Jellous

I know that I really have no right to feel this way since I am very blessed to have a healthy happy 18 month old...

but when I go over to the pregnancy board or parenting board and someone is talking about being 7-8-9 months PG...complaining about back ache...waiting for Labor...posting thier delivery story...I get so Jealous

I wish that my delivery wasn't scary...and that I could have experienced being 9 months PG and uncomfortable, getting excited about going into labor...instead of petrified because it was too early...and that my baby wouldn't have had to all these tubes and wires attached to him.

I just feel like I didn't do anything wrong...I had really great prenatal care...I didn't eat poorly...I have no other preexsisting medical conditions...so why couldn't I have had a full term pregnancy?

I know its silly...because I still have a the most precious baby boy...but I can't help feeling cheated on the whole 3rd trimester experience.

I pray next time around I will get to experience that...but since I already have had one preemie my chances for another are about 50%...I just want to be a big belly, feet swelled, uncomfortable FAT pregnant woman.

sorry just needed to vent...and I thought you would all understand most.

Thanks for letting me Vent.

Re: Jellous

I think its so human to be jealous of things that we want so bad, and to see other ppl talking about them makes us feel bad.

I dont know your pregnancy story but im sorry you didnt experience it the way you wanted to.

Re: Jellous

I think that you have good reason to feel what you are feeling.

Re: Jellous

what you feel is completly normal....And Im sure you will get every chance to have that.

I am jealous when I read it all too, I had pre-mature labor before any of those things as well but unfortunatly my baby didnt make it, so I also am jealous of visiting hour complaints, leaving the hospital with a baby after giving birth, sleepless nights etc..


Best advice- Dont get stuck on what could have been , you cant live in the now if you only think what could have been.

I hope you get to experience it ALL someday soon

Re: Jellous

Posted by dm24angel

what you feel is completly normal....And Im sure you will get every chance to have that.

I am jealous when I read it all too, I had pre-mature labor before any of those things as well but unfortunatly my baby didnt make it, so I also am jealous of visiting hour complaints, leaving the hospital with a baby after giving birth, sleepless nights etc..


Best advice- Dont get stuck on what could have been , you cant live in the now if you only think what could have been.

I hope you get to experience it ALL someday soon

Re: Jellous

Sorry you feel this way

Message edited 2/9/2006 11:18:10 AM.

Re: Jellous

I can admit I RARELY go on the pregnancy or parenting boards. My son was born premature and survived for 26 days. While I am 100% jealous of anyone who was lucky to carry to term and give birth to a healthy baby, it is only because I want it so badly for myself. If we are all lucky enough to get BFP's in our future, I'm sure we'll all have some complaining to do with being uncomfortable, in pain or whatever. I would love to "complain" with all of you

Re: Jellous

Posted by Boobobunny

Posted by dm24angel

what you feel is completly normal....And Im sure you will get every chance to have that.

I am jealous when I read it all too, I had pre-mature labor before any of those things as well but unfortunatly my baby didnt make it, so I also am jealous of visiting hour complaints, leaving the hospital with a baby after giving birth, sleepless nights etc..


Best advice- Dont get stuck on what could have been , you cant live in the now if you only think what could have been.

I hope you get to experience it ALL someday soon

Thank you so much....I'm so sorry that your baby didn't make it. I know that by compalining I am being a bit selfish...because I do still have James. And your right...I need to get past it...and just be grateful for what I have.

Re: Jellous

Posted by redstar

Sorry you feel this way

Re: Jellous

Posted by dm24angel

Posted by Boobobunny

Posted by dm24angel

what you feel is completly normal....And Im sure you will get every chance to have that.

I am jealous when I read it all too, I had pre-mature labor before any of those things as well but unfortunatly my baby didnt make it, so I also am jealous of visiting hour complaints, leaving the hospital with a baby after giving birth, sleepless nights etc..


Best advice- Dont get stuck on what could have been , you cant live in the now if you only think what could have been.

I hope you get to experience it ALL someday soon

Thank you so much....I'm so sorry that your baby didn't make it. I know that by compalining I am being a bit selfish...because I do still have James. And your right...I need to get past it...and just be grateful for what I have.

I didnt mean to imply you were being selfish. Not at all. I would miss those things whther my baby lived or not, so you are entitled to feel that way. I was more trying to say that since you cant turn back time to ever have those things, it makes it worse to think what if ya know?

Even if your chances of a premie are 50% again, that still means 50% that it wont be as well. I do hope the next time your PG you get to experience it all , the good and bad like the rest do...

I didnt mean to make you feel bad, sorry if it came out wrong

Re: Jellous

Re: Jellous

Posted by dooodles

Posted by Boobobunny

I think Donna has the right idea...I should avoid the PG board since reading it stirs up these emotions.

I just stay away from those boards because I do miss what I did not get to experience in my first pregnancy so I know hearing women talk about their experiences is going to hurt and in the end, make me jealous. I know any future children I may be blessed with will also be preemies - just not as severe as my son. And I wonder if I ever do get PG again, will I be thinking those thoughts with every thing I feel that I did not experience in my first one? I just don't want you to think you are alone in your thoughts

Re: Jellous

You ladies sure are giving me insight into a world I never knew existed. I hope you have another child to love and adore soon

Re: Jellous

i hear ya

Re: Jellous

I feel the same way. I look at my sisters, who suffered from hyperemesis, bedridden all 9 mos, having pre-eclampsia, IV, hospital stays, etc. and all gave birth early. They all were SO concerned about their baby's health, to the point that they didn't have caffeine, would do EVERYTHING right by the book, and they all suffered, and they all gave birth prematurely. Their babies were in incubators, hooked up to oxygen and IVs before they even came home. As if that isn't enough, one of my sisters just brought her two month baby to Schneiders Hospital bc he stopped breathing and had blood coming from his nose and mouth. Turns out he has something called Apparent Life Threatening Events and has to be on a monitor 24-7 bc he stops breathing and chokes. Then there's me: love children more than anything, have wanted children since I am a child and am completely infertile. Oh, and of course the babies that shared a hospital room with my sister's baby when he was admitted at Schneiders: one had surgery for a brain tumor; the other had open heart surgery -- and neither baby's parents were there during or after the procedure. Good times. So yes, I can say I'm jealous, bitter, etc ... but all with good reason. Your feelings are natural, believe me.