Highly angry & dissatisfied

Im 28 yrs old and have 2 children (10&12) from a previous relationship. Me and my DH are TTC and we are both upset and feeling dissatisfied.

I just failed my 1st IVF cycle. Everything according to the DR went perfectly. I had 18 eggs, 14 fertilized and I had the transfer done on 12/21 at the blast stage. On 12/30 I was informed I was not PG which I already knew because I was belleding heavily 2 days after the transfer. Of course me & DH were very upset but that is not why I am angry.

When I called to schedule my consult with the DR they wanted me to wait 2 weeks to see him?? I told them I wanted to see him sooner. I am on such an emotional roller coaster which you ladies already know how it is. They spoke with the DR and scheduled me for yesterday 1/7 which got xl because of a power outage. To add insult to injury I am now rescheduled for 1/15 but the reason why I am mad is because she told me the DR said if AF comes before the 15 call them to come in for bloodwork & u/s??? I asked her why I would be coming in for u/s & bloodwork and she checked with the nurse and she said if I am intersted in doing another cycle come in??? I am clueless is it common practice to not meet with your patients right away and then to tell them to come in to start another cycle?

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I'm so sorry your IVF failed. I just experienced that too so I know how heartbreaking it can be.

Do you have frozen embryos? Maybe they are assuming that you'd want to do an FET. Did you speak to them about that at all?

My RE put me on BCP so that I could decide what I wanted to do after my failed IVF. I met with him about 1 week after (I was away on vacation) and then we discussed next steps and set up my FET protocol.

After that, I was given a time to come in for a basline ultrasound and was given the entire timeline of how my FET process would go.

Hope this helps in some way!

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I thought about freezing but it costs alot of money and I have heard so many stories about the eggs not even making it to and during the freezing process so for that I would ratehr use fresh eggs.

As for BCP I have not even gotten that far I have not seen the inside of the DR's office since my tranfer. I just feel horrible about it not working and waited the dreaded TWW and now having another dreaded TWW just to talk to the DR is horrible.

BTW I am very sorry for your failed IVF as well.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Yes 14. I put back 2. We discarded the others. 14 fertilized by the 1st day when they called me with the update. Then by day 4 it dropped to 11 (IDK) ?? I have been on the computer like crazy and I have read stories about the frozen eggs not making it. But I figured while I have another cycle covered I would prefer to do fresh anyway.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I think you should have tried an FET.

It dropped to 11 because some embies have an arrest in development. 11 is an awesome number.

For many women FET's work when a fresh cycle didn't, because there is alot less stress put on the body.

I just can't believe you threw away so many perfectly good embies...

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

The sad thing is my DR never really educated me on the FET. I think that is why I am so upset. After reading everyones post I feel like all my DR cares about is $ and thats it. He never told me I could have better chances to concieve with the frozen because if I did that, its the less $ he makes in the long run becuae I literally went to the DR sometimes 2 & 3 times a week and when I was giving myself the shots he made me come in 6 times in the week. That is a $ 40.00 co pay each time + whatever he is billing my insurance company for. Now I feel bad about throwing away all the eggs and I just wish my DR gave me more insight and a better feeling about everything.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

What dr. do you go to?

We had to fill out tons of paperwork when we did our IVF cycle--- before we even started stimming. They covered how many embryos we'd want to put back, what we were doing with the rest, and if we chose to froze them when the day came that we were done what we chose to do with any that we had left- donate to another couple, donate to medical research, or discard.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Fortunatley I am lucky to have insurance that covers my IVF but they do not cover everything. It cost me aprox. $ 2,000.00 even with the insurance. My DR wanted $ 1,795.00 to freeze the embryos, plus a $ 695.00 yearly storage fee regardless of how long they store them. The only thing I had to do was sign one form saying I was not freezing them and that was it. They acted normal as if nothing was wrong with not freezing them. Now I feel bad about not keeping them. I am very torn and I think I am going to switch Dr's. The only problem is I live in CT & the only offices near me are my DR's office and another office which he used to work for until he left and opened his own practice.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

I would def consider going to another doctor. I'm shocked the doctor didn't discuss the FET process with you. But don't feel bad, you can do another fresh cycle and than freeze the left over embies at that time. Try it with another practice.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I go to Park Avenue Fertlilty in Trumbull, CT. We spoke about the amount of embryos but all I had to do was fill out one form declining the freezing and that was it? Does that not sound right?

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

If you are disatisfied, I know RMA has a two CT offices (Danbury and Norwalk). Their team is fantastic. (I went to RMA of NJ), and the founder of the practice (who did my last transfer), is also the Director of the RMA CT offices.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement!

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

They discarded them. It was either freeze or discard!

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I will definately look into them. They are a little far for me but is worth it if they are going to answer my prayers.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

After my first failed IVF cycle I was told that before I could start a new cycle, I'd have to have a failed IVF consult. My appointment was not going to be for three or four weeks because I needed one at night not smack dab in the middle of hte effing day. I pitched a fit in the office and they agreed to call the doctor and he made an accomodation for me. Like others posted, I would be concerned that yoru RE did not recommend freezing. Yes, it is expensive but it is cheaper than doing another fresh IVF cycle. I would be annoyed that they want you to pay up front for the whole year. My RE charges I think $60 a month or I can pay for the year and get a discount. It is unfortunate that you have limited options with regard to an RE near you. How far are you from the city? How far are you from Pt. Jeff? Is goign to the other RE that you dr used to be associated with an option for you? Basically all they are going to do in the consult is to go over what if anything they believe contributed to this cycle not working and what if anything they would change for the next cycle. If they want you to come in they probably do not want you to miss a cycle and another month which many of us dont (we jump back on the horse right away). HTH

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Cornell is in the city but they have a monitoring office in Mt. Vernon if that helps you.

I'm angry for you too. Sorry about your failed cycle.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

It is unfortunate because I have currently have children and bills (I know everyone else does as well) and I was surprised how many out of pocket exspenses I incurred. They told me 3 days before it was due that I had to pay $ 600.00 for anestesia becuase he is not afiliated with any insurance comapnies. Granted it is only $ 600.00 but when it is sprung on you like that you get a bad feeling. I am originally from NY but I am currently 45 min. from NY and to get there in the morning early for constant bloodwork and u/s is not possible for me becuase the traffic is horrible and I have to be to work by 8:30 am and it is just to far. I know all he is going to tell me is why it didnt work but I am angry because I already told them I needed to see the DR sooner thats when they scheduled me for 1/7 and then they xl me and pushed me back to the 15th anyway.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Thank you I appreciate it. I wish I was still living in NY because it seems like there are so many other options as far as DRs.

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

I would DEFINITELY be seeing another doc if I were you...

Re: Highly angry & dissatisfied

Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it.