Advice needed, please...

Hi everyone, I don't post here very often, but I have a situation and need some help.

A family member had been trying to get pregnant for some time and finally conceived twins. She was about 19 weeks and out of nowhere began bleeding and lost one of the babies (both girls). Now, the second baby has only a 20% chance of survival (not sure of the details, but her cervix seems to be the problem). So... we would like to send her a gift as she is in the hospital on bedrest for the duration. Along with the typical books and snacks, my MIL suggested getting a pregnancy calendar to track the baby's progress, but the rest of the family thinks this is a bad idea since the odds are stacked against the baby making it My MIL thinks we shouldn't dismiss the fact that there is a growing baby inside and that we should be positive and embrace the pregnancy.

Anyway, thoughts?? We don't want to offend or upset anyone. Since this is a sensitive situation, I figured some of you may personally know or know someone who could advise us. TIA!!!

Message edited 6/17/2009 11:33:34 PM.

Re: Advice needed, please...

I would not suggest the calendar. I think that would freak me out in case things turned out bad. I would find out a special food she liked or something else to let her know you are thinking of her.

Re: Advice needed, please...

I would not send her a pregnancy calendar.

Re: Advice needed, please...

Yeah, I would not get her a pregnancy calendar right now. Why not give her something nice for herself that she could use in the hospital, like nice pj's or a lounge outfit, flowers, something like that?

Re: Advice needed, please...

There are so many other things that you could get her. I would not suggest a calendar at all. You could send an edible arrangement - those are fun. Food is always great. A box of candy, magazines, some sort of a game or activity (just throwing something out there).

Good luck and so sorry to hear about her situation.

Re: Advice needed, please...

Definitely not a calender.....from personal experience, I would have been devastated if someone gave me a calender while I was in the hospital with Rogan.
What I appreciated most during my hospital stay:
Outside food (brownies, edible arrangements, muffins), magazines, books, company..........

Re: Advice needed, please...

Thanks so much, everyone - I figured with the baby's chances, it might not be a good idea. I really appreciate your input.

Please say lots of prayers for our cousin, she sure needs them right now.... miracles can happen.........

Re: Advice needed, please...

Many, many prayers to your cousin........

Re: Advice needed, please...

I will for that baby and NO WAY to the calendar .

Re: Advice needed, please...

is she religious? maybe something comforting related to that...

definitely not the calendar though....

Re: Advice needed, please...

A friend of mine was on bedrest for the last 20 weeks of her pregnancy and the only thing she wanted was movies, books and crosswords... what about getting her a Netflix subscription for 6 months... or a bunch of games that she can play while in bed??

ETA: I highly suggest staying away from the calendar until you know that the baby is going to be OK.

Message edited 6/18/2009 1:22:17 PM.

Re: Advice needed, please...

Again, thank you all for your advice. Sadly though, my cousin is losing baby #2. We are devastated beyond words and only ask that you keep saying your prayers for healing and comfort during this time.