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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Hey everyone
I have a good friend who has been trapped in a very verbally and emotionally abusive marriage. He hasn't been physical with her--but he has DESTROYED so many thing in their home, and threatened her so much and its gotten even worse lately...that she is scared. He has many weapons around the home including guns, so she's always afraid to stand up to him.
They are finally separating and he is moving out. They have a child together, debt, and a house that they are having trouble paying for as is. She wants to try and mediate visitation for the child and support and wants him to agree to something with a 3rd party there. He refuses -- as always he wants it HIS way cause he's EXTREMELY controlling -- and doesn't want to budge.
She has NO money for an attorney and is so emotionally drained from working f/t and taking care of their child all on her own, she doesn't know where to go from here or how to start.
Does anyone have any recs as to maybe how she can start with no money for an attorney? When he doesn't get his way he becomes very violent with their home and now she's really really scared it might end up with him turning on her or the baby.
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Posted 4/24/09 2:55 PM  |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
does she have a safe place she can go stay?
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| Posted 4/24/09 3:04 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
they just had a whole thing like this on the dr phil but the only thing the lady husbands was beating her and they set her up in shelter.
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| Posted 4/24/09 3:12 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Posted by Beth
does she have a safe place she can go stay?
well the husband is moving out today apparently -- so she can stay at her house for right now. but otherwise he knows where all her friends and relatives live...if anything escalates--hence why she's so scared. 
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| Posted 4/24/09 3:17 PM |
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sweetie101
you make me smile :o)
Member since 5/08 4419 total posts
Name:
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
well if she feels unsafe they gave this number out on the dr phil show at 1 (800) 799-SAFE (7233).
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| Posted 4/24/09 3:27 PM |
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PattyCake
LIF Adult
Member since 2/07 1007 total posts
Name:
Hope
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Posted by sweetie101
well if she feels unsafe they gave this number out on the dr phil show at 1 (800) 799-SAFE (7233).
Thank God you posted that. I am so sorry that she finds herself in this situation. Abuse NEVER decreases, but only increases. That house, whether he moves out of it or not, is NOT a safe place for her to be. I pray that she finds somewhere safe to go.
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| Posted 4/24/09 3:59 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Posted by MrsPJB2007
Posted by Beth
does she have a safe place she can go stay?
well the husband is moving out today apparently -- so she can stay at her house for right now. but otherwise he knows where all her friends and relatives live...if anything escalates--hence why she's so scared.
please tell her that she needs to have her locks changed if he is leaving.
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| Posted 4/24/09 4:52 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Posted by headoverheels
please tell her that she needs to have her locks changed if he is leaving.
She can't do that unless he officially moves out.
If he is still claiming that place as his residence (which I am sure he will since he owns half of it), if she changes the locks he can call the cops and have her arrested.
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| Posted 4/24/09 5:43 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
i would check the phone books for legal aid or local attorneys that may take her case pro-bono.
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| Posted 4/24/09 7:43 PM |
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freshstuff
I would do me
Member since 5/08 1188 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
The state I live in has help with lawyers etc. for people who make under a certain income. Here it's in the dhhr (department of health and human resources).
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| Posted 4/24/09 10:44 PM |
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
I believe that for cases of abuse, a person can get some sort of priority for Legal Aid or other free legal services. There is also the Modest Means Panel at the Bar Association for divorce cases. Attorneys who participate agree to take a $1,000 retainer and charge an hourly rate of $150. I may be wrong on the hourly rate but it's in that ballpark.
Message edited 4/24/2009 10:56:12 PM.
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| Posted 4/24/09 10:55 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
 
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| Posted 4/24/09 11:07 PM |
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Wendy1220
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 2004 total posts
Name:
wendy
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
Since there are forms of abusive going on, please give her these phone numbers:
Suffolk 631-666-8833 24 hour hotline, they can assist her and assess her safety. They'll talk with her about her options and can refer her to services that are provided at no charge.
Also have a shelter in the event she is no longer safe to remain in her home.
Nassau 516-542-0404 - 24 hour hotline, same services as listed above.
Any of the 5 boroughs: 1-800-621-4673
If you need anymore info, please FM me and encourage her to call.
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| Posted 4/25/09 6:49 AM |
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lise
LIF Infant
Member since 6/07 272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
I used to work for the coalition against domestic violence in nassau. There is one in suffolk. Once she calls the hotline a intake worker would get information from her- and schedule an appt to meet w/ a social worker. There is a lawyer in the office that she could speak to and see her options for legal services. If for any reason your friend feels that she is in danger they would set her up in safe home- (it's a nice home in confidential location). They also provide counseling for children affected by DV. I would encourage her to call as all calls are confidential- any other info FM me.
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| Posted 4/25/09 10:46 AM |
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mcd01
Life is good : )
Member since 3/09 1932 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Looking for help for a friend in need (abusive situation)
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| Posted 4/25/09 11:51 AM |
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