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If you have ever been raped, did you report it to an authority

Forum Opinion Poll
Yes 9 23.68%
No 29 76.32%
 

Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted By Message

DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it

Member since 5/05

18602 total posts

Name:
The cure IS worse!

Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted 2/2/06 3:10 PM
 

Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew

Member since 5/05

14266 total posts

Name:
Jes

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

i didnt vote b/c its not me, but someone VERY close to me was and didnt report it. she was 14 at the time.

Posted 2/2/06 3:14 PM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

My first week of college a girl on our hall brought back some guys she picked up in teh city (who didn't go to our school). She let them sleep in her room and the ended up sexually assaulting a girl on the hall and raping another. This got me very active in rape crisis issues and I became a rape crisis hotline counselor.

At school they began to have an anonymous rape reporting so that people didn't have to leave their information, but for statistic purposes they could find out how many rapes occurred on campus.

Throughout the years, I had a few friends confide in me that they were raped. Most were date rape, but I had a friend who was given a ruffie and woke up in a hotel room beaten up, robbed, with no clothes. One of the maids told her the same thing happened the week before.

No one I knew every reported it.

Posted 2/2/06 3:21 PM
 

noname1
LIF Infant

Member since 2/06

98 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

I am a regular poster on this site but dont want to make this public. I was raped in college but someone who slipped a ruffie in my drink. After a lot of talks with friends and fam and tons and tons of tears I did report it to college authorities. The whole thing ended up as such an ordeal. The guy who raped me was kicked out of school but going through that whole process was almost like being assaulted again. I do not always push people to report it because from personal experience I know how brutal it is but I am proud of myself for having done this.

What was so scary was that after I did this and word was out so many girls on campus came up to me and had been in similar situations. I know firsthand how common this is and it really changes a woman's life forever. Its horrible.

Posted 2/2/06 3:29 PM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Noname1, Thank you for sharing your story. what you did was so brave!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon None of my friends ever reported their attacks- and the guys just got away with it- without any consequences. I can't imagine what you went through, but I am sure you inspired women to be brave like you were. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Its so sad- but it really isn't as uncommon as we would like to think. Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 3:33 PM
 

noname1
LIF Infant

Member since 2/06

98 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by Shellyesq

Noname1, Thank you for sharing your story. what you did was so brave!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon None of my friends ever reported their attacks- and the guys just got away with it- without any consequences. I can't imagine what you went through, but I am sure you inspired women to be brave like you were. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Its so sad- but it really isn't as uncommon as we would like to think. Chat Icon



thank you, that really means a lot to meChat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 3:37 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname1

I am a regular poster on this site but dont want to make this public. I was raped in college but someone who slipped a ruffie in my drink. After a lot of talks with friends and fam and tons and tons of tears I did report it to college authorities. The whole thing ended up as such an ordeal. The guy who raped me was kicked out of school but going through that whole process was almost like being assaulted again. I do not always push people to report it because from personal experience I know how brutal it is but I am proud of myself for having done this.

What was so scary was that after I did this and word was out so many girls on campus came up to me and had been in similar situations. I know firsthand how common this is and it really changes a woman's life forever. Its horrible.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 4:31 PM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname1

thank you, that really means a lot to meChat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 4:35 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname1

I am a regular poster on this site but dont want to make this public. I was raped in college but someone who slipped a ruffie in my drink. After a lot of talks with friends and fam and tons and tons of tears I did report it to college authorities. The whole thing ended up as such an ordeal. The guy who raped me was kicked out of school but going through that whole process was almost like being assaulted again. I do not always push people to report it because from personal experience I know how brutal it is but I am proud of myself for having done this.

What was so scary was that after I did this and word was out so many girls on campus came up to me and had been in similar situations. I know firsthand how common this is and it really changes a woman's life forever. Its horrible.



That must have been an awful ordeal - but you might have spared a classmate, roommate or friend the same experience that you had. By reporting it, you were really protecting other women on your campus. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 4:40 PM
 

noname2
LIF Zygote

Member since 2/06

3 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

I was molested. No one knows. I was young and felt/feel that because I never actually said "no" its my own fault. I was told that it was "ok". The only person who knows is my DH.

Posted 2/2/06 4:47 PM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Noname I also applaud you for sharing your experience. I havent been through anything like this but I was shocked when a classmate revealed her ordeal to the class from an under grad college. She went through pure hell. For me, her story opened my eyes. Sometimes when you watch the movies this all seems so far away but I learned that day that there are so many people who have gone through this type of experience or similar. This person I felt so bad for because she felt like she always had to be so brave and not reveal how bad she hurt. She is doing so much better because she realized she wasnt to blame. I hope you have gotten all the support you needed in your future recovery from such a terrible crime. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 4:50 PM
 

noname2
LIF Zygote

Member since 2/06

3 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname1

Posted by Shellyesq

Noname1, Thank you for sharing your story. what you did was so brave!! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon None of my friends ever reported their attacks- and the guys just got away with it- without any consequences. I can't imagine what you went through, but I am sure you inspired women to be brave like you were. Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Its so sad- but it really isn't as uncommon as we would like to think. Chat Icon



thank you, that really means a lot to meChat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Sorry I coppied your name

Posted 2/2/06 4:51 PM
 

PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!

Member since 12/05

17450 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname2

I was molested. No one knows. I was young and felt/feel that because I never actually said "no" its my own fault. I was told that it was "ok". The only person who knows is my DH.



I am so sorry. have you tried going to counseling? It is never your fault. Counseling will help you realize this. DH might want to go for support if you feel uncomfortable.

Posted 2/2/06 4:53 PM
 

Shanti
True love

Member since 6/05

12653 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by PrincessP

Posted by noname2

I was molested. No one knows. I was young and felt/feel that because I never actually said "no" its my own fault. I was told that it was "ok". The only person who knows is my DH.



I am so sorry. have you tried going to counseling? It is never your fault. Counseling will help you realize this. DH might want to go for support if you feel uncomfortable.



It isn't your fault and you should definitely talk to someone. You are brave to share thisChat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 5:05 PM
 

Shanti
True love

Member since 6/05

12653 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Isn't it sad how many women responded to the pollChat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 5:05 PM
 

noname1
LIF Infant

Member since 2/06

98 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by noname2

I was molested. No one knows. I was young and felt/feel that because I never actually said "no" its my own fault. I was told that it was "ok". The only person who knows is my DH.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 5:08 PM
 

DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it

Member since 5/05

18602 total posts

Name:
The cure IS worse!

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by DMcK

Isn't it sad how many women responded to the pollChat Icon



I was just thinking the same.

Posted 2/2/06 5:24 PM
 

Shanti
True love

Member since 6/05

12653 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by DebG

Posted by DMcK

Isn't it sad how many women responded to the pollChat Icon



I was just thinking the same.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 6:41 PM
 

Jax430
Hi!

Member since 5/05

18919 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by DebG

Posted by DMcK

Isn't it sad how many women responded to the pollChat Icon



I was just thinking the same.



It's very disturbing to think about how common rape/sexual assault is. Chat Icon


I have never been in this situation, thank g-d, but one of best friends was a victim of date rape, and I know it took her years to even admit to herself that that was what it actually was.

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon to those of you who shared your story. It is NEVER your fault.

Posted 2/2/06 6:44 PM
 

GROWUP
LIF Zygote

Member since 12/05

14 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Message edited 4/7/2006 1:49:03 PM.

Posted 2/2/06 7:08 PM
 

Shanti
True love

Member since 6/05

12653 total posts

Name:

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Posted by GROWUP

I'm not a regular poster but I too was raped at 16 when a then boyfriend put something in my drink at an unchaperoned party. I didn't heed my mother's advice to not leave my drink, etc. and someone took advantage of that. I passed out for hours and when I woke up (I knew I had fallen asleep in a "friends" room) I was dis-oriented and had lost track of time. When I got home, I knew something was off but I never in a million years thought THAT was what happened. I sort of put it out of my mind and assumed I was suffering from a heavy pre-menstrual discharge (which was common and no, I was not a virgin). I never told my mother because frankly I knew she would be upset for putting myself in a questionable situation. I didn't realize until about four weeks later when I was suffering from what I thought was several weeks worth of flu-like symptoms that something terrible had happened. Not only that, I ran into a "friend" of the ex-boyfriend (we only stayed together a few weeks) and he told me that X was spreading it around about what a good time we had at the party. I didn't want to think about that maybe more than one person (besides X) had that good time. I finally fessed up to my mother and a pregnancy test revealed that I was pregnant. Completely freaked out and at that point suicidal, my mother made arrangements for me to have an abortion. I can honestly tell you that the abortion was far worse than coming to terms with the fact that I was raped. It is a hell I re-live over and over again in my mind. I will never allow any child of mine to experience that. I don't blame my mother; the choice was mine and being young and in an impossible situation, I did the best I could at the time.

But to the point of the thread, no, we didn't report it. It was far too into things before we discovered what had happened and I was afraid that he would make me out to be a slut, etc. and reveal that in fact more participants were involved than I originally thought. It all seems sort of surreal to me; like it happened to someone else. The only thing that feels tangible to me to this day is the fact that I will carry the burden of my decision for the rest of my life.



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 2/2/06 7:15 PM
 

Bri
I Love You to Pieces!

Member since 5/05

9919 total posts

Name:
Brianne

Re: Spinoff but Anon Poll

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon To all of you that have shared their stories and to the "too many" people that voted . . .

Posted 2/2/06 8:38 PM
 
 

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