How do you deal w/a DH whose lost a parent?

My DH lost his father a few months ago...he NEVER speaks about it-i'm sort of nervous to bring it up also...

sometimes i just want to tell him that i miss his father-but i dont want to stir up feelings....

anyone who has exp in this, please let me know how to deal...thanks in advance

Re: How do you deal w/a DH whose lost a parent?

DH lost his father in Jan 06 and never talked about it. In June of that year one night at 10pm he wanted to go to the cemetery. (Of course his is open 24hrs) So we went. Dh just layed on the ground hysterical crying. He needed his time to let it sink in. We would talk about his dad here and there but nothing like " lets get it out in the open how are you feeling" kinda thing. He knows I missed him and I know he did too so i didn't ever bring it up to make him get it out. We lived with his parents so it was twice as hard on us.

Your dh will talk about it when hes ready. Don't pressure him. It's normal. But don't be nervous if you want to bring it up mention things just about the good time. If you feel its too much know you tried.

Re: How do you deal w/a DH whose lost a parent?

ty for ur words -ur dh is like mine. he never talks about his feeligns-AT ALL.

he holds things in a lot-at his fathers wakes/funeral, he didnt even cry once.

i guess i will just have to wait n be patient..thanks again

Re: How do you deal w/a DH whose lost a parent?

Both myself and DH have lost our fathers

While I feel ok talking about my Dad, DH doesn't really discuss his. Only recently has he started to open up about him. He has been dead for several years.

Give your DH time, don't push just yet. I know I couldn't talk about my dad with anyone for quite some time after he passed.

It's an awful situation, good luck

Re: How do you deal w/a DH whose lost a parent?

FH lost his dad many years ago when he was little and my dad died 9 years ago this past May. I think everyone is different in the way they deal with things and it takes time. I know now that I was very angry for a long time and there are time both FH & I still are. Especially with our wedding in 23 days. Perhaps he just is not ready to deal with it. If there are things that remind you of your fil then I think you should mention it, you lost someone too.

Message edited 9/4/2008 9:30:16 AM.