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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Thoughts on being CF and religion?
I don't consider myself extremely religious, but I often read the Bible and try to live my life as God would want me to. I sometimes feel like I'm letting my religion down with my choice to be child free. Just wanted to hear everyone's take on their choice vs. religion.
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Posted 4/7/09 4:09 PM  |
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KittyKatCopper
missing my handsome boy
Member since 3/09 1579 total posts
Name:
Kat - HamptonsBride (LIW)
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
I always looked at DH during wedding vows that required you "welcoming children" in your lives or something like that and would roll my eyes...haha...i am Lutheran...but consider myself to have more "faith" than "religion" if that makes sense...I really don't think about the religious aspect of not having kids..but do try to live life as a good person everywhere else.
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| Posted 4/7/09 4:24 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
I'm Agnostic and DH is an Atheist. If we ever did have a child, religious guilt would not be the reason why.
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| Posted 4/7/09 7:45 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by KittyKatCopper
I always looked at DH during wedding vows that required you "welcoming children" in your lives or something like that and would roll my eyes...
I was married by a married by childless female Episcopal priest (who is awesome, btw) & she interpreted that part very loosely.
She shared with us that she waited until later in life & it didn't happened for them & instead of spending time & money on pursuing other means so having their own children, they opened their lives to children through her work with the church & his work with college students ( he was a dean or something I think)
I really liked that interpretation.
Message edited 4/8/2009 10:56:56 AM.
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| Posted 4/7/09 9:40 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
This is a big problem for me. I am very religious and try to really live my faith. However, technically speaking even if I had one or two children I would still not be accepting all of the children that God wanted for me OR only having sex for procreation SO where does it end?
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| Posted 4/7/09 9:46 PM |
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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
i think its  if you ask me....
just be a good person if there really is a god he doesn't seem like the type that would be mad at you for the way you chose to live your life - as long as you tried to be a good person its all that matters
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| Posted 4/8/09 10:33 AM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Nik211
i think its if you ask me....
just be a good person if there really is a god he doesn't seem like the type that would be mad at you for the way you chose to live your life - as long as you tried to be a good person its all that matters
And that is why I will always have issues with organized religion
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| Posted 4/8/09 11:09 AM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by BunnyWife
I'm Agnostic and DH is an Atheist. If we ever did have a child, religious guilt would not be the reason why.
Pretty much the same for us.
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| Posted 4/8/09 8:32 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
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| Posted 4/8/09 8:59 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
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| Posted 4/8/09 10:09 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
That's not part of your wedding vows, though. Like I said, there is nothing in my wedding vows about children. Additionally, the question is generally phrased "IF God blesses you with children, will you accept them." That isn't a mandate to go forth and multiply in my book.
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| Posted 4/9/09 8:14 AM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Kara
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
That's not part of your wedding vows, though. Like I said, there is nothing in my wedding vows about children. Additionally, the question is generally phrased "IF God blesses you with children, will you accept them." That isn't a mandate to go forth and multiply in my book.
I agree. If I happened to get pregnant, then of course I would welcome and love the child.
But I don't take that line of the ceremony to mean that I MUST go out and actively TRY to have children.
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| Posted 4/9/09 11:32 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Kara
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
That's not part of your wedding vows, though. Like I said, there is nothing in my wedding vows about children. Additionally, the question is generally phrased "IF God blesses you with children, will you accept them." That isn't a mandate to go forth and multiply in my book.
I agree. If I happened to get pregnant, then of course I would welcome and love the child.
But I don't take that line of the ceremony to mean that I MUST go out and actively TRY to have children.
I am not going to dispute anyone's interpretation of their religion. It is such a personal thing. But I am pretty sure the official teaching of the Church ( the RC Church ) is that sex is only to be used for procreation. . . so in that sense, any attempt to NOT get pregnant is against the church.
Trust me, I take my pill like clockwork so I am not on ANY soap box here LOL just explaining why it is hard to reconcile not wanting to have any children AND my faith.
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| Posted 4/9/09 11:36 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Tilde
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Kara
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
That's not part of your wedding vows, though. Like I said, there is nothing in my wedding vows about children. Additionally, the question is generally phrased "IF God blesses you with children, will you accept them." That isn't a mandate to go forth and multiply in my book.
I agree. If I happened to get pregnant, then of course I would welcome and love the child.
But I don't take that line of the ceremony to mean that I MUST go out and actively TRY to have children.
I am not going to dispute anyone's interpretation of their religion. It is such a personal thing. But I am pretty sure the official teaching of the Church ( the RC Church ) is that sex is only to be used for procreation. . . so in that sense, any attempt to NOT get pregnant is against the church.
Trust me, I take my pill like clockwork so I am not on ANY soap box here LOL just explaining why it is hard to reconcile not wanting to have any children AND my faith.
I understand the Church's teaching on sex and marriage and children. I went to Catholic school for 13 years. The teaching is NOT that sex is ONLY for procreation. The teaching is that sex has a two-fold purpose, one purpose of which is procreation and that sex should always be open to procreation (i.e., no artificial birth control). If the only purpose of sex was procreation, then the church would not teach natural family planning.
Regardless, my posts on this thread were NOT about what the official teaching of the church is - they were about how *I* FEEL about the portion of the ceremony that dealt with children and how I interpret the statements I made on my wedding day. I've yet to meet one Catholic who literally follows every teaching of the church.
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| Posted 4/9/09 12:02 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Kara
Posted by Tilde
Posted by anonttcer
Posted by Kara
Posted by Tilde
Posted by Kara
I really don't see it as a mandate to have children. I've always heard it as something similar to "IF you are blessed with children, will you welcome them?" I have no problem with that sentiment. I may not want children, but I don't doubt that they are a huge blessing.
FWIW, I am Catholic, was married in the Catholic church, and there was nothing about children in my wedding vows...
Part of the Catholic ceremony includes the question will you willingly accept children, I have never heard a wedding mass without that question
(not saying you are lying, just curious?)
That's not part of your wedding vows, though. Like I said, there is nothing in my wedding vows about children. Additionally, the question is generally phrased "IF God blesses you with children, will you accept them." That isn't a mandate to go forth and multiply in my book.
I agree. If I happened to get pregnant, then of course I would welcome and love the child.
But I don't take that line of the ceremony to mean that I MUST go out and actively TRY to have children.
I am not going to dispute anyone's interpretation of their religion. It is such a personal thing. But I am pretty sure the official teaching of the Church ( the RC Church ) is that sex is only to be used for procreation. . . so in that sense, any attempt to NOT get pregnant is against the church.
Trust me, I take my pill like clockwork so I am not on ANY soap box here LOL just explaining why it is hard to reconcile not wanting to have any children AND my faith.
I understand the Church's teaching on sex and marriage and children. I went to Catholic school for 13 years. The teaching is NOT that sex is ONLY for procreation. The teaching is that sex has a two-fold purpose, one purpose of which is procreation and that sex should always be open to procreation (i.e., no artificial birth control). If the only purpose of sex was procreation, then the church would not teach natural family planning.
Regardless, my posts on this thread were NOT about what the official teaching of the church is - they were about how *I* FEEL about the portion of the ceremony that dealt with children and how I interpret the statements I made on my wedding day. I've yet to meet one Catholic who literally follows every teaching of the church.
Hmmm good point about NFP - thanks for explaining I am having a hard time reconciling my beliefs with the official teachings but you are totally right in that no one follows EVERY teaching!
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| Posted 4/9/09 12:28 PM |
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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Tilde
I am having a hard time reconciling my beliefs with the official teachings but you are totally right in that no one follows EVERY teaching!
I'm in the same boat. I find it hard to seperate my beliefs with the bible and catholic dogma. It's something that always weighs heavy on me.
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| Posted 4/9/09 12:39 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Tilde
I am having a hard time reconciling my beliefs with the official teachings but you are totally right in that no one follows EVERY teaching!
I have a difficult time with this sometimes, too. I guess I don't so much feel that way about having children (which is maybe why I am having a hard time explaining myself here), but I definitely encounter this in other areas. I'm glad you posted this - b/c sometimes it's nice to know that you're not the only one who struggles with issues of faith.
ETA -- And sorry I had a difficult time explaining what I meant above. I wasn't meaning to be argumentative. I think I was just having a hard time explaining what I meant.
Message edited 4/9/2009 1:56:55 PM.
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| Posted 4/9/09 1:32 PM |
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Lizzie217
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/09 611 total posts
Name:
elizabeth
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Re: Thoughts on being CF and religion?
Posted by Tilde
This is a big problem for me. I am very religious and try to really live my faith. However, technically speaking even if I had one or two children I would still not be accepting all of the children that God wanted for me OR only having sex for procreation SO where does it end?
I agree. At pre cana I had to my bite my tongue because IMO it is ignorant to encourage people to have child upon child. People should have children as they see fit and also as they can afford. If I had as many children as my faith wanted they would go hungry and unclothed!
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| Posted 4/9/09 5:14 PM |
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