HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all enjoying your summer !! I am a school SW for a LI school district and just completed my first yr with the district so 2 more years until I am up for tenure. Here is the problem - I had my wedding date set prior to me getting the position and it is Sept 18, 2009. If I would have known I would get this job I would have never planned a Sept wedding. I have not booked my honeymoon yet because I am scared to - I dont want to hinder my chances of being tenured as a result of taking off for my honeymoon in Sept but at the same time I cannot fathom returning to work right after getting married ! If it meant my job security though, I of course would put it on hold. I think what makes it worse is that it would be at the start of the school year and it is my tenrue year. I have talked with several coworkers and some have said its not a big deal - some of them have even done it themselves and stated that it is a different case bc it is your wedding day but others have told me to wait until a recess. I am stuck and not sure what to do. I am only planning a 7 day honeymoon and being that I am not a teacher, I am not responsible for a classroom of children, however I deal with crisis, and do counseling etc, but there is another SW in the building. Please give me some feedback - can I be looked at negatively for taking a HM during the school year? Has anyone been in the same situation?

I plan on speaking with my princ and AP in the beg of this yr to get their feedback as well.

Thanks in advance for your help!

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

I personally would not do it. While I have never been in this situation, a few of my friends have and all of them waited until a school break to take their hm.

Perhaps take a personal day for that Monday, Tuesday and do a mini-moon like out to montauk or up to lake george or providence?

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

I was tenured when I got married, and still waited to take my HM until the summer. I got married on a Sat nite in May, took off Thurs and Fri before, and returned on Monday.

In my district there are very strict regulations as to how many days you can take off for wedding related activities. Our maximum is three. I would definitely check with your union before you make any decisions. It's not worth it to lose a great job over a HM.

Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but coming from a place where many people have been denied extra personal days, I am cautious about what I request.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

Thank you for your feedback and yes while it wasn't what I wanted to hear you are all right. It is not worth worrying about my job - Im sure I wouldnt even enjoy myself bc I would be too concerned about what could potentially happen. I love my job too much for that !!

My wedding is on a Friday so I will probably just take Friday and Monday off...Or maybe Thursday instead of Monday. I would like to do something that weekend though for sure...maybe go to Montauk and stay at Gurneys or something.

Thanks again

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

My friend got married on a Friday and took of Thurs, Fri, Mon, Tues. They had a mini-moon.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

I was in the EXACT same position as you. I was working at a hospital when I got engaged, booked an April wedding, then got my position as school SW.

I took two personal days following the wedding to spend time with family, and my DH and I went away in July.

If I had the chance again, I would do it the exact same way. I loved the delayed honeymoon and it gave us something to look forward to.

I could not risk losing a position that took me four years to find.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

my sister got married before she was tenured and took off just 2 days and they went away over the summer (she was marrying another teacher from her school though - 2 teachers taking off would have been really bad)

I would definitely not go away unless it was a school vacation - you don't want it to bite you in the butt later.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

no, no, no, no! we only work 185 days a year or so, so i tihnk they will really frown on you if you take the time off. i know it sucks, but i don't know how you can do that. i got married during the school year (it was my 2nd year of my probationary period) and my principal was amazing and gave me 2 personal days before the wedding (it was right before Feb. break) and we honeymooned over the break. i was back at school the following monday morning.

i know it stinks, and i understand how much you want to go on your honeymoon but i wouldn't chance it, not my tenure year.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

I would wait until the first break to go.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

I disagree only because I have done it

In my first year I was getting married in November Friday after Thanksgiving.

Our timeshare week was the next day and I just told my principal I had this all planned already (didnt know I would be hired) She was fine. Called the district HR office and filed for 5 days unpaid leave ( I was going to do it but legally)

As far as I know, they cannot stop you from taking off if it is unpaid.
I did, enjoyed my Aruba honeymoon the whole week and never had any regrets or consequences.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

Honestly, I would not take off for my HM. Since you are getting married in September, could you schedule something near when the Jewish holidays fall and just take off a day or two and make it a long weekend (unless you celebrate, of course). Whatever you decide, have a great HM!

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??

First of all, I think this depends on the district.

Secondly, I got married in 2006 in October and took my honeymoon over April break for this exact reason. I was tenured and I waited. It worked out fine, we actually really looked forward to our honeymoon more because there was a wait.

If I were you, I would wait to take your HM. Some districts really frown on taking extra days. I definitely would never do it if I were untenured.

Re: HM in Sept 09 but not tenured??