Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
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Professional Aunts No Kids
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Great Ariticle - Rachel Ray and Childless by Choice
By Rachel Emma Silverman
Associated Press
Rachael Ray
Rachael Ray, the peppy TV and publishing personality, was interviewed several months ago on ABC’s “Nightline.” The Q & A turned to the subject of kids; Ms. Ray and her husband have no children.
Ms. Ray said that she loves hanging out and cooking with children. But, at least for now, children were not in the cards, in part because of the demands—and fulfillment—of her job.
“I think that I’m 40 years old, and I have an enormous amount of hours that have to be dedicated to work,” said Ms. Ray. “For me personally, I would need more time to feel like I’d be a good mom to my own child. I feel like a borderline good mom to my dog. So I can’t imagine if it was a human baby….I feel like it would be unfair, not only to the child but to the people I work with.”
The interviewer, Cynthia McFadden, then pressed, “Do you think you’re missing something?”
“I don’t feel like I am. I really don’t,” replied Ms. Ray.
The interview struck a chord with me. Like Ms. Ray, for years I wasn’t sure that kids were going to be in the picture for me, as I’ve blogged about before. It wasn’t because I was busy running a media empire like Ms. Ray, but I was in a profession that I enjoyed and which kept me busy. Nor was it because I hadn’t met the right partner–my husband and I have been together for nearly a decade.
But my life seemed fulfilling enough as is to add something else life-changing to the mix; I was satisfied with my marriage, my work, my friends, my role as an aunt and dog-owner, and my avocations, such as travel. My husband also didn’t have strong yearnings for children, so there was no pressure there.
When I told friends and family that I was thinking of remaining childless by choice they thought that I was crazy or that I would have major regrets. But, like Ms. Ray, I really didn’t feel like I was missing anything in my life. (For a smart analysis of Ms. Ray’s interview, read this essay at Salon.com. ) I read the book “Maybe Baby,” an anthology of essays about people weighing whether to have children and of those who remained childless by design (rather than because of the wrenching experience of infertility.) The book cited the body of research showing how much emotional and financial stress having children can place on marriages.
Ultimately, I did become pregnant. And I can honestly say that being a mom has been the greatest experience of my life. But if I didn’t have kids, I don’t necessarily think I would have regretted it, since I know there are a lot of elements that make up a fulfilling life besides children.
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I thnk this is the best quote
Ultimately, I did become pregnant. And I can honestly say that being a mom has been the greatest experience of my life. But if I didn’t have kids, I don’t necessarily think I would have regretted it, since I know there are a lot of elements that make up a fulfilling life besides children.
Message edited 6/17/2009 10:19:12 PM.
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