? for example,i'm working today and DH is working tonight and tomorrow night so he'll drop dd at grandma's at 4:00 and i'll pick up after work so we prob won't get home until 8ish. can this be affecting her refusing to nap. this has been going on for 3 days

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

My mom doens't listen to my schedule an I just deal with it. I can't control everything and as long as they are ok then I leave it be.

Re: grandparents who dont get routines?

I had the same issue with ILs except they watch DS 5 days. In the beginning he wasnt napping for them because he was used to a schedule and certain routine. I told my MIL that DS was good with a schedule and maybe they should try that, she basically told me she couldnt do that, she would let him sleep when he was tired. Eventually he started to understand that it was different with Nonna and Grandpa and he started sleeping for them on his cues rather than me who would put him down every day at 3pm. At the same time they realized that there was something to my madness and I knew what I was doing....I will say now DS is more flexible. Some days he will nap for 2 hours some days 30 minutes but he is rarely cranky about it which is good.

As far as your mother not giving DD undivided attention. My son doesnt always get my undivided attention after work. I will generally put him in the walker in the kitchen to play as I cook. Then if he is playing nicely on the floor or something I may run down to throw in a load of laundry. I dont think he suffers because I have to multi task. I think that as long as your DD is safe with your mom and she isnt ignoring her when she cries than its fine. Your mom is doing you a favor by watching her for you and its understandable if she needs to do other things at the same time. Plus honestly you'd probably be surprised, even though my ILs have DS 5 days 8-10 hours a day, he still gets sooo much attention when there! He is like the price over there!