Questions About Special Needs

I just typed out a very long post and it logged me out when I went to post!

I'm a regular poster but I'm in hiding since these questions are not about my child.

I'm not going to go into too much detail since it just took me a half hour to type out everything that got deleted, so here is the short version.

I babysit a one year old girl who I think has special needs. She is extremely behind. Her parents are in denial and refuse to believe there is anything wrong, they say she is lazy or she has a laid-back personality.

By describing her, I hope that someone can help me uderstand what is going on with her so I can help her before she falls father behind.

Here it goes:

She is small (like 15 pounds and maybe 24 inches long). She wears 6 month clothes (and they are not snug) and her head is large for her body, close to the same size as my 25 pound 34 inch tall 2-year-old.

She is very easily startled by noises. Certain noises will send her into uncontrolable hysterics.

She has trouble moving thicker food to the back ofher mouth to swallow.

She only learned to roll over about a month and a half ago.

If you sit her up she can sit on her own, but has very bad balance and if she tips over, she will not move, just cry until someone sits her back up.

When she is sitting, I'll put toys in front of her and 85% of the time she'll look at them for a minute, reach out to them, but pull her hand back before she touches them and she'll do this a few times in a row and then just stare at her hand instead. The other 15% of the time, she'll hold a toy in front of her face and stare at it.

She could not care less about anything that is not directly in front of her.

She slaps the back of her left hand with her right hand on and off all day.

There are days when she just cries about everything all day (and I have her for like 12 hours).

She doesn't say anything other than just "ma". No babble, nothing.

I have to work very hard to get her to smile, and I'm one of the only people she likes.

If you try to get her to do age-appropriate activies (like standing up and holding on to something) she cries and refuses to put her hands on the table once you get her to hold on she just stands there and cries and doesn't move until she loses her balance.



This is the jist of it. I guess if anyone had more specific questions please ask so I can get a better understanding of what I can do for her. It upsets me that this isn't being addressed and that helping her now could make things easier for her when she gets older.

I hope someone can help!


TIA

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Was she premature at all? It sounds like she may have been...

The reaction to noises/the problems with swallowing as well as other odd things would be enough for me to tell the parents what I am noticing and how you feel concerned...

I know a lot of people may say not to get involved...but I honestly feel that if someone who watched my child for me noticed odd things that I never saw, I would be appreciative of their concern. There is no better time than NOW for them to get an evaluation. It doesn't sound "typical" for a 1 year old.

The ONLY thing that doensn't concern me much is the lack of words that you mentioned...I don't know many 1 year olds that are really talking other than babble. That woudln't be any red flag for concern just yet...

HTH. You are great for being concerned, this child may benefit by you looking out for her!! It could make all the difference in the world..

ps-the head circumference would concern me too...I would think though that a pediatrician would have done something!! My friends baby had a very large head at that age and they sent him for a cat scan...

Message edited 11/16/2008 9:48:57 PM.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Oh this is a hard one ...
I think your concerns are really valid. Have you shared these concerns (just like you've written them) with the parents? Maybe something like
"I've been watching X for ... long now. You know how much I care about her, and I'd really like to share some concerns with you. Have you noticed that she ... X,Y,Z? I know its so hard to think that your child may have a delay, but Early Intervention is available and I know how well its worked for others. I'll fully support you through this, but I think you should bring these concerns to your pediatrician"

Sometimes as parents we can't see the whole picture and we make excuses and pray that we're being over-reactive. It helped me to have an outsider validate that there WERE real concerns .... especially because so many family members tried to dismiss them too.

HTH

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Hi,
I'm a speech langauge pathologist who works with young children presenting with developmental delays and I think your concerns are completely valid. Looking at it as a therapist It sounds as if she may have global delays with difficulties in speech, language, cognition (based on her play skills) and oral, fine, and gross motor. Looking at it as a parent thats really difficult to swallow so I can empathize with their hope that she just needs more time. So you're going to have to tread lightly when trying to point out different aspects of her development and not overload them with everything all at once. Maybe it would be a good idea if you just took one aspect of her development that concerns you the most and bring it to their attention and continue to keep making comments on that. Perhaps her gross motor, and have them seek a professional opinion on that aspect. You could start by talking about her ability to sit up, a skill usually acquired by six months. I'm assuming she does not crawl yet. Tell them it might be good to have a physical therapist evaluate her gross motor. I guarantee you that it will open the door to other evaluations and services for this little girl, and parents will be getting the info they need from professionals. And you'll have done something wonderful. In the mean time, I would work on her play skill devleopment Does she know how to stack block, put rings on a stacker, put shapes in a shape sorter, bang on a drum, shake a marracca? If not this is a good place to start show her how to play with toys in a simple manner. Don't do hand over hand as she sounds as if she may have some sensory defensiveness but simply show her how you would play with these objects, preferably on the floor. she's probably not interested or playing for very long b/c she doens't know what to do with these objects. Hope this is of some help to you. Good Luck and They're very lucky to have someone like you looking out for their daughter's best interests.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Thanks everyone!

I do mention select things to her mom so that she is aware of what I notice, but again, she is in denial.

She was only 2 weeks early and about 6 pounds at birth, so I don't think she classifies as a premature. I remember thinking that when she was 2 months old but then I realized that she wasn't.

I'm going to try doing some more play activites with her. She can't stack blocks or put rings on a toy, but she does occasionally hit the toy piano. But some toys that make noise scare her, so I have to be picky about what toys we play with with her, so not to send her into an episode of hysterics.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Do you have any pictures that you could send me? I might be able to help more if I saw a picture of her...

I have a few ideas but I cant really say without seeing her.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

I am no expert, but it sounds like she has a bunch of different issues happening.

I wish her parents would get just get her the help she needs! At the very least, an evaluation.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

i'm a special ed teacher and unfortunately a lot of parents are in denial or have trouble understanding what's going on with their kids. if her parents seem resistant, try phrasing things in a different way. for example, the swallowing issues can be of concern because she might choke (if she has that much difficulty). perhaps if you present it to them in a way that's easier to understand and absorb it'll open the doors to the rest of the issues if there are any. hth a bit.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Has she seen a pediatrician?

I would think they would be take immediate action. It sounds like she has global developmental delays. My girlfriend's daughter has the same thing.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Re: Questions About Special Needs

When I read your post, I feel like I am reading about my son when he was an infant/toddler.

The Pediatrician should recommend the child get a Neurological exam right away. I'm sort of surprised it hasn't happened already.

The more time wasted ... the less time the child is getting help. Delays can become monumental when left unadressed.

Can you sit down and talk to the Mom alone and just explain how worried you are ... how much you care about her child? Just do it in a loving ... non-confrontational ... way.

If the parents are anything like I was in the beginning, it's not denial ... it's fear. You know in your heart that something is wrong, but you are just so afraid to have it confirmed for real.

I can relate so well.

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Since Im here I wanted to take a minute to fill you in a bit on what I found out....I'll FM you later too....

I spoke to a friend of mine who is a ped. Without seeing her....and with only what I am telling him....he says that it sounds like either Noonan Syndrome or Turner Syndrome. He told me to tell you that it's very admirable to want to get to the bottom of what her issues are. But to put your mind at ease a bit...if she has either Noonan or Turner Syndrome she will be OK in the long run even without EI. He also said that, with just what I told him regarding her "signs", that he's sure that the pediatrician is well aware that there are issues going on with the child. She has a lot of signs that, when put together, are indicative of there being something going on.

I emailed my other friend. The one who is the geneticist....like I said..he has yet to get back to me... ...

Re: Questions About Special Needs

Posted by dottiemchugh

I am no expert, but it sounds like she has a bunch of different issues happening.

I wish her parents would get just get her the help she needs! At the very least, an evaluation.

Message edited 11/25/2008 11:27:13 AM.